Azucena
Azucena’s eyes lit up hearing the beautiful way Finch had with his words. Compared to scholars, his language was a poetry that could not be matched in epics nor satirizations. It moved her, and she wished that in the past she would have pursued men like him, to stay safer, calmer in life.
He, as a lifelong friend but also a fellow misfit, was one of the few people who understood the mellow vibrations of her song. Their love was best described as groggy breakfast conversation and lacing each other’s boots when they noticed the others hand come undone.
It was often a sight that other women of the ton envied, the affection they held for each other with no effort. Still, he was not the man for Azucena. There were many times she felt ungrateful for not falling for Finch, but regardless of what she did, they simply could not be for one true reason.
Instead of partnership, Azu offered him her sorority. She trusted him like a brother and a brother he was. It was her only family system where she was truly free to say the truth of her life, and did not have to hide behind that same mask everyone carried.
Just like he to her, she also knew Finch was not perfect either. Typically, she would begin to feel icy rage when a friend threatened her reputation, or acted embarrassingly enough that she threw them a look of disgust.
To her, finch was not capable of Embarassing her. If he dropped a glass of wine, she would smile and fetch him another, and if he showed emotion doubting his masculinity she would be the first to embrace him. In her mind he was not a man not permitted to cry, but the same boy she had always known, needing the comfort of a friend.
“Why thank you, Finch. I shall preserve these as long as I may.” She assured him, browsing the room for an opportunity to return the favor to a dear friend.”Would you care for a glass of water? I am sure it has been a long morning of calls for you.” She said, tending to his well being as she did.
Once again, he complimented her, indicating toward the dress she wore. She giggled a bit, overwhelmed by his thoughtful flatteries. “You are too kind, and I as well appreciate the coordination in your dress. You look handsome.” She said sweetly, wishing they could say more without mother overhearing.
Unfortunately, the conversation was not only limited by a lack of independence for the unmarried individuals, but also another surprise visitation. Her entrance door opened once more, and she heard a familiar voice. Finch eyed her, and she fought a smile as she turned in the direction of the footsteps.
As they came into the room, she bid a farewell to her friend, as this was not her preferred setting to speak with him. He nodded his head down simply, but Azucena would not have that. She tilted her head in a really? sort of way and approached him for a quick kiss on the cheek before he left. “I will see you soon, Finch.” She smiled, infinitely grateful for his support in her pursuit to marriage. So much so that they needn’t say a thing.
Finally, she left her focus on him leaving and faced Harrison, looking at her with a gaze she had never seen on him before.
His dark curls framed his face, the archetype of a true man she had always desired. His jaw had a familiarly comforting stubble to it, and his white kerchief added a messier appeal to his otherwise organized aesthetic. He looked like a love poem sealed with a kiss.
They had danced at the queens ball the night before. A part of her felt blessed to feel his touch once more. Although he had not started that way, Harrison had become someone she truly cared for, craved and needed. To let him go had been as bittersweet as sobriety, no longer viced nor troubled but at what cost?
She grew lonely, her shadow growing in the spot he once resided. She became friend to its darkness, friend of the night. It was a liberation from his prison.
But this freedom smelled of crying to the mirror because that was all she had. Azucena became another woman, a Lillith. It thrilled her in the black crow, but never when she returned home.
All of it, because of him, the bright artist to whom she tried tirelessly to become muse. How is it that one can set a garden of roses aflame, and only return to admire their ashes? If I was beautiful before, why say I am better now?
All of these feelings sat in the pit of her chest, but her mind found intrigue in his strife for redemption. It was almost laughable, how he seriously believed it possible to spark a long dead light?
Since Azucena knew better now, she also knew that he was just a silly boy. One she could wrap around her finger, at that.
He cupped her cheek, and she responded. “Does my new form entice you, Harrison?” She asked with a hint of mischief in her flirtation, looking him in the eyes as she had not done before. His hands were rough for a noble. Calloused, but soft to the touch. It was difficult not to dissolve above his palm.
To her surprise, the boy continued, picking up her hand to place a soft kiss upon it. This was when she actually noticed the gift box standing beside him, and was ever so slightly tempted to blush. This was really all for her.
A part of Azucena wondered if there was also a new version of Harrison she was meeting only now. She did not remember him being so flattering, it was refreshing to receive that attention without feeling she had to earn it. The question was if it was due to her or him.
He rose to compliment her dress, and she was reminded to remain calm. Their conversation was not an epic reunion of a great love. This was a calling during courting season and that only, so she maintained her composure, taking a breath before he faced her once more.
“Strangely, you have not.” Azucena replied coyly, then looked him down and up again with utmost confidence. “Not so bad yourself.”
Mentioned
@Caticorn finch