“Jamie, come on. Stop moping or we’re gonna be late.”
Jamie groaned as he sat up on his bed after his sister Dakota banged on his door. School was the last place he wanted to go. Where she would be. It hadn’t even been a week that they’d been back in school, the place she was everywhere.
They’d barely talked since the competition. She kept pulling away, and it hurt to keep trying. Even being in the same room was hard. Maybe if he was better with his words, if he could say something to make her understand. Maybe if he was better at understanding her. Maybe things wouldn’t have happened the way they did.
Reluctantly, he grabbed his school bag and made his way down to the kitchen, where his sister stood not so patiently waiting. “Brekkie, take it or leave it,” she said, gesturing to the eggos on the counter, before grabbing the keys and heading out to the car.
Minutes later, Jamie found himself in the passenger seat, fidgeting with one of the rings he was wearing, and silently eating his breakfast, imagining that he was going anywhere that wasn’t school.
“I really think you should just talk to her.”
“Stay out of it, Dakota.”
“Seriously, I’m sure if you just talk to her, apologize for whatever you might’ve said, you two can work it out. Then you two will be back to your usual, always together and you’ll finally stop.. whatever this is.” Dakota always claimed she could tell whenever Jamie and Charlotte had an argument, or if something happened. She said he always seemed out of it, or “especially mopey” if there was something going on.
“I said, stay out of it Dakota. It’s none of your business.”
“Goddddd, why do you have to be so dramatic?”
“Dakota!”
“Fine, fine. I just think you should talk to her, but its your choice.”
“Just drive.” Jamie couldn’t listen to his sister talk about her. His head was enough of a mess as it was without Dakota forcing him to think about her, talking about what he did wrong, but he hadn’t done anything wrong.
She did. She was the one who had put the distance between them. He was hurt and angry, but he would’ve gotten over it and just rolled over and forgiven her, let her do whatever she wanted, like he always did. But maybe he still should. Maybe all he needed to do was go up to her with a smile and act like everything was the same as it always had been, that the past was the past and it was a new day.
He was going to talk to her. In that moment, when he saw her that morning in the hallway, her talking to someone with her beautifully bright smile, he truly intended to go talk to her. Then they made eye contact for the briefest of moments, and she turned away.
She was the one pushing him away. He was the one who was always there for her, who always put himself second to her, but when he actually wanted something and knew what he felt, she knowingly hurt him and pulled away. She didn’t even seem to understand what she was doing to him. Why couldn’t she just understand?
He needed space. He found himself in the theater room, at that point all alone. He spent time writing in his notebook, even as later on others came in, soon clustered around Charlotte herself. She still didn’t even try to talk to him, so he stayed to himself writing, trying not to think about the girl who comprised most of his thoughts and how she was talking to everyone there but him. He didn’t know how long it had been before someone came up to him. Unfortunately, it was not the Blackwell he truly wanted it to be.
In the past Jamie had gotten along well enough with Samuel. They weren’t friends exactly, but their relationship wasn’t entirely antagonistic, they just tended to not be around each other when it wasn’t necessary through theater, class, or Charlotte. “And here I was thinking you wouldn’t show now that she’s here.” he said, glancing in Charlotte’s direction. Just for a moment, anything longer would be “You might as well just go already, when you know she’ll make the lead.” There was no doubt in Jamie’s mind about her becoming lead, which would complicate Samuel’s bid for male lead. At least something would stop the blatant favoritism that pushed him to get the lead every single time. Jamie had his music separate from theater, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be lead just as often. Granted, if he was lead with Charlotte, it would be complicated, but at the same time maybe it would be the push they needed to go back to normal.