Discussion: borrowing and lending money

The Hangout Discuss
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It’s a subject that can cause arguments. Recently I’ve realised I’ve lent out way more money then I’ve got back, I’ve also witnessed my friend in the same predicament, people just taking our money and saying they’ll pay us back later. It’s something that’s always confused me because whenever I borrow money, I always pay it back or give them something of equivalent value. So I’m going to ask you guys some questions and I’m interested to hear your answers.

  • Have you ever lent anybody any money?
  • Did you get it back?
  • If yes how long did it take?
  • If no how long was it until you gave up?
  • Would you ever lend money again?

If you haven’t lent anybody any money then answer these questions:

  • Would you ever lend your friends money?
  • Would you care if they didn’t give it back?

Now for some questions about borrowing money:

  • Have you ever borrowed money?
  • Did you give it back?

I understand that this can be quite a personal topic so I’m not asking for anyone to reveal the amount they borrowed or gave out or any specific details. I just want to know if there is any method I can use to get my money back or if there is an average period of time after which I should give up.

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Yup. Usually, it was if the person is going to buy something so it’s my contribution or if they were running a bit low.

Depended on who it was…

A few days.

A month.

Nope!

Yes.

Yes. It only took me a while if I genuinely forgot or if it was a fairly big amount.

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Usually this is where I let people off, especially if it’s food related.

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I used to borrow money to anyone who asked me as long as I knew that I would see them again, because most of the people would do the same for me.

Not always but like ~80% of the time, which is okay, because I’m sure that I might also have forgotten to return something once. :no_mouth:

It’s always different. The shortest time was 3 hours, the longest was something around 1 1/2 years. :woman_shrugging:

I only didn’t get my money back in some cases, because that person was no longer in my life and I still remember every cent that they owe me… :no_mouth:

It depends on the person, I know some people who will never return it, so I always pretend that I don’t have money with me. But if a good friend asked me, I wouldn’t hesitate to lend them some money as long as I knew what they needed it for. :blush:

Yes, but only small amounts and only when I needed it urgently

Most of it. I still owe a boy 0,60 € but I will never see him again, so I will have to live with that guilt… :no_mouth:

The best method is to remind them at least once a week to return it, this way soon everyone will know that they will have to return your money, so you will get it back in most cases.
I think that you should only give up if it’s a very small amount or if you know that you’ll never see the person again. After all, you had to work for that money, so why should you give it away?
But that’s just my personal opinion and I know lots of people who think that I’m too strict when it comes to borrowing money. :woman_shrugging: :sparkles:

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Yeah. If someone needs like 10p for a snack I wouldn’t mind but it would make me a bit upset if they kept asking me for money to buy their food.

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It’s the taking advantage that rubs me off the wrong way. I couldn’t afford a water in high school once so my friend gave me one, it was 60p and it’s very rare I’d ask for anything. But for other people she was barely eating and buying everybody elses lunch all the time.

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I don’t think you’re too strict. You’re right it is your money.

I may not have worked for my money, it’s my pocket money which I save up and once it’s gone it’s gone. I can usually make it last because I love saving up money especially after birthdays. I was able to afford my own bass guitar (they aren’t cheap) but it’s still my money and nobody else it entitled to it.

I feel more bad for the people who do work though because they’ve really earned it so for people to take advantage of that it really sucks. I’m grateful that I get pocket money because I know alot of kids don’t get it that easily which is why I don’t go on huge spending sprees, I save up. I don’t have enough money to keep lending it out though.

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I don’t even get pocket money, I only get 10€ each month to buy myself lunch so I’m always extra careful with borrowing money.
One of the biggest problems is that those people who borrow money often don’t understand that I don’t have to borrow them anything and start taking it for granted. That’s one of the reasons why I got stricter with borrowing money. It was really hard at first because everyone still thought that it was like my obligation to give them money, but they accepted it after a lot of time.

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Tbh they’re the same kind of people who will start trying to take your food the minute you open the packet

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I’ve never really lent money before, but I have given my friends extra money and let them keep it when they paid too much for me.

I have borrowed money before and I have given it back, and I always pay it back. I do this a lot with my parents since I don’t have a credit card yet. Lol my parents have this board where they show what we owe them, and I paid my stuff back, but my siblings still have to pay their stuff back and it’s been weeks lmao.

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My parents will buy me things I need or they’ll treat me if I’ve been doing well in class (they email my teachers) but I give them the monsy for the things that I want ordering online because even though I have a bank account I’m not old enough to make online purchases from certain websites.

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That’s true, I still only eat a third of my lunch, because I keep giving it away…
It’s harder to say no when they can see that you have the thing they want. I always say that I don’t have enough money with me as an excuse, but I can’t do that when they see my full lunchbox…
And I also had people who said that I was rude for wanting to keep my food, but refused to share theirs when I forgot my lunch, I just don’t understand those people :roll_eyes: :woman_facepalming:

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I don’t understand them either. With the food or the money. When I was in year 11 (15-16) a kid in year 7 (11-12) saw me eating my lunch then started asking for some and grabbing at it, I barely knew this kid! And with money, I used to keep it in my phone case in case of emergency and this boy kept asking me for it, he’d never say why though.

