Fragmented: maybe that was the right word for how his mind felt and how his life had been for the past few weeks after waking up from a coma. His family life was fragmented with Sadie not… being his any more. It… hurt to watch past interviews of her talking about the divorce… and honestly… something about it just felt off. Maybe… maybe that’s why he had a hard time seeing himself smiling talking about marrying Jez. Maybe it’s even the reason why he wasn’t taking a chance and having a real conversation with Jezebel: he was afraid. It didn’t… none of that made sense anymore. Jordan… didn’t even remember one of his kids and the other two were adults already… everything just felt… wrong. It felt like this was no longer his life… as if he had woken up in the body of another Jordan in another world and he just wanted to get out… wanted a sense of normalcy. So maybe he was avoiding the truth… or whatever portion of it existed in this world that he couldn’t figure out by watching interviews and reading newspapers. Ironically, Sadie was doing the exact same… avoiding bringing the subject up when he was there.
So what the hell was he to do? He just… Jordan Williams was trying to bring back the memory of what he could last remember. Him and Sadie together… happy. At the moment, the thought of normalcy was keeping him same and it was pushing him to rush into decisions he wouldn’t usually make… pushing him to stand in front of a pregnant woman with divorce papers in his hand. Though, Ironically, despite the words that left his mouth… the malice that he had with every notion, it was as if he was fighting against a current the entire time. His mouth was saying one thing, but his mind kept saying “What the hell are you doing?”. For some reason, it was hurting to do this… it was difficult to do this but Jordan couldn’t put his finger on why. Why wasn’t this easier? Maybe because even though his mind didn’t remember Jezebel, his heart did… but that was something that wasn’t fully comprehensible to Jordan Williams as he led her inside.
The two were… for the most part, alone. Besides, of course, the little child hugging Jezebel’s legs with all his little might. For a second, looking into her eyes, Jordan almost forgot what he was doing. He felt his heart speed up for a second, as she finally met his own after avoiding his gaze since the moment they got into the room. Yes, he was lost for a second… questioning what the hell he was doing exactly… until, of course, she asked how this was supposed to work. “I don’t… we’ll figur-” Jordan didn’t get to finish his words with her own drowning his out. If I’m a mistake. For some reason, those words hurt more than anything else had over the past few days. Jordan could hear a mental screaming in his mind, trying to tell him something but resulting in only a numbing headache which blurred his senses for a moment.
Here’s another thing however; no matter where the two of them were in their lives, even in this current moment where Jordan… despised what she did… Jordan never thought Jez was a mistake. Maybe the circumstances were, sure. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he looked away from her for a second and paced away, only to turn around and pace closer to her. “Don’t do that… don’t… I never said that Jez. I never said I thought you were a mistake, I don’t… I could never think you’re a mistake. Even if it was a long time ago, I still loved you Jez and for a that time, you were everything to me and for good reason. I just… I realized a decade ago that I never really knew you. I knew your heart, but I didn’t know or understand you anymore and maybe that was my fault. Maybe it was my fcking fault for leaving the first time but I never thought that you would make a decision that involved my… that involved our child without me. I would have done everything for both of you but I didn’t even get the chance so no, Jez. If those are my kids, if somehow in this upside down world I’m in, we made those kids - I will love them with my entire heart. I will be there for them every single day and watch them grow up. They will be everything to me, Jez. Everything.” Jordan let out, his stare unwavering as he looked her in the eyes - not really giving her a chance to talk or correct him.
Swimming against a current… yep… that was truly the only way to describe how he felt. Every word that left his mouth felt like daggers running down his throat, but what was said had been said. “I think… maybe you should just sign the pape-” However, the words barely left his lips when the tremors hit. For a second, confusion met his features at what was happening - the slow trembling was only strong enough to move the glasses on the counter. It was barely a slow vibration at this point - and it took Jordan only a moment to recognize what was going on. Jordan wasn’t thinking anymore - he was reacting. He found himself grabbing Jezebel’s hand and jerking her towards the dining room table - taking only a second to grab Aidan’s hand and force him over there too. The trembles had gotten stronger by the time they had gotten to the table - perhaps only 2 seconds later. Holding Jez, he helped lower her down and pull her under the table alongside Aidan, and it was the instant they were under where all hell begin to break loose. The shaking intensified - followed by glasses and cups falling and smashing on the floor. Jordan in the moment, however, only cared to cover the two individuals with him. Keeping his body overing above their heads, Jordan told the scared little boy to tuck his head between his knees. Though he listened, the soft mommy alongside his sobs were loud enough to hear amongst the crashing.
In retrospect, the earthquake likely only lasted less than a minute. Though, in the moment, it felt like forever. Time slowed, and Jordan found his eyes meeting Jez who was crutching her stomach with a yell. “Jez… Jez… a… are you okay?” Jordan managed to scream over the loud noise before it stopped completely. Though, as the sound of the earthquake diminished, it was filled with a yelling from Jezebel.
@Littlefeets - Memory being restored will be next part