Was he the problem?
Was there a reason all the people he loved and cared about just seemed to die? Was he cursed? Was he just destined not to love anyone ever again so that he wouldn’t have to go through losing them all over again?
Ziah… His dad… Mikel… Aline… And now Sadie.
And with her gone as well, so was his very last thread of hope that he still could find love again one day.
She’s in a better place now but selfishly… He wished she wasn’t. He wished she was right there where he was so he could look at her one last time and tell her how beautiful she is, to let her just how happy she made him. He wished he could hold her tightly in his arms and protect her from any harm and pain that were to come. Now, well, he’ll never get the chance.
He called her at least fifty times that day.
Sadie was different, and although it took more than enough years for them to reach that point, ever since he found her all over again, his sadness and pain just seemed to mellow whenever he saw her face, she was too good for this world. And so was Ziah.
I suppose that’s why they say the good ones go first.
This crewl world didn’t know how to handle their presence, lighting up every room and countless hearts all over the world.
If only he got enough time with her… this was merely the beginning, he may have known her for decades but he never really knew her until now. She was kind, she was wise, talented and sensitive, and in a way, she saved him.
He was never the man he was before, ever since the day Ziah died, he was alone. He tried, but he couldn’t let anyone in his heart as the walls that were built there were simply too high. He was numb, depressed, and the hope for happiness in his eyes was fading slowly, and it has been going on for years. Sadie was the only one after Ziah that someone managed to somehow get through his walls, and he let her.
Andy took deep breaths as he stood in front of her house. He watched the people going inside, some he knew, some he didn’t, but his legs stood there frozen, staring at the house, a memory of her coming out of the door was stuck like a vivid picture in his mind. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t walk inside the house and mourn with all these people, it would mean she too was truly gone. If he doesn’t see it or cooperate, there’s still a chance she’ll come back, right?
” Dad…” a hand on his back bringing him back to the dreadful real world, ” I can’t-” he started, stopping as the tears he tried so hard to hold back started coming out, the pain was too much to keep inside, he just couldn’t. He didn’t even know he was still capable of crying, after years of numbness, but at this moment standing in front of that house, Andy just couldnt hold back the tears.” Yes you can” Kaya whispered, looking at him and passing him a cigarette.
// Kaya pov //
” You got through mom, you can get through this too.” she told him and looked over at the house silently for a moment. She wondered how Annie felt. Was it the same as an adult? As a child, you never really understand death, people will just tell you someone moved to a faraway land instead of telling you the truth. But Kaya understood. And the understanding that your own mother is no longer alive is quite traumatic, to say the least. Was it any easier now? With all the things Annie had learned over the years of her life, did she know how to make it tolerable? Was she prepared for that moment?
Probably not.
They never are.
Kaya knew Sadie, after all, she had been there before Kaya was even born. Both her parents have grown up together with her, they were even working in the same industry, but Kaya never had too much of a personal relationship with Sadie. Although she was there watching her dad form exactly that.
When Kaya was younger she didn’t understand how people managed to move on after the person they loved died, she couldn’t wrap her head around the possibility she could even manage that herself if it ever happened to her. But when she grew up, all she wanted was for her dad to find love and happiness again, that’s what Ziah would have wanted too.
It could have been a beautiful story, but life doesn’t work that way.
So she took his hand, and they started going towards the house.
@novella Sadie and Annie
@Littlefeets Ziah
