[color="plum”]”Nooo. You have to start from the very beginning,”[/color] his sixteen-year-old daughter laughing and shaking her head was on a flight to Los Angeles and her first big audition. Who would’ve thought this girl would want to be an actress? Many people probably… yes. She made that pretty clear. And would you be surprised if I told you Dorian was right there next to, slouched in the seat? You wouldn’t, but no, he wasn’t there just because of that, he was going to visit his old teammate… That didn’t mean Zoe was not that same old little daddy’s girl she used to be. She was, and she loved this very moment they were sharing on that long flight. A movie was playing in front of them, one of those old rom coms Zoe adores but they were both ignoring it. [color="lightsteelblue”]”You know that part, your mom loved to tell you stories and you all loved them. I’m sure how we met was one of them,”[/color] and it was. Zoe does remember stories her mom used to tell her and her siblings and she always loved hearing about her parents’ adventures when they were younger but Dorian was never good with that. Stories were not his thing. [color="plum”]”Fiiiine, fine, but then tell me about mom aaaand everything she never told me,”[/color] and now that they were alone and had so much time to waste, Zoe wanted to hear more about the relationship of her parents she always adored. All the details of ending up with five siblings… Just a result of being surrounded with so much love growing up. [color="lightsteelblue”]”I’m sure she told you everything you need to know,”[/color] Dorian looked at his daughter, trying to hide his playful smile. She was resting on her side, with her old teddy she got from her dad in her hands, staring up at him with a forced frown. That teddy was still one of her favorite belongings especially on days like this - flights that made her nervous, audition that will soon make her more nervous. A little piece of childhood that would always comfort her. ”Come on daddy, I’m not little anymore. I want your side of those stories and I’m sure she hasn’t told me everyyything.”
[color="lightsteelblue”]”Then ask me whatever you want to know,”[/color] Dorian answered after some time of simply looking at Zoe, crossing his arms and making himself more comfortable. It was a matter of time before she demanded to know everything and with three hours of their flight left, what else were they supposed to do? It’s not like Dorian never wanted to talk about this with his kids. [color="plum”]”How did you fall in love with her?”[/color] [color="lightsteelblue”]”How did I-”[/color] a loud chuckle escaped his lips, seeing his daughter rolling her eyes at that. But really…. how, when did that happen? [color="lightsteelblue”]”I always loved your mom, and you can’t tell her this - I thought she was the prettiest girl I know. But she didn’t deserve to find that out after everything she put me through like that time she dyed my hair… You know how she was so proud of that, plus she was my best friend.”[/color] [color="plum”]”You can be in love with your best friend,”[/color] Zoe’s statement made Dorian look back at her with a raised, questioning brow. A moment of silence between them. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Do you-”[/color] [color="plum”]”This is not about me!! You didn’t answer my question!”[/color] The look Dorian had was replaced with a smile that said fine. [color="lightsteelblue”]”I didn’t really understand what I was feeling then…”[/color] [color="plum”]”Mom said you had a girlfriend then,”[/color] [color="lightsteelblue”]”Did she also tell you how she kissed me while we were both in different relationships?”[/color] ”Wh-NO.” Zoe shocked expression mixed with entertainment discovering this little piece of her parents’ past made Dorian start laughing, shaking his head as he thought back to that day.
Flashback
A simple day Dorian thought would never end with him going to a college party and ending up making out with his best friend. How could they just say no to that invitation? How could Dorian ever say no to doing something with Jessica? It was not possible, no matter how much he hated some of her ideas and things she would make him do… there was really nothing else he’d rather be doing, nothing that would make him happier. So here they were, finishing their game of strip poker when someone mentioned 7 minutes in heaven. ”We are not doing that,” leaning in closer to Jess, he whispered with his hand casually placed on her back. Strip poker was one thing but this… it was a fun game, that he couldn’t deny and since they were both a bit tipsy it shouldn’t really be that big of a problem, but he knew they were both in relationships and they shouldn’t be doing this. Before he could add anything else, and drag her away from this group of people or let’s call them their new friends, they were already dragged into the game. This was a moment when Dorian wished Lyonrad would show up… he said he might drop by later and if he did, that would probably get them both out of this situation… But why was it so important to Dorian for this not to happen? A bad feeling maybe? Not wanting to be stuck with a random girl while he had a girlfriend. Not wanting to watch hi-… Not wanting to watch his best friend spend 7 minutes with some stranger… when he had to watch her every day with Lyonrad. No… it was not that, that was silly. He respected her relationship and was… happy for her?
