For the life of him - Riker didn’t know what he had done wrong. But he knew… he noticed the change in Elodie. Perhaps… even the kids had. Honestly… Riker didn’t even have a specific moment that he could place when this started… maybe… perhaps it was when she was pregnant again with Lexie. All Riker knew was it was as if one day everything was okay and the next… she wasn’t… Elodie just wasn’t her. Perhaps this was inevitable. Riker thought love was real… but look at Jordan and Sadie. If they couldn’t make it work why was he willing to fool himself into thinking he and Elodie would.
Riker simply kept replaying Elodie’s words in his mind. The way she looked when she told him she needed a break… that she couldn’t do it anymore. Do what? Their family? And then… she mentioned that he was the only person she slept with so did that mean she wanted more? She needed more? Was he a bad person for not seeing it - for not giving her space.
So as Sadie told him he didn’t need more alcohol, he heard her but he… he did. He just… wanted all the pain he felt to be gone. Thank god his kids weren’t home to see him like this. Look… Elodie and Riker weren’t perfect. Who the hell was? They had fights… disagreements. But what made their love work was that they were always there for each other. It didn’t matter how hard things became. Elodie was his wife… his best friend… his person and in a moment she had basically revealed she didn’t want it anymore and that… that killed him. Because if Riker was being honest, he didn’t know how to be Riker without her anymore.
Asking Sadie about Jordan was… all he knew he could do. And perhaps it would push him deeper into a spiral. Looking over at his friend… one that had only grown closer over the last few years, he didn’t expect her to be crying. "But I guess love doesn’t mean she’ll come back… I mean… god Jordan loved you. And… I’m sorry Sadie I just…I don’t… I didn’t want to bring… you into it… we should just… be happy and… " Riker was at a loss for words as she put her hand on his. Intoxicated or not, the thought of Elo leaving him sobered him quickly even if he… didn’t want to be sober. “I don’t… I don’t even know what to believe anymore Sadie it feels like the last 20 years of my life have been a lie and I don’t even…I don’t even know what she’s doing. Is she sleeping with other people? Is that why she told me she was upset that I was her only one. I don’t… I just need…” He didn’t wait for her to say anything before grabbing his drink and taking a few longer drinks, tears filling his eyes as he put the liquid down.
"You and Jordan… me and Elo… guess love doesn’t exist huh?
(And @astxrism kinda)