Embry’s insistence took her by surprise, and she startled at first, blinking at the sharp edge of her exclamatory no. “Oh, okay, I will, definitely,” she replied, a brief smile gracing her lips. “I wanted to but. You know, I didn’t think you wanted me to so I’m glad you wanted me to want to keep it—or at least are okay with me keeping it 'cause I do, definitely do.” She was relieved, most of all, at getting to keep the drawing—she could feel how she’d already grown attached to it, though she’d only gotten to see it an hour prior to all this. A part of Daiane had to wonder the reason behind Embry’s insistence. Was it just that she wanted her house to be rid of all reminders of their relationship? The thought deflated her a little.
Daiane was trying to force her breaths to be even, concentrating on maintaining that steady pair of inhales and exhales that meant you weren’t crying, when the shock of Embry’s words stopped her breaths completely. Bee… her mind whispered, the only word that rung in her otherwise silent thoughts. Dai’s eyes flicked upward to meet Embry’s, and she was surprised, again, by the genuine pain she saw—that familiar feeling that you’d made a grave mistake you didn’t know if you’d be forgiven for. While Daiane had certainly felt that multiple times over the month, she hadn’t expected Embry to feel the same, not at all. However, a large part of her was more than relieved that she did, and a new sort of… hope… had taken root.
“I–I don’t know what to say, Embry. I didn’t think you still felt that way. I thought you, well, I thought you didn’t really want anything to do with me anymore.” A fresh hurt bloomed in her chest, so that she was, once again, blinking back a new set of tears. Daiane physically shook off the feeling, attempting a small smile. “But you don’t need my forgiveness—you didn’t do anything wrong,” she insisted. “You were just upset, and you should’ve been upset, because it probably felt like I faked everything for points even though I didn’t and wouldn’t ever. And I’m not faking now either—if that was a question—when I say that I miss you so much and I’m sorry too about everything. But—” Daiane paused, her eyes falling to the ground, a thread of guilt weaving its way into her expression. “But Embry, what if this is a task? What if I got a task to, like, convince you to get back with me? Then, doesn’t that change everything? For you? Can you even—I know you miss me, which, me too, like it’s killing me looking at you when you look so gorgeous and I can’t hold you or dance with you but… I can’t do an on/off relationship with you. Not when it hurts so much every time. And it feels like that’s what we’re becoming and I can’t do that, Bee.” Daiane hated herself for what she was saying, but after the wreck she was the first time around, then even worse this past month—she just really couldn’t do that again. At the same time though, she had to ask herself; was being permanently apart from Embry what she really wanted? Was it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?
"I love you, and I hate not being with you, but if we’re only getting back together just to break up again… Embry…” Daiane was already shaking her head before she’d finished, the tears slipping down her cheeks despite her best efforts.