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Oof I think that’s just rude! I never ask for food even if I really want it and I see people handing it out, unless it’s a close friend. I just think it’s disrespectful, like, let them eat in peace.

I used to go to a school where we had like snacks after lunch during this quiet reading time and after school I would have this acting club so when I went there I would always bring extra snacks for the people that forgot theirs or didn’t have any. Usually I saved my snacks from the quiet reading time so that I would have extra to give out while having some for my self.

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Have you ever lent anybody any money?
Yes.
Did you get it back?
Sometimes.
If yes how long did it take?
Most times it’s between one day and a few weeks.
If no how long was it until you gave up?
Usually in a few months time.
Would you ever lend money again?
No.
Have you ever borrowed money?
Only from my parents. :rofl::orange_heart:

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Yep, I’ve lent my brother a security deposit for an apartment right when he graduated uni and my mom was sick of paying his bills. I’ve also just given him money because he’s my little brother.

And recently, in a weird reversal of roles, I’ve lent my mom a significant amount of money.

Yep, my brother paid me back the security deposit!

And my mom’s paid me back two out of 6 installments.

I think my brother paid me back after a few paychecks, so maybe 3 months? It was honestly, faster than I was expecting.

And my mom’s paying me back within like 9 months, hopefully.

To my brother? Probably. I think I had a lot of advantages being the first born and kind of my dad’s favorite so I feel guilty about that. Like, my dad paid for most of my college but made my brother take out more loans because he didn’t have much money left and even just a few year later, tuition had increased 15k a year (thanks private colleges). Which, I know it’s not my fault, but not having big loans allowed me to take jobs I believed in, more than just chasing a paycheck like many of my peers.

To my mom? Yeah, I also feel guilty because she gave me everything I needed while growing up, even when she didn’t have the money. She was the only one who worked all throughout my life and she’s still working and not able to retire and I feel guilty about that since I’m more financially comfortable than my mom right now and that’s a weird feeling…

Yep, I borrowed the security deposit from my mom when my ex-boyfriend and I broke up and I couldn’t afford to move out of our apartment so I kept living with him for like 3 months til I found a super cheap place I could almost afford like 8 years ago…

Yep, paid it back in a few months. But I realize how lucky I was to have that safety net, borrowing money is a real luxury.

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So this is interesting. I have both borrowed and lent money before. I’ve never had a particularly bad experience with it though. I dunno if I just had good friends, but I’d never expect to get the money back or be expected to give it back in most of the transactions I’ve had with this.

Most of the time it’s a ‘here, let me help you out here!’ And also a couple of times for things like food and such. I’ve only ever felt bad for it when told I should feel bad by others too, so I guess that’s just peer pressure :man_shrugging:

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  • Have you ever lent anybody any money?
    Yup
  • Did you get it back?
    Yes and No
  • If yes how long did it take?
    Some a few weeks, some a few months and some year(s)
  • If no how long was it until you gave up?
    After a year. I just stopped bringing it up although I think about it a lot lol.
  • Would you ever lend money again?
    Only to my siblings and my parents and even then I’ll still be a bit hesitant

I don’t borrow money since I really hate owing people money. It’s only recently that I borrowed a small amount of money from my sister but she offered to lend me the money as I’m always lending her money when she needs it. I’ve got a job now so I’ll pay her back.

My experience with lending hasn’t been all positive and people are so fast to borrow money but when it’s time to pay you back, they’re so hesitant and giving all that attitude about it’s just this much money you’ll get your money back, damn even though they have the money now. You said you you’ll pay me back at this time so give me my money. I guess I kinda gave a rant here but it just really drives me over the edge. I don’t play with my money that I’ve worked hard for.

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Yes , I have lent people money but only a few.

Yes ? Unless I’m out to eat dinner with someone and I cover the bill. In that case they just pay me back with buying me dinner the next time we go out. So I have always received some equivalent to what I lend to someone.

Usually between 1-3 days after lending the money.

Only to those who I trust will pay me back.

Yes , I have but on rare occasions since I usually have enough on hand.

Yep, everytime usually on the same day as well.

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Only when for example a friend needed it to actually be able to lunch something. But always small amounts. Oh, and I paid when we went out for dinner once cause my parents thought the other would pay :woman_facepalming:

Sometimes if it was a little higher amount, but if it’s less than 2 euros I usually said it was okay :woman_shrugging:

Next day or at least the same week

One time with 5 euro’s I gave up after asking the 3rd week in a row, but I know I shouldn’t have given it in first place

Why not? But as long as I trust the person enough

Definitely, but most of the time from my parents or close friends

With my friends always, even if they said it was okay, with my parents nah, but that’s cause they literally wouldn’t take the money back in some cases

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