come what may
Conversation with Ilyas Keats and Aurelia Ellis ~ongoing~
Orpheus held Ilyas’ gaze, his face an unmoving statue against the stones of replies Ilyas threw in his direction. Ilyas’ words, like venomous arrows, were meant to wound, but Orpheus had erected a shield of apathy, refusing to grant him the satisfaction of seeing him crumble. Instead, Orpheus watched him with a cold detachment, his gaze unwavering, waiting patiently for Ilyas’ departure.
Perhaps it was the presence of Aurelia at his back, but Orpheus felt a cool sense of sober composure briefly wash over him as he stood his ground, silently.
Orpheus became a pillar of unyielding indifference, refusing to allow Ilyas’ word to sink more than surface deep.
The scratch of a rose’s thorn.
The skin-deep kind of cuts he had felt dozens of times before as he tended to his garden.
The sharp ache of striking the wrong chord in a tune.
He knew the sound well.
The sound of a man grasping for himself. Facing the hundreds of cuts of roses, the ear splitting pain of wrong notes, and wielding the sharpest of tongues in response. Ilyas was a man who feigned composure even under the most crushing of pressures. Orpheus knew that pain well too.
Ilyas finished his quick-witted quips in response, seemingly loitering about, waiting for another harsh reply from Orpheus. Ilyas’ words rolled off Orpheus’ chest as easily as the tears had fallen from his eyes earlier.
Yet, as he left, Orpheus felt his jaw clench, the rush of fiery hatred creeping its way back into his every muscle, burning his cheeks.
A smirk?
A wink?
Was Lord Keats so shameless and brazen that he would continue his disrespect even upon exiting?
Orpheus watched him carefully, his eyes tracing Ilyas’ every move. The slow burn of emotion continued as a brush of wind whispered past him upon Ilyas’ departure that left a cold sort of emptiness in its wake. A desire to return to the fight he had ignited, an urge to finish what he had started rose within him yet again.
Yet, he stood still.
His jaw clenched, his face red with emotion, his body tense, his anger lingering in the air like an unfinished symphony.
He stood that way for what seemed like forever.
That is, until he heard a small voice pick up behind him: Aurelia. Had he forgotten she was there? Momentarily, it seemed he had, yet his attention shot back to the girl he knew all too well, turning to meet her gaze as she spoke.
“We… Orpheus we… why did you not… you let me come out here and ramble about the stars and the heavens and your family and we… courted? I’m… I did not mean to… I can not remember Orpheus I’m… I was not trying to hurt you I just… I had an accident… and my mind… my mind is broken Orpheus. I cannot… remember anything of my past. I just… I know we were friends… close friends… I just…” Aurelia stumbled through her words as if grasping at them in her own mind, piece by piece.
As Orpheus looked on at her, her face a mix of confusion and stunned pain, the alcoholic swirl of guilt and torment returned to him. A twinge of something that had been festering in his heart, a pain that ran so deep it nearly brought him to his knees. Tears welled in his eyes as he attempted to fight them, refusing to cry in front of her.
He had always refused. For if there was one person who Orpheus would never stumble in front of, it was her. Aurelia demanded strength from him, and he had always been happy to give it. Where she needed a friend, he became the best of ones. Where she needed a protector, he became her sword and her shield. Where she needed a lover, he had opened his chest, and handed her his heart, raw and bleeding.
He had given her the world, and yet here she stood, pieces of their time together forever lapsed in her mind, her face riddled with a kind of torment he could not save her from this time.
And it killed him.
More than any insult or punch or betrayal ever had.
Watching her now, was a torture he had not known until this point. A pain that resonated so deeply he could feel it’s haunting notes reverberating through his chest, the echo reminding him of the hollowness there. The space where his heart once sat. The heart he had handed her.
Still, Orpheus fought the tears with each breath, each blurred glimpse in her eyes, each empty beat of his aching, bleeding heart, he held them back.
Orpheus stepped closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her cheek to quiet her words.
[color= #BC0057] “Sh…” [/color] Orpheus cooed softly, trying to soothe her. [color= #BC0057] “You never need to apologize to me. Do you understand? Never.” [/color] Orpheus’ words carried a gentleness that held the desires of months of longing and loss.
[color= #BC0057] “Are you alright? He did not hurt you, did he?” [/color] Orpheus looked her over, his eyes holding a genuine concern and worry that echoed the love he felt for her.
Every ounce of his being had held back, had kept her at a distance tonight. For fear of backlash. For fear of others. For fear of rejection.