But nothing was stopping them and soon he found himself in a closet with Jessica. His friend he had absolutely no feelings for. He couldn’t. It was just not possible, right? Silly thoughts. Unlike Jessica, Dorian was too sober for this situation so the only thing he could say was, ”We’re not doing this.” He even laughed at how ridiculous this was until he heard her say that rules are rules. Unaware that what was about to happen will be all he’ll crave in her future. His best friend’s arms around him, her lips on his. At first he froze, feeling her arms around his neck, pulling him down but then he let that innocent kiss turn into something more. He let himself enjoy that moment, confused with how that was making him feel. Not knowing that this was what had to happen for him to realize that he was in love with his best friend. That he always was. That same confusion making him let her believe that those marks she had on her neck the next day came from her boyfriend, and not him.
End of flashback
[color="plum”]”Why didn’t you tell her what happened?”[/color] Looking as if she heard the juiciest secret, Zoe almost yelled at her dad. She enjoyed this story, enjoyed this conversation she was having with him and now there was nothing that could draw her attention away from that, Dorian was well aware of that. [color="lightsteelblue”]”I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t really the best situation and seeing she was pretending not to rem-”[/color] [color="plum”]”She was pretending? And you knew that?”[/color] [color="lightsteelblue”]”No… I found out four years later,”[/color] that was the moment when his smile faltered, remember everything that happened in those four years. That… wasn’t something he was willing to speak about with his kids. It meant he’d have to talk about his actions and the way he was towards their mom but that… that was something he was ashamed of. He didn’t want his kids to look at him a different way but it was a big part of their lives. His relationship with his wife. So at least he had to mention it. ”After that your mom left town without saying anything to anyone… I haven’t seen her in four years after that and it’s not a secret I wasn’t mad at her. I guess just felt betrayed and hurt… she was the only person making me happy and she left me like that. But she had her reasons. She had good reasons and you can’t blame her for that. You know your mom loves family more than anything and she needed to help your aunt. That’s one of many things I love about her. She would do anything for them and you, all of us. You know… you’re lucky to have such a wonderful mom,” a soft smile appeared on his lips, shifting his gaze to the tiny window and letting the silence take over for a moment.
[color="lightsteelblue”]”Before I realized I was a complete assh0le there were a few times I was stuck with her against my will. We almost spent the night in a cell because of your mom, she also jumped out of my car when I wanted to take her home one night… no, she actually crawled out of the window and it was pouring outside-”[/color] [color="plum”]”SLOW down. You two went to jail together? When- how did that happen?”[/color] Back then, he hated that day… hated thinking about it and remembering how he was feeling in that cell with his cousin and Mikel. A mole in that happy group. But now… when everything was perfectly fine, that only made him laugh. [color="lightsteelblue”]”We had a family dinner and of course Jess had to be there because, as you know, she was family… Your grandma made me drive her home but we ended up being pulled over because I was driving too fast and your mom got into a fight with that cop… That’s the story.”[/color] [color="plum”]”Should I be surprised mom did that?”[/color] Laughing with her dad, Zoe was now resting her head on his shoulder. [color="lightsteelblue”]”We both know an answer to that question… That other thing I mentioned- your mom was unfortunately drunk and I ended up getting the call to pick her up from a bar. And… no matter how mad I was I could never let anything happen to her. You don’t do that to people you love and I never stopped loving her. It’s hard dealing with that emotion when you still feel so hurt… but I once again ended up driving her home when she decided to crawl out of the window of my moving car and just lay on the grass.”[/color] [color="plum”]”What did you do?”[/color] [color="lightsteelblue”]”I joined her. That was the night we kissed for the second time and once again pretended like it never happened- no,noo, I think she was actually ignoring me.”[/color] ”Was mom mean to you then?” [color="lightsteelblue”]”No, she never was. She tried her best but… you would’ve hated me if you knew me back then.”[/color] It’s a funny thing but he was the type of a guy he didn’t want his daughters being around. He didn’t like his daughters being around guys in general but that’s not something he could control… The only thing he could do is act as if he was this overprotective, tough guy whenever they would bring someone home. [color="lightsteelblue”]”I haven’t talked to her at all before our camping trip. That’s when we-”[/color] Clearing his throat, Dorian shifted in his seat trying to avoid that conversation even if Zoe would’ve loved to hear all about their time in the lake. She wouldn’t care that it was weird hearing her parents’ sex story. It’s a normal thing… [color="lightsteelblue”]”We forgave each other and were slowly going back to the place we were once at.”[/color] ”But you weren’t dating?” Zoe straightened up, noticing her dad was not saying something but she was too busy trying to grasp this mess of a story to ask him what he wasn’t telling her.
