Courtship Stop #1: The Keats Estate
Orpheus fought the rising mix of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. The pull in his chest nearly left him breathless, as he desperately tried to inhale and maintain his current composure.
Orpheus felt his throat tighten, his body rejecting the prolonged eye contact Ilyas held on him.
Silent. Unmoving.
They sat that way for moment, Orpheus held his breath, knowing one more word from Ilyas would push him over the edge in this moment. The more Orpheus fought to fortify the walls of resentment, the more Ilyas’ words sought to breach them. Each shared glance and unspoken word echoed with the uncharted territory of an inexplicable pull.
One Orpheus was terrified of.
[color= #D7BBA8] “And here I thought the ton could use sprinkles of banter, courtesy of the infamous Orpheus.” [/color] Ilyas’ words seemed taunting, daring Orpheus for more. Daring him to lash out and speak out the way he had hundreds of times before. Orpheus fought his own mind, desperately biting his tongue to keep the hate from spilling from his mouth. He had no intention on participating in this verbal dance. Not today. In fact, Orpheus intended to use their alone time for something else.
As Ilyas moved, he brushed his fingers along Orpheus’ arm, sending a shockwave through his body.
Orpheus shut his eyes against the sensation, willing it away as he turned back to the table in front of him, bracing himself against it as he attempted to regain his breath.
[color= #BC0057] “I do not speak to the ton the way I speak to you…” [/color] Orpheus breathed, his brows furrowed as he spoke, watching Ilyas linger along the back wall. There was truth in his words. A sense of unburdened honesty that only their isolation could pull from him.
He watched Ilyas move through the paintings, stopping at an unfinished one, swirling with blues and blacks. It seemed to echo the tension of the moment in the depths of its colors, mimicking their own dance of words in its unfinished strokes. So much left unfinished, unsaid.
[color= #D7BBA8] “A blue jay in a dark forest, perhaps?” [/color] Ilyas asked, his gaze still fixed on Orpheus.
He felt the heat rise to his cheeks, the realization of just how alone they were sending a sudden burst of panic and fear rising inside of him. Ilyas smirk and open ended commentary seemed to drive him insane, taunting him with the possibilities.
[color= #BC0057] “Enough!” [/color] Orpheus bellowed, turning from Ilyas in exhaustion.
Orpheus clutched the table again, something solid, something stable, and he inhaled shaking breaths as he kept Ilyas out of sight.
His words were grating, always laced with flirtations and challenges that Orpheus typically had the strength to rise against, sparring until one of them conceded. It was a dance he happily hummed the melody to, the rhythm of their usual step so familiar it almost felt comforting.
Yet, there was something different about this meeting. Something intimate and isolated. Something pulling at Orpheus’ mind in a way nothing had before.
[color= #BC0057] “Enough…” [/color] Orpheus breathed, softer now, nearly pleading. He could not handle any more of whatever this was. Whatever strange hatred clouded his vision and blocked his mind. Orpheus could not function in this solitude they stood in. He could not think. He could not breathe. He could not restrain himself.
[color= #BC0057] “I have played your game long enough, Ilyas. I am tired.” [/color] Orpheus turned to him now, tears in his eyes. [color= #BC0057] “Your taunts and teases never lost on me, as I never allowed them to be, yet I cannot give you anymore. I will not.” [/color] Orpheus’ words were laced with a secret longing, a desire he held away. A pain he had long since locked from his own reach.
[color= #BC0057] “You have taken everything…and now you postulate what sits in empty swirls of empty paintings in a room alone with me, for what?” [/color] Orpheus eyes were wild, angry, confused.
[color= #BC0057] “What do you hope to gain from these endlessly exhausting interactions?” [/color] Orpheus’ breathing quickened, his heart exploding in his chest with each word that left his mouth. He felt the weight of the words lifted from his shoulders as he spoke them, a relieving sort of unburdening.
[color= #BC0057] “To feel something outside of your typical musings with others? Do they bore you? It must be that you long for something. To know I still hate you? I do. I hate you! More than anyone or anything! I hate you with each breath, each spoken word, each moment I spend in your presence makes me hate you all the more! I cannot stand being near you!” [/color] Orpheus could not hold the tears any longer, turning back to the table as they fell from his face onto the clay that sat beneath him, shattered into pieces.
How fitting.
[color= #BC0057] “Gods…” [/color] Orpheus breathed, his face in his hands for a moment. Despite everything, only Ilyas pulled emotions from him this way. Only Ilyas had seen the darkest parts of his mind and still stayed. Orpheus hated that he could not seem to push him far enough away.
[color= #BC0057] “I hate you…” [/color] Orpheus muttered again, almost to himself, a reminder.
mentioned :
Ilyas (@Madilfill)