Atlas was right. As much as Adonis hated to say it, well, think because Adonis was not about to say that out loud. Atlas was right. Adonis has no idea what Atlas experienced, and from the looks of it, it was draining, but was Adonis going to admit that? Well, no. Call this a pride thing or whatever—though it was not really pride, more of something else—but Adonis was not about to apologize to Atlas and go like, ‘I’m sorry, let’s start over?’ all in one day. Ever since Atlas disappeared, Adonis had told himself that if Atlas was still alive and not death as presumed, Adonis would not forgive him.
It was not his right to forgive Atlas or not forgive him, it was Leon’s, and Adonis knew that too but it was also Adonis right whether people liked it or not. Adonis still remembers, he remembers the memories of seeing Leon so vulnerable. He remembers the day Atlas was confirmed to be missing all to well.
2037
That was the date, Atlas had gone missing. 2037, that was the year that Adonis would have engraved in his mind, in his memories forever. 2037, never had a year scared him and filled him with sadness as much as 2037.
Adonis remembered that when Atlas went missing, it was also the year that Leon’s father died and Leon had entered a depression episode. He remembered he had been scared to approach Leon, scared that he would make the situation worse and scared that Leon would falter. Adonis had feared that Leon would commit suicide and that would have been the last time he saw his best friend. He had wanted to comfort Leon, to take him out to the park- grab some drinks or go bowling, but Leon did not want comfort, he wanted to be left alone. It was not like Adonis knew how to properly comfort someone though, but he wanted to try and yet he could not because Leon did not want that. He had not even talked to Evie nor Sebastian, and truly the idea of Leon running away or committing suicide did not seem so far-fetched.
Adonis also remembered his thoughts back then; how could he not? Especially when Atlas was right in front of him. The blame, Adonis had placed all on Atlas, though he knew it was an @sshole move of him. But Adonis had sincerely believed Atlas was dead, and it was not like blaming a dead man was going to do anything. It was useless to hold a grudge against a dead person, and that was exactly why Adonis chose Atlas as his scapegoat—though technically Atlas was a reason for Leon’s emotional mess back then, but moreover, Adonis had chosen Atlas as his scapegoat because he had believed him to be dead, and if he was dead and he blamed it on him, it was a useless thing to do, and useless was how Adonis felt at that moment. He could not even do anything to help his own fcking best friend; he was completely and utterly useless, just like holding a grudge against a dead man was.
And Adonis wanted to hold that grudge for a very long time. Back then he had not thought of; what if Atlas was truly alive and was in a dangerous situation, could he still blame him? Currently, he was thinking yes or at least until Adonis gets his mind straight and knows more about what happened, the blame was still on Atlas because Adonis did not know how to act, what to do, or what to say, if the blame was not on Atlas and thus as stupid and strange as it sounds it had to be-for the time being.
“Not really,” Adonis muttered at Atlas asking if losing his family and the boy he loved was not enough. It was enough, and it was a painful feeling and situation, Adonis could tell- he would not be able to handle being away from his family, not being near his siblings or being with his father and mother, he was a family oriented person after all, so why did he say that? It was simple, he disliked Atlas, or well he wanted to get Atlas on the edge enough to confess what truly happened and then leave, so Adonis could have time to wrap his mind around all of this, to wrap his mind around the fact Atlas is alive and breathing, and how he cannot really blame Atlas anymore for all this. Sebastian had nudged him on the ribs, "Seriously, Adonis " Sebastian had hissed, “I didn’t mean it like that,” Adonis sad rolling his eyes. How did he mean it then? “Yeah, yeah. Your situation was sad. Congrats on being alive, let’s join a brotherhood together. See! I’m being kind and understanding now, Atlas, so what really happened? You know you can tell me since we’re bros and everything now.”
“Adonis..” Sebastian began in a warning tone.
“What? What did I do? It’s not like I’m forcing him to say it. I’m just congratulating my bro for being alive and not dying in the ‘serious situation that he won’t tell no one what happened’ situation that happened. How is that a bad thing?”
“For goodness sake,”
“Fine, fine,” Adonis said, not saying anything for the reminder of the time, well for less than 3 minutes. He had turned to Evie, asking her about the English test that happened before, deciding to change the mood and atmosphere. Evie was about to respond, but then Sebastian had chimed in, asking for France.
“Still, such a situation sucks, but at least you picked up a new language?” Sebastian said trying to be optimistic, “And at least you speak English, unfortunately, France is kinder towards English speaking people as they will assume you have money, especially if you have an American or british accent.”
It’s been a long time since Sebastian had been to his home country due to situations…but he still knew that the French tended to be more xenophobic towards non english or spanish speakers because he had friends from all over the world who shared their experience with him, and those with an American or british accent always told him, ‘it was a great advantage’ because they saw with their own eyes how english speakers with non-american/british accents were treated, and how foreigners who spoke a language that was not english or spanish were treated and Sebastian hated to hear that. At least, they always said they enjoyed themselves, Sebastian doesn’t know though with the situation Atlas is describing, whether Atlas got to enjoy himself and thus he had suggested they go rollercoasting, get Atlas to have fun again and catch up because unlike Adonis and previously Evie, Sebastian had never hated Atlas. He had found him interesting and a little funny, he had always been happy with the way Atlas made Leon feel and as long as his friend was happy, then Sebastian was too.
Atlas never got a chance to answer his invitation as Evie’s voice interrupted. She had answered her phone to her brother calling and walking off. Sebastian hoped everything was ok and gave her the thumbs up as she left. He turned back to Atlas again, “So…the offer is still hanging, you know, come on, it will be fun!.” Sebastian promised, practically begging with his eyes. In Sebastian’s mind, if this whole ‘getting along’ thing went well, Adonis would stop being an @ss to Atlas who already looks and acts like he had been through enough.
Atlas had responded to his proposition and Sebastian nodded, but at his next words, Sebastian had winced- Atlas had used that nickname for Leon. Sebastian turned to Atlas, hoping that it had not provoked an emotion from him, and relaxed, seeing that Adonis did not seem to care, he turned to Atlas relaxed, and before he knew it, a fist had reached Atlas jaw.
“Fck it, Adonis??” Sebastian turned to Adonis giving him an incredulous look as he pushed Adonis in a ‘wtf’ way. Adonis did not even flinch as instead he looked pleased with himself and he was. Adonis was pleased with himself, because he had done what he had promised himself to do if he saw Atlas again- give him a punch and well now he could half forgive him , then fully forgive him later. Adonis turned to Atlas, a smug look on his face, and then scratched his neck sheppishly “I forgive you and sorry about the punch… You know that brotherhood offer is still out there…”