Uhm, I guess it’s something pretty common having to apologize for something or getting an apology.
I just got confronterend with a situation in which someone apologized for something by just simply saying sorry and I am not sure if I should accept the apology since it doesn’t really feel genuine.
For me with an apology it’s more important that the person actually says what they could have done better instead of actually apologizing if that makes sense…
I was wondering how you guys feel about this, do you sometimes not accept an apology since it doesn’t feel genuine and what is the most important thing for you in an apology?
I don’t accept apologies easily mainly because I hate forgiving someone just for them to do the same thing again. You can’t just do something massive and then try to cover it up with empty words.
I think the most important thing in an apology is change. The person fully understands that what they did was wrong but are also willing to change their behaviour in the future.
Well I have mixed views I have spent most of my life apologizing for things I’ve “done wrong” except most of the time I don’t know what I’ve actually done wrong (usually it’s because I’ve said or done something without thinking). So when the apology does come it isn’t genuine because I don’t actually know what I’ve done wrong which does lead me to repeat the same thing which I have to keep apologizing for. If people were to explain why it was wrong then I wouldn’t do it again and the apology would be genuine.
However, on the occasion I do know what I’ve done wrong I apologize and try my best to actually make it up to the person. It’s easier to learn from my mistake if I know what is wrong in my actions.
As for recieving apologies I forgive easily, but don’t forget.
So I think the important thing as well is to tell the person specifically what it is you are upset with them about. You might think “well it’s obvious” it isn’t always obvious. It can be obvious for example saying a mean thing like an insult, that’s obvious. But it isn’t always obvious and sometimes things do need explaining. I’m a person not a mind reader . I don’t wake up in the morning wanting to upset people so if I do it’s awful and I feel terrible, I don’t want to do it again so I need you to tell me.
its more because its kinda been abusived in my family. and by that I mean my step and I will had fight I no matter whos fault it was (usally him) I was the one who had to say sorry.
I become pretty good at it but its very rare I am actually are sorry
So you can never actually tell if someone is being ‘genuine’ with an apology. We put a lot of stock in motivation when we can’t actually tell what someone’s motivation is. It’s impossible to accurately gauge whether or not someone’s apology is genuine, you can only feel that it’s good enough.
So the best way to go about is to just never trust anyone and never accept apologies
I’ll gladly apologise if I know what I did, but some people just demand apologies when it’s not necessary and I just say. “Tough sh,t - you ain’t getting one.” And walk away.
I won’t apologise if I’m not sorry because what’s the point in that? That’s the reason you even have to think about it not being sincere in the first place - when people are fake apologising.
Someone told me to apologise to them for dating their crush. I’d spoke to this person what, 5 times and they expected me to apologise for something I didn’t know about?!
I basically told them to suck it and walked away… no regrets there
Agreed. The very fact that you need an apology is just petty. Words don’t really mean anything to me if there’s nothing behind them. I’ve been called rude for this and maybe I was, yeah but at least I’m honest enough to say it
Yeah some people just say it so people will stop being mad at them
But tbh it annoys me when somebody makes a really big deal out of something but don’t actually tell me what I did wrong yet still expect me to apologise.
I hate it when a teacher grabs two people who are arguing and forces them to apologise to each other.
Today, a girl at school grabbed something I was drawing off of my desk and ‘accidentally’ ripped it to pieces. I’d been working on it for a few days now so I screamed at her and the teacher marched over and demanded I apologised
. I don’t wake up in the morning wanting to upset people so if I do it’s awful and I feel terrible, I don’t want to do it again so I need you to tell me.