“Cherry Chapstick” - 2036
Her heart was beating loudly in her ears; it almost made Daiane wonder if Hera, from her location outside of her room, could hear it too—that’s how loud it felt. The heartbeat increased, her face visibly falling as she saw Hera misinterpret her comment. Rushed clarifications built up behind her lips just as the light went back on in Hera’s face, her teasing chuckle relieving Daiane of her stress. “Good,” she said softly.
Hera climbed their way into Dai’s room—a move that made Daiane feel like she was in some sort of fairy tale—to which Daiane made a remark about there being many other ways in which they could’ve (safely) gotten in. Hera’s response initially gave her warm butterflies, but she almost didn’t catch the full meaning of it, confusion setting in a beat late as she realized that the sentence did not particularly make much sense. Dai turned back to look at her, the puzzlement clouding her expression, before she registered Hera very clearly looking her up and down. The puzzlement gave way to a fierce blush, her cheeks alight. Her mouth opened, then closed, and she turned away, deciding to ignore the comment entirely. Still, their words lingered in her mind, replaying over and over as if Hera was repeating themself. Daiane could already tell that comment would easily join the group of thoughts that kept her up at night, long after Hera had left.
She settled herself onto her bed, adjusting the pillows so that they were propped up against her blue headboard, her back reclined against them. Dai looked at Hera sitting on her bed, laughing lightly as she saw how close she was to the bed’s edge. “Hera, this is a Queen bed; there’s more than enough space for you to not be ready to fall off.” She patted the empty space of mattress closer to her, a gentle smile on her face.
Bless Hera and her ability to keep conversations light, she thought to herself as her blush receded some. Daiane recognized it would’ve been easy for her friend to tease her about it, revel in her humiliation, but she was really glad that Hera hadn’t. “I mean, I was going to try to sleep, but I don’t think you can help very much with that.” She tossed a glance Hera’s way with a small chuckle. "So no, just you being here is enough for me.” Dai smiled, restraining the grin to a softer one, as she turned her attention to her laptop to open up Netflix.
When she had first suggested that they could watch a movie, she’d hadn’t been thinking about some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show. And yet, that’s what they ended up watching. She didn’t mind, of course—childhood shows brought her back to the simpler times she didn’t think she’d miss—but she didn’t think Hera would’ve been as cool with it as she was. They came off as… tough. Hard. The kind of dog who was all bite. And though with time Dai was beginning to see that they weren’t really so stone-hearted—maybe as they wanted to seem—it was moments like these in which she felt that Hera was revealing themself to her. Maybe she was reading too much into it. But maybe, she thought as Hera’s hand moved to rest on top of hers, maybe I’m not. Her eyes flicked to Hera’s for a moment, a breath, then returned to the screen, her hand remaining nestled underneath Hera’s protective palm.
Daiane hadn’t realized how much she had needed a respite until she had been given one, and this cartoon show was allowing her a moment to just, be. These days she had so little time for herself, and she wasn’t, wasn’t resentful or anything, but this leisure time right here was so, so precious to her. For a few minutes, she closed her eyes, trying to memorize the feeling of Hera’s hand and the sound of the cartoon laughter and way that the butterflies tickled her insides.
When she opened her eyes again, the next episode had begun, and she was hit with a memory that untied the sadness resting within her—the sadness Hera’s presence had made her forget—and the emotion bloomed like a rose, sucking up the happiness that had, for a second, existed. This was the episode her dad had wanted her to play for Andressa and Nadalia, as if they were kids again; this show was just another reminder of her father’s rapidly deteriorating condition. The tears slid silently down her cheek before she could stop them. She was tired of never being seen by her own father… she just wanted him to know her as Daiane. And present Daiane, not Daiane the baby or Daiane the unborn fetus or anything else but the person she was right now. More than anything, she wanted the childhood that Aline had had with him. And it killed her to know that she never would have that sort of relationship with her own dad.
“Ane?” Daiane turned to Hera, surprised to see that she, too, had the remnants of tears falling down her cheeks. “Why are you crying?” She laughed humourlessly, wrapping her arms around herself. “I just remembered that my dad asked me to play this exact episode on TV for Natie and Andressa. My older sisters. They haven’t been kids for years now.” She shrugged, the forced smile falling off her lips. “Why are you crying?” Dai asked, her head turning to regard Hera. “I never had anything to watch this stuff on as a kid.” Daiane nodded, eyes moving back to the screen of her laptop. “Both of our childhoods were pretty sucky, huh?” Dai remarked with a dry laugh, wiping away her tears.
“But anyway, let’s turn this off then, if it made both of us cry.” Daiane paused the show and closed her laptop, sitting up and twisting over the edge of her bed to place it onto her nightstand. She sat back on her bed, adjusting her position so that her body was turned towards Hera. Daiane didn’t know what to say, but for once, she didn’t say anything, instead let the silence rest between them like a comforting fog.
“You know, I kind of hate most things, but I think you’re okay, Meyer.” A grin split across her lips. She could practically feel the depth in Hera’s words despite the indifferent air about them and she held them close to her heart. “I think you’re okay, too,” she said, repeating Hera’s sentiment word for word.
“What did you want to do next?” she asked Hera, leaning a shoulder on the headboard of the bed. The ideas that Hera suggested were so far beyond things that she would ever do, Daiane couldn’t help but laugh, a roll of her eyes accompanying the sound. “Right,” she said, her brows knitting together in amusement.
Any ideas? She paused, considering. “Just one,” she said, after a few moments’ pause, eyes raising to meet Hera’s. Daiane was feeling bold, suddenly, adrenaline pulsing through her veins. Her heart was screaming at her to movemovemove before she chickened out, fingers twitching with anticipation. Perhaps Hera’s boldness had rubbed off on her, or maybe it was her subtle insinuation that had acted as fuel—whatever the cause, Daiane could feel herself burning with a sudden, clear desire that she wasn’t sure how to handle without action. “We can do this.” She leaned forward, pressing her lips against theirs. Her confidence exploded in a burst of emotion, happy noises filling the silence in her head, but the confidence’s influence faded almost as quickly as it had appeared; it had only been a few moments before she was pulling back, eyes searching Hera’s. “But we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” she was quick to add, her gaze dropping to study her hands fidgeting.