Dan fcked up: Time Skip Unknown - May 22nd, 1998
Part 7
It had only been five days, but Addie could feel every hour. She’d barely managed to keep herself from going back to his place, from doing what she knew she shouldn’t. And yet here she was, suffocating in the fallout of her own choice. Addie knew what she’d done would make Leo feel awful. She’d meant for it to—she’d meant to drive him away, to keep him safe. But still, the memory of those three checks sat heavy on her chest, a constant reminder of what she’d done. Was it cruel? The thought gnawed at her, making her toss and turn on her bed, alternating between guilt and resignation. “No,” she muttered to herself, “I’m doing it for him.” But still, the thought wouldn’t quiet.
Every effort she made to distract herself fell flat. She’d tried cooking—disaster. Singing? That earned her a very loud complaint from Justin. Every little thing just felt like an excuse, and the realization only made her feel more restless. She’d been avoiding any chance of running into Leo, even staying cooped up at home like a hermit. But now she’d had enough. Maybe leaving was the only solution. She could go back to London, clear her head, and put some distance between them once and for all.
The more she thought about it, the more it felt right. After a few restless hours of debating, she grabbed her phone and called her pilot to schedule a flight for the end of the week, even though the thought of getting on a plane alone made her wince.
“Going home?” Justin’s voice startled her from the doorway, a tinge of disappointment on his face.
Addie hung up the phone, looking over at him with a half-smile. He’s going to be all sentimental about this, she thought, bracing herself. She knew her brother – it was oddly part of the reason she stayed in her world… of course, the other part being leo
He crossed his arms, sighing. “I’m going to miss having you around, weirdo.”
Rolling her eyes, she replied, “Oh, please. You have to come home in a month anyway, and then we’re stuck with each other all summer.”
Justin gave her a mock pout before brightening. “Okay, then. Last hurrah tonight?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, wary.
“Nat’s friend is hosting a party. You know, one last night out together before you jet off.” He kept his tone casual, and she tilted her head, narrowing her eyes.
“Which friend?” she asked, something about this just feeling… odd.
“Oh, some guy Nat knows from when she was a kid. They used to be close growing up so he invited us out.
After a brief back-and-forth and some very convincing eye-rolls from Justin, she finally agreed. Besides, one last night couldn’t hurt, right?
The party was loud, lights flashing as Addie stepped in beside Justin and Natalie, but something about it felt…off. Maybe it was just the feeling of being out for the first day in… well… 5 days. But still, something just wasn’t sitting right in her stomach. Not to mention, she was just having this lingering feeling feeling that someone was watching her and she found herself scanning the crowd… which was all well and good until she spotted him. Leo. Waiting for her, eyes trained in her direction. How? Why? Addie thought that this was a childhood friend of Nat’s - why the fck was he here? He couldn’t be here.
Leo had this look on his face… unreadable almost. However, it was clear that he knew she was coming. Not only did it look like Leo knew - knowing him, he made it so she would come. It didn’t take Addie long to connect the pieces; Leo being at a high school party? One he knew about.
She glared at Justin, her voice barely a whisper as she spat, “Please tell me I’m wrong - blue royalty told you to come to this party… with me?”
Justin was surprised… and after a second she saw his shoulders hunch, “How did you… I’m sorry, Ads. I know I told you they usually give tasks to seniors but I was a little shocked when I got a note today and it just said to come to this party with everyone and I’d get a head start next year. I didn’t think it be a big deal? You’d been holed up at home for basically the entire week and looked like you needed a night out… but… Ads how did you know?.”
She huffed. Of course, she should’ve known. She should have trusted that feeling she got when leo asked her to come. Leo’s shadow hung over every part of this stupid game. She was fuming? Could you blame her? She had tried SO hard to avoid Leo. SHE HAD BECOME A HERMIT. And then he did this? He used her brother to get her here? you had to be kidding. She stalked straight over to him, feeling her pulse quicken with anger. Leo turned to face her, his gaze as cold as she’d ever seen it, and for a moment, she was lost for words. He’d never looked at her like that before. Well… not until Harr… never mind. Stay in the zone Addie…
“You set this up, didn’t you?”
He didn’t flinch, his gaze as cold as ever. “Aww… are you mad? Do you feel used? That’s crazy because that’s exactly how I f*cking felt when I woke up and found your goddamn note on my kitchen counter a few days ago. Oh… note and checks I mean.”
