The smiles Aurelia offered to her suitors were a stark contrast to the one she reserved for her dearest friend. The former were artful, a careful facade constructed to fulfill her mother’s desires and… and her own aspirations. However, the smile she bestowed upon Azucena was genuine, unburdened by ulterior motives. This smile was a rarity, glimpsed by only a select few. Azucena had the privilege of witnessing it frequently. Their bond was profound, akin to the ties of blood, and Aurelia regarded Azu as more than a friend; she was a sister. They had grown up side by side, sharing every experience life had thrown at them, and their connection was unbreakable.
Had Aurelia been more attentive, she might have discerned the unfamiliar expression on Azucena’s face. It was a look she had seen directed at others within the ton, but it had never been cast upon her. However, her attention was held captive by the prospect of sharing a moment free from the weight of the social season. The season was demanding, suffocating almost. Thankfully, Aurelia and her mother were in harmony when it came to their perspective on finding a suitable marriage this season. Their shared expectations were not the issue, but the ceaseless pressure. The entire season had been a relentless stressor, compounded by her longing for her lost memories. Today alone had brought its own set of pressures, from Lydia’s antics jeopardizing potential matches to the complex dynamics with Harrison, Ilyas, and Orp… no… there were more important… thoughts. For now, Aurelia chose to focus on her friend, even if the clock was already counting down until her next dance.
The moment Azucena pulled away from the embrace, Aurelia felt the weight of the unease that had loomed over her throughout the day. This unease was ever-present during conversations with people who knew her past, which she couldn’t recall. The tone of her old friend’s voice, as she muttered, “I have found myself alright. I had missed you, my friend,” bore a striking resemblance to the expressions of others who had conversed with her. It was as if she had unwittingly committed an unforgivable offense, akin to even the murder of one’s cherished pet. Of all the interactions she had endured, this one hurt the most. Harrison, Ilyas, and the rest didn’t truly affect her; their encounters had already slipped from her memory. Yet this, this cut deeper and left her in pain.
The conversation had faltered, and it wasn’t as effortless as it had been during their youth. Aurelia couldn’t help but wonder why. Had she, in her past, committed some grave offense that had wounded her friend? As much as she longed to recover her memories, she found herself grappling with a sense of resentment toward the person she used to be. That person, the one who had interacted with children from the Davis and Keats families without a care, the one who had fallen out of favor with her closest friend, the one who had failed to impart enough wisdom to her younger sister to prevent her from jeopardizing her own future… If that’s the person Aurelia Ellis used to be, then maybe it was better for her to never remember that girl. In her mind, that girl didn’t deserve her memories.
For a moment, Aurelia drew closer to the girl in front of her, driven by the instinct to comfort, but she restrained herself as she sensed that Azu wasn’t receptive to the interaction. With a carefully masked smile, she whispered under her breath, reaching out to her old friend for the second time. Whatever had transpired between them, surely they could work through it, couldn’t they?
“Azu, I must inquire… Is our friendship intact? Have I committed some offense that I am not aware of, which has distressed you? Your present demeanor is so unlike the past, and it appears that today I have become the subject of disapproval for many… I long for our friendship to withstand these trials.”
Aurelia’s voice carried a touch of vulnerability, a depth of emotion that her façade as a poised debutante couldn’t quite conceal. In the midst of the elegant dance, here were the authentic feelings of a woman yearning for the connections she had lost, seeking to rebuild what was fractured.