Orpheus had played the moment of their reunion time and time again in his head, searching for the perfect words, the perfect glance, the perfect explanation.
Each day without her had felt like an eternity, and the pain of her absence gnawed at his heart with a rabid ferocity. Their time together had served as daggers, digging and twisting in his mind with each passing moment they were apart. Her memory tormenting him with the reality of his lonely wanderings in the world. He was a boat, set adrift, sinking slowly in a lake, desperately looking for a light to float toward again.
And now here she stood, with him, the idea of his perfectly planned reunion crashing in a champagne-tinged blur of emotion. The words of his explanation had exited in a fit of rage rather than the charming splendor of the moonlit walk that he had originally planned for them.
As they stood, Orpheus’ hand never leaving her cheek, his eyes searching hers for something more, something there once was, a gentle pull tugged at him. A desire to close the gap between them that had lingered for far too long. The woman he loved, just within reach, yet a chasm of unspoken emotion stretched between them that ran so deeply Orpheus feared they may never cross.
As he gazed into her eyes, the longing to hold her in his arms grew too overwhelming to ignore. Despite the possibility of lingering eyes, Orpheus could not hold back from his desire any longer. He had longed for her closeness, the gentle scent of her perfumed hair brushing his neck, the gentle touch he had so adored, the comforting thump of her steady heart humming into his own empty chest.
With a shaking hand, he dropping the cusp of her cheek and pulled her into a long embrace, the months of pain simmering away as he held her.
[color= #BC0057] “I’m so sorry…” [/color] Orpheus whispered, grappling with the sobs in his chest. [color= #BC0057] “I should have been here for you sooner…I should have explained…It’s all my fault…I should hav-” [/color] Orpheus’ voice broke, tears finally spilling down his cheeks, his hand moving to wipe them behind her back before she could register their presence.
The pain of those months of separation melted away, the dullness of his existence seemingly igniting in color once again as he held her. It was as if a piece of him had gone with her and their reunion had made him whole again.
[color= #BC0057] “I have missed you…” [/color] Orpheus’ voice was hoarse and strained. There was a strange mix of lingering pain and relief that swirled in his already unsteady mind. [color= #BC0057] “More than you could possibly know.” [/color] Orpheus held her tighter, the fear of her slipping away from him again becoming ever present as he became of aware of their need for physical separation.
Orpheus stood a moment, relishing in her embrace, in his ability to hold her once more. A tangible, real feeling that could not be swept into the waters or blown away with the wind. She was here. Finally.
He collected himself, stifling his tears, and attempting to clear his head as he pulled back to look at her once again.
[color= #BC0057] “I will explain…everything. I promise. I will try. In time.” [/color] Orpheus attempted to offer a small smile, his lips twinging with a subtle pain as he forced the look. She needed a smile, and what Aurelia needed, Orpheus became. A simple sentence that contained a promise long overdue on its fulfillment.
[color= #BC0057] “But tonight…” [/color] Orpheus trailed off, fighting the urge to reach out to her again. [color= #BC0057] “Has been unexpectedly difficult for us both. Let us take a respite now. For months I have longed for nothing more than to sit under the stars with you once more, and here I am causing a scene instead of enjoying our reunion as it should be enjoyed, together.” [/color] Orpheus’ smile grew more genuine as he studied her features. Her soft nose. Her raven hair. Her rounded cheeks. Everything had been just as he remembered them. As the months lingered on, her image faded from his grasp, and he would not waste a second recommitting each curve of her face to memory.
[color= #BC0057] “You…look lovely…” [/color] The lull of the alcohol suddenly yanked at him again, the adrenaline of his fight with Ilyas wearing thin. [color= #BC0057] “Have I told you…you put the stars to shame, my lady.” [/color] Orpheus’ head was a clouded mess of noise yet again, the lights too bright, the midnight owl too loud, the air too crisp, Aurelia too beautiful.
Orpheus could feel the dark pull of his mind threatening to take him somewhere he no longer desired to be, no longer needed to be, now that Aurelia had returned.
He looked down at her with adoration pouring from every glance between her eyes. He darted between both, his lips curling in a smile, he did not want to miss one fragment of her expression. Orpheus resisted the burning urge in his fingers to reach out to hers. To connect them physically so that he might ground himself back into reality, to prove to his darkening mind, that there was light yet again in the form of his best friend.
And she shined so brightly, not even the hundreds of distant glimmers could hold a candle to her glow. She was a lone star. The brightest of them all. And Orpheus would not lose sight of her again.
mentioned:
Aurelia (@benitz786)
Ilyas (@Madilfill)