“ I was paying you for your time.” The words came out sharper than she’d intended, but she refused to take them back, even as something inside her twisted painfully. She needed him to hate her. And this would be her chance to do it.
“Oh, so I’m a f*cking prostitute now?” His voice was thick with contempt, and the way he looked at her made her feel like she’d taken another punch to the gut.
“Did I say that? Or did you imply it?”
“Then what exactly are you saying, Addie? You’re the one who left like it was nothing, who put money on the table like I was some paid-for-stripper distraction.” He took a step closer, his gaze sharp and unforgiving.
Her jaw clenched, and she felt a familiar frustration bubbling up. “You think I wanted this? You think I wanted any of this?” Her voice wavered, and she hated how vulnerable she sounded. “I was trying to make it clear—”
“Clear that what? That you don’t care?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Funny, because here you are, looking pretty damn bothered for someone who ‘doesn’t care.’”
She wished she was drunk for this conversation. She really did. It hurt to hurt him so much - and Addie knew with him, he could read her. He could read her face, her eyes - even when her lips were saying something different. But… but she had to be clear with him. If there was any chance, it was now. Lifting her chin defiantly. “I don’t care. Not about you, and definitely not about any of this.” The words tasted bitter in her mouth, but she forced herself to keep going.
Leo’s expression hardened, his gaze piercing through her. “Then go. No one’s f*cking stopping you, Addie. No one’s paying you to be here—you have free will, you know.”
“You’re unbelievable,” she spat, her voice trembling with suppressed anger. “I came here… I came to confront you because… because for some reason, you still seem to think you have some hold on me. Well, guess what? You don’t.”
“Good. Then why the hell are you still standing here? Go find someone else to play your games with.” He was practically daring her to walk away, and part of her knew she should, that it would be the smart thing to do, but she couldn’t. Instead, she just stared at him, the weight of everything unsaid settling between them.
“Fine,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the music. “ If it isn’t clear; I don’t want anything between us. I might be at this party due to your meddling, but we don’t mean anything. You won’t ever… You don’t…” She couldn’t say those words. SHe couldn’t say he meant nothing to her. The words wouldn’t come out. “ Just leave me alone for the rest of the night. I’m only hear for my brother.”
He looked at her with an almost pitying smile. “I don’t buy any of what you said for a second, Addie. Not even close.”
Instead of responding, Addie spun on her heel, heading toward the bar. The need to numb herself was overwhelming. Yes she knew that her baseline these past few weeks had been tipsy-drunk. But she didn’t care. She took shot after shot, ignoring the sting, letting the alcohol blur her frustration. She didn’t care. She didn’t… but Addie couldn’t help but let her eyes wonder back to him…
She watched him from the corner of her eye, saw him lean close to a girl with long, dark hair, his hand lingering on her waist as they talked. So yeah… he moved on quick. Clearly… good. Good. He deserved someone else… someone better.
But god, it hurt more than it should. He looked so at ease, laughing, smiling like he hadn’t a care in the world. Like she hadn’t just ripped his heart out five days ago. Whatever. WHATEVER. She just needed another drink… or 4… or 8.
As the party went on; she tried to ignore it, tried to focus on anything else, even the pathetic attempts at flirting from the guy next to her. But every time she let her eyes wonder, Leo was there… with someone else, and that ache in her chest grew sharper. But HEY at least she was drunk. Being drunk helped… a little? Okay not really… she just felt jealous… and sad…
Finally, she heard the crowd start to chant, “Shot! Shot! SHOT, SHOT”. Great a distraction. This would be good right? Turning around to watch what had grabbed everyone’s attention - she found the dark-haired girl who was with Leo earlier egging the crowd on. A bright smile on her lips as she held a shot in her hand. But instead of drinking it - she saw someone laying on a table… followed by her poring the shot on his stomach.
Oh you have to be kidding me.
No because this actually has to be a joke.
While Addie couldn’t see with the crowd of people surrounding them who was laying down. She knew. She just… knew.
Taking a few steps closer; Addie pushed between the crowd only to find herself almost front row as the girl took the shot from his stomach… and then licked the salt off his collarbone, and topped it off by eating the lime that Leo was holding in his mouth.
Why was she still here?
Why was she watching?