[color="lightsteelblue”]”No. That happened when we were about to finish high school.”[/color] Now smiling again, the memories of those first times he could let himself feel love for her again came back to him. There was a whole part of their relationship he skipped - Kai, Jess getting stabbed after disappearing again… After that man treated her so badly. If you were still confused with why Dorian hated Kai - that was why. That night Jessica came to him crying and then disappearing. Getting stabbed when she came back. Everything could’ve been avoided but that’s not a story for their kids. At least Dorian would never give them that “satisfaction” of knowing the name of a man who hurt their mom. [color="lightsteelblue”]”She was in the hospital because she got hurt-”[/color] [color="plum”]”What happe-”[/color] [color="lightsteelblue”]”She just broke her leg, nothing bad. And I finally asked her on our very first, official date and… It was the worst date of my life,”[/color] just like everything else, it wasn’t funny back then but now it is. And seeing his daughter looking at him with eyes full of curiosity, he continued. [color="lightsteelblue”]”The whole universe was working against me that day, I swear. Everything that could’ve gone wrong, gone wrong. And the fact that your mom couldn’t walk only made it worse.”[/color] ”What did you do?”
Flashback
Do you know when was the last time Dorian actually planned a date? Actually cared about it? That never happened until now. And he has never felt so nervous… It shouldn’t really be a big deal, Jess was his friend and they’ve done a lot of things together and this shouldn’t be any different… But it was. It was a date. A fcking date. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Hi,”[/color] leaning against the door frame, a smile appeared on his lips the moment he met her eyes. “So I see you have no food in your hand which is an automatic strike in the bad dates column,” But that smile for a second faltered as he rolled his eyes and walked over to the bed to give his friend a hug. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Since when do you care about food?”[/color] An attempt to joke hoping that their little banters would make him less nervous, but there was another thing that distracted him from that - them bumping their heads. That happens… it’s nothing. It’s funny. Haha. If nothing, it gave them something to joke about. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Wait, you… still can’t walk,”[/color] trying to hide his cheeky smile, Dorian pointed at the wheelchair. [color="lightsteelblue”]”That changes my plans….”[/color] Her reaction, throwing her tongue out at him made him finally chuckle to himself as he stood up, holding his hands out for her. ”Come on now, before I change my mind about this,” his stupid smile softened the moment Jessica was up on her feet and so close to him, a second of him just looking down at her. After so many years, things were finally going back to the way they were. And were even getting better. He wanted this to be perfect. This had to be perfect.
This was not perfect.
He just had to get het wheelchairs stuck and struggle with it for a couple of minutes, refusing to ask for help literally anyone around him. Got mad when someone helped them because that was supposed to be him and was now standing in front of his car, trying to fix it because it. Wouldn’t. Start. Why was that happening? Fck if he knew that. Was this the universe trying to tell him “nah, you were awful, you don’t deserve her”? Probably. All signs were pointing to that. “Everything okay?” Dorian heard Jess’s voice, taking in a deep breath before answering. ”Yeah… Kind of. Don’t worry,” don’t worry… Nothing was fine. He cursed to himself so many times while trying to figure out what was wrong with his car but in the end he couldn’t. The only thing he could really do is call someone for help and that resulting in the waiting for an hour for someone to show up. So now that he could finally drive again everything was supposed to be good again…. No. It was only getting worse and worse. And Jessica talking about anything that came to her mind surely didn’t help because Dorian was p!ssed. He had this cute plan of getting food from different place and taking her to their spot but either the restaurants didn’t have that or Dori and Jess would get the wrong order. If the next place they go to doesn’t have the food they want he’ll- “Hey… it’s okay love,” a simple touch of her hand calming him down just a little bit. An attempt to smile at her and believe in her words. How can this be okay? It was a disaster.
