＊✿❀ Annie after senior year (Part 2) ❀✿＊
But getting here, you did that on you’re own — Look How Far You’ve Come by Joshua Bassett
“… And I guess in New Zealand I was too busy arguing with Paige over directions or complaining from exhaustion to think about anything else,” Annie described with a slight laugh, recounting to her therapist the road trip she had taken with her sister.
After Paige’s intervention- and long past everyone’s silent prayers- Annie had finally brought herself up and out of the house to speak with someone professionally. Dr. Georgia Connelly had somehow remained patient through Annie’s scepticisms and reluctance, even outbursts against opening up, and after long periods of calming persistence, Annie began to talk through things. About her grief for her mother and Finch; her guilt for her many destructive behaviours; her confusion and uncertainty over who she was as a person. Between the many periods of frustration, reclusion, and coldness, Annie had slowly began a journey of self-forgiveness and healing.
Though Annie still had her times where she struggled to get out of bed, let alone leave the house, her days of severe isolation and deprivation appeared to be behind her. Even to the extent where she had let Paige convince her to see the world with her. The trip certainly hadn’t been some soul-searching life-changing journey- with many long hours on the road, detours from getting lost in the cities, and occasional regret from questionable street food. But it had become a real turning point for Annie. She had laughed with Paige more than she had in a long time, rediscovered interests in the world around her, reigniting her love for the ocean and beaches, and even her times of frustration over small things- the whole thing had posed a perfect distraction for Annie and a reminder she was still capable of feeling.
“And then Australia was just, ah-” Annie couldn’t find the words, she had so many words and so many more feelings now, this moment being the epitome of that development. “Driving through the Great Ocean Road felt like nothing I’ve seen before at all and standing on Bondi Beach was so.. calming and surreal in ways I really haven’t felt before,” She continued, a pang of melancholy already sinking in at being away from that experience and being back at home. “Everything was just so new and different and… it made me feel like that too,” Annie expressed, before her tone began to shift, “Being back it’s like.. back where I started.”
Dr Connelly shifted in her seat, taking in what Annie had been saying, letting the silence sit as she made sure she was done before inputting. “It sounds like Australia really gave you something important. And coming back is natural to feel unsettled since coming back, and feeling the sharp contrast from discovering this new version of yourself to coming back,” She started, building up to something in her usual way, and Annie could never tell where she was going to go. “But coming back home is not the same as coming ‘back where you started’, it doesn’t undo all the progress you’ve made. That version of you is still in there. We just have to find ways to bring her out more,” Dr. Connelly continued, looking to Annie, “How can we bring parts of her to Beryl Heights Annie?”
Fvcking Beryl Heights. The town of all wrongdoings in her life. The community hall where their prom had been, and Annie had been wrongly accused and arrested for the murder of her friend. The roads that Annie crashed on, and forests that she had witness set alight. The hospital where her father had forgotten who she was. The school where… everything else happened. Even to think of this place cast a shadow over whatever hope and contentment she had began to feel at the start of this conversation. “I don’t.. I don’t think it’s possible,” She stammered after a while. “Not- not here.”
For a moment, Dr Connelly could only nod. She had heard all Annie’s tribulations at this point, and there was an understanding that some moments would stay unsettled for her. “Annie, what do you want to do with your life?” She eventually asked, a change in tone to mark the alternate route in conversation. Annie let out a breathy, non-smiling laugh, mainly in confusion. “What?” Was all she could come up with. “Your future. Have you thought about it?” She asked gently, “Do you want to work? Go back to school?”
Annie sighed in consideration, opening her mouth to speak before realising she had nothing. She looked up to the ceiling upon that realisation, stuck in silence as moments passed. “I don’t know,” Eventually slipped out, her eyes welling up, as some type of functional future had never been something Annie thought of as an option, as something that could happen for her. She hadn’t seen anything past her teen years, something that usually swayed her destructive behaviours and impulsive decisions. “I never…- I thought, I always thought it was too late. That I…-” Annie succumbed to her struggle, giving up her hunt for words, her reaction being telling enough.
“I understand, Annie. But it’s not too late for you. You’ve survived things that most people never have to face, but you still have your whole life ahead of you,” Dr Connelly told her in a delicate tone. “There is still so much you are yet to achieve and experience, so much that you with your strong-willed nature and determination are capable of.” She left a moment for that to sink in, before passing the conversation back to the subject. “What would it look like, if you allowed yourself to imagine something for yourself?”
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“Hell has frozen over,” Principal Klein exclaimed when he saw Annie Williams walk into his office on her own accord, at a time where it wasn’t obligatory for her to be at school anymore. Annie rolled her eyes in exasperation his comment. As much as Annie had changed now, and lost many parts of who she was during school, seeing the Principal managed to tug out that sarcastic nature she once used to embody. “I’m sure you’ve already alerted security,” Annie remarked dryly in a monotone voice, considering the probable truth in that statement.
