This was not as bad as she thought it would be. How are you? Good? Good type of conversation was what she was expecting but not hoping would happen and here she was, her little wish coming true. But was that a good thing? Was she really ready to be facing this, here, now? Not really… but the longer she waits, the harder it gets. Her insecurities only growing when there… wasn’t need for that. Which she knew, she knew that very well. It was always obvious how loved she was, with every word and every action, that was never something Elodie had to doubt but… she knew how much damage she caused. How it was fully her fault for this mess they were both in and how that wasn’t something you just get over, and forget. Could she really be mad if her husbands feelings towards her changed? No, she couldn’t.
What about her feelings? Well… that she could with confidence tell you would never change. It’s kind of big statement but there is no lie in it. She will never love someone as much as she loved the man standing in front of her, their daughter in his arms. There never was a day when she doubted that, not even while she was gone… while he was gone. That only made her miss him more. It was obvious in the way she gently smiled looking at… listening to him talking to their daughter as her gaze was glued to the ground. Lexie’s laugh and mumbles… This is what everything was supposed to be like from the very beginning.
But it was not. That little moment of calm while avoiding eye contact eventually had to come to an end. [color="e0ac8c”]”Good.“[/color] Good. It was good that he was good. That meant he… was good. Yeah everything was… good. But was it a I’m happy to see you good or I’m completely over you good? There’s a huge difference… obviously. But it obviously wasn’t the second one. It couldn’t be… she was just… overthinking. [color="e0ac8c”]”And it’s Jordan… I’m sure he would be more than happy to see you now,“[/color] trying to put on another weak smile, Elodie quickly continued. If things were different, this was the moment where she’d wrap her arms around him, gently kiss him, reassuring him of what she said but she… couldn’t do that. She couldn’t even bring herself to touch him, instead she lofted her hand up to Lexie’s cheek. ”You agree wiiiith me? Teeeell hiiim,“ a grin on both her and Lexie’s face as she caressed her daughter’s cheek. Hoping this will calm her nerves just a little bit but once Riker shifted the attention back to her, that smile she had faltered.
Again, how was she? And how were their daughters? How would she know? There wasn’t a way for her to express how she was feeling or to explain what was happening because honestly… she had no idea. She once again found herself just looking around, staying silent for a moment. [color="e0ac8c”]”Uhm… Better. It’s getting easier… And I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you because I don’t know… “[/color] Well, she could tell him what she did know. That her daughter was ignoring her. That she so easily left so Elodie had to send her other kids to Dorian’s place for Thanksgiving so nothing would seem wrong. How she was all alone for those couple of days and as much as she wanted to think how she had no idea what she did wrong, that she knew very well she did. How she was trying so hard to play pretend and it was only getting harder and harder and she couldn’t do it anymore… But she didn’t want to get all emotional right now… She didn’t but she had to say something. If she said it to someone maybe it would hurt less and he was always the first person she would go to. [color="e0ac8c”]”I feel like I haven’t seen Amie in a long time… I think she’s ignoring me. She left so I h-had to tell Phoebe to go with her… But it seemed like they had a good time. It seemed like that was one… very nice day. And yes,“[/color] everything she said was barely a whisper, the hardest smile she had to keep on her face while looking at Lexie the entire time. Her head resting against her father’s chest. [color="e0ac8c”]”We are… bonding. It… finally got better,“[/color] staying quiet, Elodie’s arms crossed over her chest. ”T… They all really miss you, Riker.“
@/benitz786 - Riker