This thread is for you to think about your own work with a critical hat on.
Pick specific things about your story that you think you could change.
Please don’t just say “my story is bad”. The best criticism gives you hints on how to grow and improve.
This is a chance for you to use your own critique to improve your writing skills. Feel free to add passages to give us a little bit of context so we know what you’re talking about! Just make sure you press “Hide Details” so that we aren’t bombarded with really long posts to scroll through.
I’m going to link my post “Cringey Cringe-Cringe” so you can have a look at what I’m talking about.
The story is at least 4 years old now, so bear with me!
Critique
I’m writing from the Third Person Close perspective, which means it’s very similar to first person. I’d already had the narrator express her feelings elsewhere, so I don’t need to write “she heard”. If I had just said “one of the police officers sucked in air sharply”, we would have still known that she was the one hearing this noise. So the “she heard” is unnecessary exposition.
You know where people say “Show, don’t tell”? Well, I decided to show and tell, for some reason. Any reasonable person would be able to understand that he was looking for something with the way he’s opening all his draws (should be drawers). Plus, he literally says “Where is it” in the next bloody line! The telling there was completely unnecessary.
Plus, he goes from bellowing to stopping and sighing really quickly without much of a reason why. It makes him seem a little bit unstable He’s not.
Ohh I just watched a video on this stuff!
One of the things she said was don’t use, “they saw, they heard, etc…” if it’s in like first person because you can assume that they’re the ones that heard it.
Yeeahhh it’s a great way to make your writing seem more confident and professional! I can’t remember if I’ve done a post on Show, Don’t Tell, but I should if I haven’t!
Does anyone else wanna find old work to critique? I’m sure I’m not the only one who hates their old stuff, and it’s very healthy to point out specific things you can work on instead of just overall hating on your work!
well, first I regret publishing it. its mafia story. I made it because it was popular not because I liked it.
I dont like to write these kinda stories. I dont know how to write this plot. (I have an only good positive feedback so I guess I am doing alright)
so where I think I am going wrong. is I can’t write bad guys. I just can’t write characters who are rude mean everyone just becomes too nice and friendly. which is not what you wanna see my LL he was suppose to be this bad guy type. he is not
Basically I had an episode story where the plot line was so bland. It was a cinderella story. It was just such a mess. The directing was mediocre, I barely understood what I was doing lol. But what was worse was the plot. I doubt anyone read past the first episode! God that was such a nightmare! I’ll try to find some cringey lines.
He’s not.