After some hesitation and last-minute doubts, Annie finally took a seat in front of his desk. “Well.. it’s no secret that I couldn’t graduate,” She started, with a cautiously slow tone, facing the top of his head as Klein’s eyes were fixated on whatever it was he was writing. “And, you know, graduating is usually a good start for people hoping to go to college…” Annie continued, dragging it out slightly longer with apprehension on how this was going to be received. “Or people that want to get jobs, or be, like successful, and stuff…” Was the final drag before she got to the point - “And was wondering what I would need to do. To do that.” Annie concluded. Then came a period of silence as her words sank in.
“What you would need to do what?” Klein repeated after a while. “To graduate,” She clarified, suddenly catching his full attention. Now that she had it, Annie knew she had to say the full words to get the message across - and actually believable. “I want to graduate. I want to do.. what it takes for me to graduate,” She finally said. “If it’s not… too late for me,” Annie added, the tone of caution returning.
Though there was no response, the change in Klein’s actions was clear that his response was coming. The rapid typing and clicking at his computer went on for a few moments. Scrolling, clicking, scrolling again as Annie tapped her fingers against the desk, clicking as she looked around for something else to focus on. Then the sound of printing, Klein spinning in his chair, taking off his glasses and handing her the resultant piece of paper.
“These are the subjects you still need to pass to graduate,” He explained to her as he indicated to the list in front of her, his tone a matter-of-fact despite the scepticism, and possible amusement, he may be feeling at this situation. “You can take the finals in May,” Klein told her, before he leaned back in his chair. Annie took the paper, and with that the weight of this new responsibility for herself. “Good luck,” He said with questionable sincerity before Annie left.
＊✿❀ ❀✿＊
The following months had revolved around something Annie had never thought to do in her life - studying. She introduced herself to a library, her father had helped find her tutors for each subject she needed, and she buried herself in textbooks. It was challenging, at times overwhelming. But for the first time in a long time, Annie had motivation in life, her time was finally occupied with something and she had reason to get up in the morning. Her days were filled with purpose and the progress she was making, in every manner, encouraged her to continue. Annie had started to believe it wasn’t too late for her, she wanted more for herself, and had found a new desire to go to college. And for the first time in her life, it started to become a more attainable possibility.
Testament to the effort she had put in, Annie sat the exams in May and- to her own surprise- passed all that was needed of her. Albeit a year late, with her father, Justin, Kyra, and Paige in attendance for her, Annie Williams graduated from senior year. A celebration not only for her educational journey and success, but for herself too, and how far she had come, and proving to the masses who expected far less of her - including herself.
Weeks after this achievement, an email arrived for Annie encasing the acceptance of her place at the University of Sydney to study Social Work. Opened with shaky hands, read and reread multiple times with watery eyes, and shared to her loved ones with exhilaration. Suddenly, everything that seemed impossibly unattainable for Annie was starting to become closer to grasp. Australia. To escape and become the version of herself that she could see living beyond just bare minimal surviving.
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“Ria!!” Her flatmate, Amy called from the other room, before arriving at the doorway, flustered from rushing over. “Are you ready to go?”
Mariana had been at University for a few months now, and while she knew from the moment she arrived that this was the right choice, she was now just starting to find her rhythm. She had made a close circle of friends with people who didn’t know her as the troubled high school teen with a short fuse, but instead as Ria, a nickname from Amy that had quickly caught on and a good representation of this healthier and grown version of herself she finally felt proud of. Plus with the new-found work ethic from her finals, she had actually taken an interest in the course she was pursuing, and she could start to imagine the kind of life and profession she could go into.
She turned to her friend, grabbing her bag and joining Amy at the doorway. “So ready - whose house party are we even going to?” She asked as they made their way out of the flat. “A friend of Noah’s I think,” Hannah replied as they walked, a mischievous smile crossing her face despite Mariana’s attempts of no reaction. “Not Jack… though he’ll probably be there too–” “I didn’t even say anything!” “Okaaay. But it’s some guys who go to another uni I think. Who knows,” She explained before they joined their group that were waiting outside the building. “LETS GOOO the Uber is literally about to fvcking leave us.”
The house was slightly further out, in an area she hadn’t really ventured down before. Though the inside was familiar, as all uni parties looked the same. Crowded, messy, loud, and Mariana was happy to be right in the middle of it all, excited to be a part of something. “Amy, Ria! Hurry up I’m pouring shots!” Toby shouted, beckoning them to join him, Noah and Chloe around the kitchen where small cups awaited them. “What is your obsession with this orange sh!t, Toby?” Mariana exclaimed at the orange liqueur he always seemed to bring. “For real, petition for Toby to just drink vodka,” Chloe added with a laugh, her voice coming out a shout over the surrounding voices, “One of these days you guys will just get it,” Toby defended, rolling his eyes before raising his cup and raising it for everyone else to do the same, “Okay, 3, 2, 1!”
Winced expressions crossed all but Toby’s faces. “No that’s still bad,” Mariana confirmed before Noah’s arm outstretched in front of her, pointing and waving across whoever he’d spotted. “Guys we’re over here!” He shouted over, catching the attention of one from the group, who then led the rest of them their way. “This lot go to New South Wales, as well as probably everyone else here,” Noah explained as their circle expanded to make room for the new additions, before he began introducing them - one in particular joining that certainly needed no introduction.
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@benitz786 I FINALLY DID IT