So I see this commonly. I see or hear people lose friends when things get hard for them.
When they are down and need someone, those “friends” just can’t ever seem to be there. Or they tell you it’s too much or bringing them down (even if it’s a small thing you need a shoulder to lean on, they close their eyes and act blind) or they tell you “get over it” “just be happy” and when you try and it doesn’t work and you express that, they leave.
Now there are good reasons why a friend should be able to leave someone’s life due to extreme circumstances or that person is toxic, but I am referring to the people who leave someone as a friend for something generally understandable on why you would need help but they don’t want to understand. They don’t want to help. They only want to be “friends” with that person when nothing goes wrong.
They might typically gaslight you, victim-blame, etc.
So, lets talk about this. Have you had “friends” like these? What are your experiences with these type of people?
Yes, I have. She would tell me bad things about my friends, cutting me off from all of them. She did it because sHe WaNtEd To bE cOoL
Also this went on for 2 years
Those are called fair weather friends, because they only stay with you when things are good.
Oh, my “friend” wasn’t a Fair Weather Friend
Yeah, that’s just gaslighting.
It happened to me a few months ago.
I cried to my friend, thinking she would understand my problem, but she basically told me to “get over it” and that it was no big deal.
It took me months to get over that situation, and I’ve forgiven her and everything, but it was a very unpleasant experience.
Maybe not a lot, but it has happened more than once with different people.
A few years ago, a co-worker swore up and down that she was my friend, and that she wanted to help me become ‘the best teacher ever’, and that we had to stick together because we had the same values. Since she had the same kids I had the previous year in first grade (except my nephew because he was living in the US when he was in first grade), she knew what worked with them and what didn’t.
But as soon as the principal didn’t think I was doing a good job at handling discipline, this co-worker kind of started ignoring me and leaving me out of conversations.
And one day, I was having a really bad day and instead of being supportive, she just said, ‘Don’t let other people see you cry, or they will judge you’.
i never even had friends to begin with
Yeah sometimes some friends only wanna be there for the good and happy times. To an extent I understand, they may be shielding their own mental health and I’d never ask anyone to sacrifice their feelings for mine. It can still hurt though.