Laurel knew being with her ex like this was a bad idea, but she did it anyway, but she never expected the words that he said after. Love. Raphael Montoya really said the L word, and to Laurel Parker of all people. If there was anyone you didn’t say “love” to, it would be Laurel. It’s one thing to hear a family member say that they love you or say it back to them, but someone else… Not just anyone, but someone you did have feelings for, your ex boyfriend. That was different. To Laurel, if love did exist, it just brought even more pain. She saw the way her parents were around each other. She saw the way her mother could never make any relationship work, still hung up on her first love, who guess what, broke her heart and didn’t even speak to her for years. That’s true love for you alright. Love can be good for a moment, but then the future is filled with pain. If Laurel was being honest, including being honest with herself, her biggest fear was love, and falling in love with someone. To her, if she didn’t let someone hold her heart in their hands, they wouldn’t be able to crush it like she knew would happen eventually. Love doesn’t win in the end, and trying to make love work was a losing battle.
That’s why Laurel pushed herself away from Raph in the first place. If a relationship gets serious, if she has feelings for someone, she has to put a stop to it. A minor pain now is better than the potential pain later. In her 19 years of life, there had been 2 relationships that, if she admitted it, hurt to end. One, because it was essentially her first love, but she got scared and pulled away. Then on the opposite side, her most recent relationship, with Raph. Perhaps it was simply because it was the two longest relationships she had ever been in, perhaps it was as simple as the timing of the relationships, or something deeper. There had only been 2 relationships she ever actually cared about, but love scared her. Her feelings in the moment didn’t matter, it didn’t matter if she ever questioned if she had made a mistake, she couldn’t change her past, but there was a part of her that was too scared to change her present. It was the part of her that always won, the part that made her want to push away to begin with. “Don’t say that s**t, Raph.” Did she miss Raph? There was definitely a part of her that says yes. Was there even a part of her that liked to hear the word love, and held feelings that were beyond just a physical attraction? Maybe so, but this is Laurel Parker, and she’s not the person to give in even if she had feelings for someone. “This was just some fun, nothing more.” Laurel said, moving away from Raphael to gather her clothing. To her, love is simply a pipe dream, and wanting more was just setting herself up for failure. Its all fun and games until it gets serious, and then its the last chance to run.
@CerealKiller