“You’re what?” The way she asked this, shocked, Dave realized she was unhappy with this turn of events. He was starting to wonder if the kiss meant something to her just on that one occassion? Or did she just say it meant something to hurt her husband?
Still her reaction and her mood today didn’t disuade him from telling her how he feels. Her response made Dave guestion if telling her was the right decision. “Dave. You don’t just drop that on someone and then brush it off. Do you have any idea what that kiss did to me? What it’s still doing to me.” She said. Dave previously thought she might want to keep the information of the kiss silent, so realizing they weren’t alone he tried to not make it gossiped about. It was the same reason he told her the kiss didn’t mean much to him … To protect her.
He didn’t realize saying it like that, even though his reasoning is sound to him, hurts her even more than the gossip would’ve. “Yes … I do have an idea of what it did to you … Because I believe it did the same to me. You think it’s not still on my mind?” He looked at her, a mixture of guilt and passion in his expression. He was guilty to say what he wants to her, and it coming out so wrong it hurts her, but he doesn’t know how to rephrase it or say it as sweetly as he means it. The passion in his eyes was brought on only by the memory of the kiss by her presence here.
He was desperate to come coser to her, but he sensed if he approached her now that her mood was off any feelings she might’ve had towards him would be killed of by that mood. So he steered clear of embracing her or even touching a hair on her. “You can’t just waltz in here, tell me you’re replacing the lead actor, confess that-” In a moment of fierceness she stumbled over her words and it left Dave feeling even more guilty. “- that, and act like it’s no big deal.” Her voice was a bit shaken and Dave wanted to get out of the room to avoid looking her in the face when her expression was so unhappy. He didn’t want to make her any more so and that’s why he kept silent for a while, gathering how he could tell her anything withouth sounding like a jerk or an idiot. " You said it didn’t mean anything. I told myself I had to believe you because it was the only way I could move forward." That sentence gave Dave the idea she might’ve wanted to forget anything she could have with him in order to save her marriage.
He wanted to tell her why he told the make up artist a lie, but decided to let it be. It already sounds like she wanted to forget him, and he could tell it brought pain to confess to her, and he didn’t want to see that expression on her face. If it was simpler for her to forget, he would play his part and let her be happy with her husband, and play the role of the apathetic one time fling.
And now you’re here, telling me the opposite. So what am I supposed to do with that, Dave?" Dang it. He already failed what he set out to do, having done nothing, just stared at her. He thought for a tense second. He just nodded, wanted to start explaining himself or suggest they go somewhere private to talk, but she spoke up. “I can’t do this right now.” He spoke up, cutting her off . “Neither can I. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret later. Not with you.” She continued talking. “We have a job to do. So let’s just… focus on that. Whatever this is, we can figure it out later.”
Dave nodded and asked the makeup artist if he was all done. She confirmed he was and he turned to walk in the direction of the set. The awkward bit was that she was walking in the same direction. The silence was deafening, but definitely necessary. Dave kept telling himself not to say anything, that it’s not a good idea. Yet his impulsive stupid little mouth ran off saying “It did mean something … It meant I needed to break up with my girlfriend because if we had more passion, then who would believe me an Helen had anything between us?” As always, he regretted saying it immediately. In fact, his mind went ‘Nooooooo’ as the first word left his mouth. Thinking about it a second later he figured it was for the best.
He didn’t know if she wanted him to stay out of her life or to tell her how much she meant to him, and she seemed unhappy with either possibility, so he figured by saying that he’d distance himself, and let her believe it so she can move forward, like she wants to. It’ll save her a lot of hurt from him in the long run, ripping the bandaid off right now.
I miss you
