Aurelia had every right to despise Ilyas Keats. In fact, she believed that if the entire world didn’t loathe him, she would consider that a sign that the world had lost its sense of justice. Perhaps there was no true way to describe her dislike…but how about this: if the entire world hated Ilyas Keats, Aurelia Ellis was one of them; And if no one despised that man - well then, Aurelia was dead. Perhaps that was a crude way of putting it, but to her, Ilyas was the embodiment of cruelty, a repugnant force that defied reform. If she were to find a word to encapsulate the depths of her hatred, it would be “evil” – a darkness that ran so deep that it could not be washed away by any act of redemption.
Aurelia wasn’t naive. She understood that her memory of the past few years was fragmented, to say the least. However, there was one thing she was certain of: she would never have associated with Lord Keats. It was inconceivable. Moreover, the oddness of her earlier conversation with Lord Davis weighed heavily on her mind. Dealing with both of these individuals, she would have taken every precaution to avoid them like the plague. It just didn’t add up. It seemed that somehow, these two troublesome men had sensed her memory lapses and were now playing games with her. How? She had yet to find out - but perhaps the rumors about her had spread further then she originally thought.
That had to be it.
Well, guess what, Ilyas? Aurelia was no longer that vulnerable child who would allow herself to be pushed aside and bullied. She would no longer shed tears because the menacing Ilyas Keats had raised his voice at her. He no longer held any power over her, if he ever did. This time, and forever moving forward, she would stand her ground.
“Can we go somewhere to speak?”
Was he absolutely mad? Not only was he standing far too close for propriety (something no man should be besides her brother), but he was also asking to be alone with her at the first ball of the season. What was he trying to achieve? Was this yet another one of his jokes or pranks?
His figure loomed over hers, and with each step closer, he seemed to tower over her even more as he spoke in a hushed voice. But why was her heart racing at this proximity? It had to be mere anxiety, she reasoned, nothing more. Never had Aurelia been this outspoken with Ilyas Keats before, and that newfound boldness was causing her heart to race and her head to pound. Surely that was it.
“You must be utterly out of your mind,” Lia retorted, her words laced with a steely determination as she stood her ground, refusing to back down in the face of his audacity.
“You know I can’t do that,” Ilyas replied, his own gaze unyielding, a testament to his persistence.
Aurelia held her posture, her spine straight and her eyes locked with his. Frustration welled within her, fueled by the memories of their past interactions. She could recall the torment, the cruelty he had inflicted on her during their childhood. The scars, though not visible, were still etched in her mind. Yet, there was something different in Ilyas now, a newfound layer to his character she couldn’t quite grasp. It troubled her, and she wondered if time and distance had changed him. But she wasn’t willing to let her guard down.Honestly, the last true moment Aurelia could recall about the man was the peace she felt when he left for his schooling. It was upsetting, however, that she could not remember much of the aftermath of his leave. Though, it had to have been peaceful - what a great time she must have had felt not having Ilyas Keats as her neighbor.
Aurelia, you don’t have to go through this alone,”
For a brief moment, Aurelia’s resolve flickered as she gazed at Ilyas, her heart beating so fast that she could have sworn she heard it in her own ears. His words held a weight she couldn’t ignore. Did he know the extent of her memory loss? It was the only explanation for his persistence. But why did he care? What did it matter to him if her memory was faltering? It didn’t change her primary goal for the season — to secure a marriage. As her mother had often said when visiting her, one needn’t a perfect memory to lead a happy life with her husband. And… and perhaps her memories would return in time.
Despite her inner resolve, Aurelia couldn’t shake the nagging ache in her chest, a sense of loss for something she couldn’t quite grasp. She was navigating through unfamiliar territory, and it was making her feel more isolated than ever, even as she acted as if she was fine in front of the ton: pretending in front of her sister and brother… in front of those she held close to her heart. Aurelia yearned for a sense of familiarity in a world that seemed increasingly devoid of it… and part of her was realizing she may never find it.
"Tell me what’s happened, and together we can find a way to navigate it,” Ilyas urged.
Aurelia’s head dripped with disbelief, a soft chuckle escaping her lips as if the very idea of Ilyas Keats offering help were a joke. She leaned in closer, her voice a whispered veil intended only for his ears.
“In what world has Ilyas Keats ever done something for another out of the goodness of his heart? Beyond his closest friends, that is,” she inquired rhetorically. “You stand here flaunting your knowledge of my condition, for what purpose? To play the part of a caring soul? To feign concern only to later strip away the ground beneath my feet, relishing my fall as you’ve done countless times before? Listen well, Lord Keats. I don’t know how you stumbled upon the details of my situation, what rumors you heard that led you and your so-called friends to concoct this cruel experiment aimed at further unsettling my fragile memory. But I see through your facade. You care only for yourself. And for once, I’ll follow your lead, for I believe you’re right. I must navigate my life on my own as you so often have done. I truly can only trust myself in this world.”
Aurelia’s words held a biting edge, and she made her intentions clear. “Now leave me be, Lord Keats. I actually aim to find a match at this ball, unlike some, and make my family proud - something your parents are likely incapable of with you.”
As Aurelia watched Ilyas, a complex mix of emotions swirled within her. Her words had been like venom, but her heart ached with a strange sense of remorse. Unlike some, she possessed a kind soul that couldn’t help but feel the weight of her sharp words, even if they were spoken in self-defense. That ache in her chest lingered as she hoped he would soon leave her be, yearning for a moment of respite from the turmoil he had stirred within her. She felt as if she needed to breathe, as if she had been drowning from the moment he began speaking to her, and her senses felt numb. She needed him to leave so the air could finally meet her lungs… and hopefully soon, he would.
@Madilfill
@Kristi - Harrison mentioned if you squint