Remember the universe hating him thought? Yeah, now he was 100% sure of it. Once they finally arrived to their spot at the lake, Dorian was in the middle of carrying Jess to the blanket he set before it flew away. His attempt of catching it was a big failure so the two of them ended up sitting on the grass once he got the food out of the car. It was not that bad… it was just a blanket. Sure, he was annoyed but after his car not working and the mess with the food, this was nothing… Deep down he was stressed because of this whole situation and as much as he wanted to just let it go and enjoy this very moment, it was hard. He couldn’t lie. And he knew his bad mood was only making it worse because once again Jessica was the only one talking, trying to save this date. Which… helped. As a kid he’d get annoyed every time she’d open her mouth because it meant he was in for stupid, irrelevant comments but now, now he could listen to her talking about anything. It did calm him down - her little jokes, stories of her life in London followed by a slap when he’d try to steal her fries. And that was it… This is what their date was supposed to be like. He’d lean back, plopping himself up on his elbows and with a sweet smile just look at her. Listen. Let those old, pushed-down feelings free. ”I’m happy we’re here,” Dorian quietly started, his features soft. There were so many things he could’ve said, wanted to say but before he got a chance out of nowhere it started to rain. No. It started to pour… once again there was something ruining this day. Ruining their food. The whole mood. And being the last straw.
Dorian immediately straighten up, his hands now covering his face as if that was somehow supposed to help with the anger he was feeling. Like that would stop him from exploding… It did not. Almost yelling, [color="lightsteelblue”]”You have to be fcking kidding me,”[/color] Dorian got up kicking the ground. Walking away from Jess and cursing to himself. Why did everything have to go this way? Wasn’t one thing enough? Could he not do something nice for once and be a sweet guy? Could he not be happy for one day? Felling Jess’s arms around him, he let out a breath, closing his eyes. [color="lightsteelblue”]”This was supposed to be perfect… it just,”[/color] felling her hands on the sides of his face, he opened his eyes to look at her, a mix of sadness and frustration visible in them. Up until now he didn’t even think about how she got there to him, possibly struggled since she still had trouble walking, so he immediately wrapped his arms around her for support while listening to her talking about how it didn’t have to be perfect and other excuses. [color="lightsteelblue”]”This was awf-”[/color] But before he could finish what he started, Jess asked for his phone and once she got it, she played a song and asked him to dance. At this point he was tired of everything… too tired to protest or question what she was doing so he simply held her tightly against him. They simply moved in the rain and he just listened to her like he’s been doing this whole day. A comment that he got better at this finally making him weakly smile. ”I worked hard, thank you,” jokingly adding, his voice quiet, Dorian gently kissed her cheek before the blanket that betrayed him brushed against his leg. It was soaked but so were they, so he laid it out and that’s how their date ended. With them sitting again next to each other and this time doing something more than just talking.
End of flashback
* * *
Standing outside waiting for Dorian’s old friend to pick them up and drive them to a hotel, Zoe now knew almost the whole story of her parents. After telling her about the date, Dorian told her about everything that happened after - their breakup, his lost chance to propose, different partners, and then their first baby, Shay. [color="plum”]”What if she ended up marrying that guy?”[/color] Confusion washed over his face, looking at his daughter and at first not understanding what she was trying to ask. It’s been an hour of them not talking about it but here she was, starting the conversation again. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Trevor? Well, then you wouldn’t be here now, would you?”[/color] Laughing, Dorian shook his head, taking out his phone to check the time or see if he had a missed call from his friend only to be met with Zoe’s serious expression once he looked up again. [color="plum”]”That’s not what I’m asking… Would you-”[/color] [color="lightsteelblue”]”Would I try to ruin her marriage?”[/color] Zoe stayed silent, just looking at her father. Yes, that was her question but she meant to ask him in a nicer way. [color="lightsteelblue”]”I made a lot of mistakes, and letting your mom walk away from me that first time was the biggest one.”[/color] Holding onto the suitcase as he turned to face Zoe, now he was the serious one. [color="lightsteelblue”]”But if I saw that she was happy with him… I would never take that away from her… Would I be selfish enough to hope that it doesn’t work out between them? Yes, I believe I would always only want her.”[/color] ”You better. I quite like being alive,” a little mischievous smile appeared on her lips and following her gaze, Dorian noticed a car stopping right next to them and his friend coming out of it.