I’m tired. Of this activism. You guys suck. Hyping up BLM then forgetting about it like it was a joke. Some sick joke. Joking about Breonna Taylor’s death. Karen’s calling the police on black children selling water. Getting offended over some people having a barbecue just because they’re black. A black babysitter babysitting white kids. Using the n word. The c word. Basically any racial slur. Calling black people monkeys. It’s not that hard not to be racist but somehow people still fail.
WTF!!! Wow that’s so uncalled for!! That’s some victim blaming sh*t! I’d feel uncomfortable too if I was in that situation!
About that annoying boy, he has been told many times to leave me alone! Don’t worry, tomorrow I’ll be at the gym waiting for him so I can whoop his scrawny butt! Seriously, he needs to get a life that isn’t harassing me or any other girl at the gym. Good thing the gym guys come to my rescue, I just hope he got fired after yesterday’s fiasco.
Today I went and I was so relieved that he wasn’t there. But hopefully he’s not there tomorrow, I’m ready to confront the fool. I won’t stop going to the gym because of him, I’ll annoy him with my blunt ar*e!
Today just got worst at the gym for me. This woman was just as bad as the boy that was annoying me, she was talking to me while I was focusing on my workout and she pretended not to see the fact that I got my music on. Ugh!! I’m reporting both of them to the gym staff!
So I was watching this instagram vid and all of a sudden I heard hedwig’s theme so I screamed and ran across the house because I thought someone was watching harry potter. Then I realized the music was literally coming from my phone wtf is wrong with me lmaoo
I’m starting to document stuff other than my attempts because I’ve been noticing a pattern with my emotions and feelings, then the next thing you know, I relapse. I keep track of the dates now.
Ramble 2:
I really didn’t understand how mentally ill I was until today. I wasn’t expecting my condition to be that bad but now -
It’s probably a good idea for me to finally go to a therapist I swear -
I really can’t believe that I’m now realizing that my mental health was waaaaaaay worse than I thought it was. I honestly feel kinda gross just thinking about it. And I seem to be getting better but worse at the same time? I really don’t know how to look at it. I’ve stopped attempting a while ago but now I’m constantly h*rming myself, idfk what to do! I swear one day I’m gonna put myself in a hospital.
Mouschi You don’t have to go through any of this alone, mkay? I’m here for you if you need it and my pms are always open if you need to vent or just chat
Hun. I’m in that boat too. You’re constantly fighting with your mind and it won’t shut up. The only thing that gives you a temporary relief is self h*rm. Please know that you are not alone and a lot are going through the very exact thing. My DMS are always open if you need to vent. X
I hate trolls! I hate those type of trolls who go around “educating” people but they actually use it to bully. You tell them that something they say is offensive but they tell you that it’s a joke and to stop being “pressed”. Then they have the audacity to screenshot the stuff you say to stick up for yourself and the parts which make you look bad.
Oh and here’s something else I hate about that “educate” group. They will cancel you for literally anything and I mean ANYTHING! BLM is not an excuse to go around cancelling white people! That’s not what the movement is about!
I want school to be over already but I don’t want go home and see my parents after the sh*t they pulled yesterday which made me h-rm myself in the first place. My parents think they’re so entitled, yesterday my dad pissed me off so much I grabbed something from behind me and smacked him with it. I didn’t even do it that hard and he wanted to kick my ass and take away my internet for it! They’re so fcking sensitive, they wanted me to apologize for it. Hell no am I doing that. Did they apologize when they beat me multiple times until I was bruised and crying when I was kid? No they did not. I didn’t even do anything that serious for him to want to beat me until I was bleeding. Fcking hell man, just because you’re my parents doesn’t make you so entitled. You p*ssed me off and then made my mood even worse, what the hell did you expect? I was angry and then you kept touching me and asking why I was mad, it’s not my fault. You to made me want to stab myself twice in the same day and you want me to fcking apologize?!
I sometimes feel like I want to disappear and just take time away from things and forums and friends and all so I can just brood in peace in my room or idk
But I don’t even have anything else to do I don’t have any actual friends i can talk to outside the forums I can’t find anything to do with my spare time.
It just really bothers me sometimes I guess…
I just feel like a pointless person with a pointless life
I woke up really early while I only slept at 5, cause I thought I had at 8:20, but I was wrong and my class doesn’t actually start until 11. Meaning I could have slept 3 more hours but now I can’t fall back asleep…
I’m here for you if you need someone to pm just so you know 
