Game night showdown
Jess didn’t mean to start a war.
Okay, maybe she did.
But in her defense, she was very pregnant, very hormonal, and had spent most of the day trying to stop Aria from turning the kitchen into a glitter explosion zone.
She deserved this.
And by this, she meant absolutely demolishing Kai at a board game.
It was supposed to be friendly—a simple family night to wind down after a long day—but that was before Kai decided to turn it into World War III.
It started when Aria—still in her sparkly princess dress and plastic heels—ran into the living room, dumped the box of The Game of Life on the coffee table, and demanded to play. Jess had agreed immediately—because, really, how hard could it be to humor a five-year-old with plastic cars and paper money? Kai, however, had turned it into an event.
He’d pulled out snacks, cleared the coffee table, and—Jess couldn’t make this up—sorted the play money like they were running an actual bank.
Jess should’ve seen the red flags then.
Ten Minutes In.
It started off innocent enough.
Aria went first, spinning the wheel with enough force to knock over two of the tiny plastic cars.
“I want Life!” she repeated, sticking her nose in the air like she was making a very serious announcement.
“You’re going to college,” Kai said immediately, reaching over to move her piece for her.
Aria gasped, snatching the piece back. “No! I want to be a superstar.”
Jess grinned, already enjoying this more than she should.
“You need a degree for that.”
“Beyoncé didn’t.”
Jess choked on her water, struggling not to laugh as Kai shot her a glare.
“She’s got a point.”
“She’s five.”
“And already outsmarting you.”
Kai ignored her, but Jess saw the way his jaw twitched as Aria gleefully skipped college and spun her way straight into a career as a pop star.
Twenty Minutes in:
Jess and Kai had also gone through their spins—college or career, kids or no kids—and Jess had even humored Kai when he started narrating their “lives” like some kind of deranged game show host.
“Jess Hawthorne (aka her fake life name), after skipping college—questionable choice LIKE her daughter, but okay—has officially become an entertainment agent… probably for her daughter.”
Jess rolled her eyes, patting her very obvious bump as she leaned back. “I didn’t skip college, I took a gap year. And you’re a veterinarian, so maybe calm down, Dr. Dolittle.”
Aria giggled from the floor, but Jess didn’t miss the way Kai’s eyes narrowed slightly.
It was fine. Everything was fine.
Until Jess landed on the lottery space.
And won $500,000.
Kai froze mid-spin, his eyes snapping to the stack of bills Jess was fanning out like some kind of Vegas high roller.
“That’s rigged.”
“It’s called luck, darling.”
“It’s called cheating.”
“You can’t cheat at this game.”
“Tell that to my empty bank account.”
Thirty Minutes In: the chaos escalated eveeeeen more.
Aria spun again, shrieking when her car landed on the marriage space.
“I’M GETTING MARRIED!”
Jess clapped, pretending to dab at imaginary tears. “They grow up so fast.”
Kai groaned, rubbing his temples. “This is how it starts.”
“Relax.” Jess smirked. “It’s plastic.”
“I get a wedding gift!” Aria beamed, holding up fake money. “Can we do this in real life?”
“Absolutely not.”
Jess leaned closer, whispering just loud enough for Aria to hear. “Daddy’s scared of weddings.”
“And babies.”
Kai shot them both matching glares. “I’m scared of you two teaming up against me.”
“What can I say? I’m her agent.”
Fifteen Minutes Later. it got worse.
Aria spun the wheel and practically screamed. “I HAVE TWINS!”
Jess froze. So did Kai.
Their eyes met immediately—hers dropping to her very obvious baby bump as Kai’s jaw tightened.
“Don’t.”
“You’re manifesting this.”
“It’s not how pregnancy works.”
“Tell that to you, who already eats enough for three people.”
Jess gasped, smacking his arm. “You did not just call your pregnant wife fat.”
“I… I did not call you fat. Don’t twist my words.*”
“I’m taking your salary for that.”
“You can’t—Jess!”
By the time they hit the retirement phase, it wasn’t just a game anymore. It was personal.
Kai’s car was practically bursting with plastic babies (*four kids—FOUR), and Jess had made it her personal mission to buy every single property on the board, including the million-dollar mansion he’d been saving for.
“I hate you,” Kai muttered, throwing down his last bill as he paid Jess rent.
“No, you’re just jealous because I’m rich and child-free.”
“You’re selfish.”
“You’re bitter.”
“You’re divorced.”
Jess gasped dramatically, grabbing her chest like he’d stabbed her. “I left you because you snored, Malachi.”
Aria blinked, looking between them with wide eyes. “Wait… are you really divorced?”
Jess immediately snapped out of it, leaning down to kiss Aria’s head. “No, baby. Mommy and Daddy just like to yell at each other.”
“Loudly.” Kai added, still glaring.
Ten Minutes Later. Aria was asleep - clearly exhausted after the nights antics
“I want a rematch.”
Jess looked up from where she was stacking her money (because yes, she won).
“You lost. Take it like a man.”
“You cheated.”
“You’re delusional.”
Kai crossed his arms, his voice dropping lower. “Best two out of three.”
Jess smirked. “What’s in it for me?”
“The satisfaction of losing this time.”
“Not interested.”
Kai narrowed his eyes. “You’re scared.”
Jess’s eyebrows shot up. “Scared? Of you?”
“You should be.”
“I own you.”
“Rematch.”
Thirty Five Minutes Later.
Jess lost.
By two spaces.
And Kai? Kai had never been more obnoxious in his entire life.
“Say it.”
“No.”
“Jess.”
“I hate you.”
“Say it.”
Jess crossed her arms, glaring as Kai leaned closer, his voice dropping to a low murmur. “Admit it, my love. I won.”
“You barely won.”
“Winning is winning.”
Later That Night.
Jess waited until they were back in bed, Kai’s arm draped lazily over her waist, before she struck.
“You cheated.”
Kai groaned, rolling onto his back. “I swear to God—”
“And you still owe me $500,000.”
“It’s fake money, Jess!”
“It’s about the principle.”
Kai laughed, pulling her closer. “You’re impossible.”
Jess grinned, leaning up to press a kiss to his jaw. “And you love me.”
“Unfortunately.”