She saw the girl take the lime out of her mouth and then close the distance between her lips and Leo’s but Addie couldn’t watch that part. She had already turned around; pushing through the crowd as her heart sunk in her chest. It hurt. It hurt so fcking much. It felt like someone had repeatedly stabbed her in the stomach, laughed, and then used a bigger fcking knife.
She was leaving.
She couldn’t do this anymore.
But as she reached the door to the house… she couldn’t leave.
She couldn’t walk out the door. It was her salvation to this shtty night… but her legs wouldn’t move.
Fck.
She didn’t know what was happening. With her head spinning… she really didnt. However, her legs were moving before her brain could even catch up. She found herself marching, albeit unsteadily, towards where she had last seen Leo. And… and there he was. Leaning on the wall looking… looking bored? There was a girl draped on his arm… kissing his neck… but he was… you know what it didn’t matter.
Before Addie even had a chance to make sense of the situation; her legs were once again moving towards him. Ignoring the girl, Addie grabbed his hand while catching his gaze with her own, anger simmering beneath the surface.
“Upstairs. Now.”
He raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips as he studied her expression. “Jealous, are we?”
“Just… just shut up and follow me.” She tugged him toward a staircase marked with a No Entry sign, barely glancing at the curious stares that followed them as they made their way up. She pushed open the door to a dimly lit bedroom, closing it behind them and locking it as she leaned against the door, finally allowing herself to breathe.
Leo watched her, his arms crossed, an almost smug expression on his face as he waited for her to speak. The room felt heavy with tension, every unspoken word, every bottled-up feeling lingering between them.
“Well?” he asked, his voice laced with sarcasm. “What’s the grand plan, Addie? Get me alone so you can keep pretend this doesn’t mean anything to you? Because honestly, if that was the plan - I have someone waiting for me downstairs.”
“Don’t flatter yourself,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just don’t want to see you parading around like none of this matters.”
What was she saying? She didn’t mean to say that. What the fck brain? Fck.
Fck.
“Funny. That’s exactly what it looks like you’re doing.” He took a step closer, his gaze never leaving hers. “Why don’t you stop lying to yourself for once and admit that you’re the one who can’t stay away.”
“I’m… I’m… I’m not lying to myself,” she shot back, her voice shaking slightly. “I know exactly what I’m doing. I’m trying to protect you.”
He laughed, but there was no warmth in it. “Protect me from what? From you? Hate to break it to you, Addie, but I’m not the one running away here.”’
“I’m not… I’m… not… running,” she whispered, but the words felt hollow, even to her. She crossed her arms, trying to hold onto whatever resolve she had left.
“Really? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like that’s all you’re good at.”
The words stung, and she felt a bitter taste rise in her mouth. “Fine, if that’s what you think, then maybe I should go.”
“Go ahead,” he replied, his tone icy. “No one’s stopping you. In fact, no one’s paying you either, so you don’t have any obligation to stay, remember?” He added, a sneer on his face.
Her throat tightened, the guilt bubbling up as she forced herself to hold his gaze. This is what you wanted, she reminded herself. Make him hate you. Make him leave. But as she looked at him, his face contorted with anger, she felt her defenses crumbling.
Without a word, she took a shaky breath and turned, leaning against the wall, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. She didn’t want to leave. Not really. But she also didn’t know how to stay.
Addie paced the length of the room, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor, her breaths shallow and rapid as she struggled to steady herself. “F*ck it. I can’t do this anymore…” she muttered, her voice filled with frustration, her fingers tightening as if she were gripping onto her last thread of self-control. Her mind was racing, logic slipping away as she turned to face him, her gaze meeting his with a fierceness she couldn’t hold back any longer.
The silence during the ride back to Leo’s place was suffocating, thick with the weight of words they both seemed unwilling to say. Addie kept her gaze fixed on the window, lost in her thoughts, acutely aware of Leo beside her yet unable to look at him. The ache she felt inside only deepened as they neared his place, a reminder of how deeply entangled she still was in everything about him.
When they reached his condo, she stepped inside ahead of him, heading straight for his liquor cabinet. She knew exactly where it was, of course. The familiar glint of bottles behind glass felt like comfort as she took out a bottle, pouring herself a long shot and tipping it back without a second thought. Then, before Leo could even react, she poured herself another.
Leo let out an exasperated sigh, muttering under his breath, “You just got sober…” but Addie barely heard him. The burn of the liquor felt steadying, grounding her, and the tension in her chest loosened slightly as she felt the warmth spreading through her.
She moved over to his coffee table, where a pack of cards sat off to the side. She picked them up, shuffling them absently before looking up at him, a glint of mischief flickering in her eyes. “Let’s play poker, love.”
He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he looked at her with a mixture of amusement and disbelief. “Why are you like this?”
Ignoring his question, she moved closer, a sly smile forming on her lips as she added, “No… let’s play strip poker.” She leaned in, her voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “Come on, Leo, afraid you’ll lose?”
Leo grabbed the deck, clearly intending to put it away, but Addie pouted, reaching out for the cards. “No, let me shuffleeeeee. You always cheat… okay, you probably don’t, but you can’t always be that lucky with the damn cards.”
He sighed, his resolve weakening as he gave in, sitting across from her with a reluctant look. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
They began to play, and sure enough, Leo won every single hand. Addie tossed her jacket off first, then her shoes, and finally her dress until she was left in just her bra and underwear, her face flushed as she pouted at him across the table.
“How… how the hell do you always win? This is rigged.”
He chuckled, shrugging as he collected the cards, stacking them neatly before standing.
“Alright, Addie. I think it’s time for bed.”
She shook her head, a sudden wave of sadness washing over her as she looked up at him. “No.” Her voice was softer now, the edge of her earlier defiance fading.
He raised an eyebrow, studying her closely. “Why do you do this? Why do you act like you want something, and then the second you’re sober, you pull away?”
Addie’s eyes lowered, a mix of emotions swirling within her as she struggled to find the words. “I don’t… want to hurt you,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, and suddenly she felt a prickling at the corners of her eyes.
Her chest tightened, the weight of everything she’d been holding back pressing down on her as she finally broke down, her face crumpling as she buried her head in her hands. “I… I hurt you and it… haunts me. I broke you, and… and… and I can’t do it again… but it’s hard when you’re here, everywhere, and all I want is to be near you, to wrap my arms around you and just…” Her words trailed off into a quiet sob, and for a moment, the room was silent except for the faint sound of her crying.
Leo sighed, running a hand through his hair before walking over to her. Without a word, he gently lifted her and carried her into his bedroom, ignoring her half-hearted protests as he set her down on the bed.
He grabbed a t-shirt and shorts, placing them on the bed beside her. “Get changed. I’ll bring you some water.” His voice was gentle but firm, leaving her no room to argue.
As he left, Addie lay there, wiping her tears away as she pulled his shirt over her head, her mind reeling from everything she’d just said. She barely registered his return until he placed a glass of water on the nightstand and turned, starting to leave the room but Addie grabbed his hand before he did.
“Please… I… I need your arms around me, my love,” Addie whispered. She could see the hesitation… but after a few minutes… found herself comforted by his arms; and it didn’t take long before she drifted off to sleep, exhaustion finally overtaking her.
When Addie woke the next morning, the headache hit her like a freight train, pounding relentlessly as she blinked against the harsh morning light. She glanced around, realizing she was alone, and the events of last night came flooding back in hazy fragments. She groaned, pressing a hand to her forehead as she stumbled out of bed, pulling Leo’s shirt more tightly around her.
She wandered out to the kitchen, where the smell of coffee and something cooking filled the air. Leo was at the stove, looking far too composed for someone who’d been dealing with her drunken antics the night before. Her mouth was dry, but she didn’t waste time on small talk.
“I want to f*ck you, Leo.” The words tumbled out before she could think twice, blunt and direct, and she watched his reaction with a brazen sort of curiosity. “So, what do I have to do to convince you to take me to that bed and do it?”
He turned slowly, raising an eyebrow as he looked at her with something between exasperation and amusement. “How about a real date first?” His voice was calm, measured, as if he’d been waiting for this exact conversation. “I want to take you out on a date. A real one. And after that, if you still want to sleep with me, fine. No… no f*cking payments. Just us, okay? Deal?”
She blinked, the boldness from moments ago fading as she processed his words. A real date. Her mind flickered with memories of their first dates, the laughter, the long talks, the feeling of ease she’d only ever found with him. And for once, she didn’t have the energy to argue.
After a long, thoughtful pause, she nodded, her voice softer as she whispered, “Deal.”