I was 22 and I was super self-conscious about it at the time. All my friends had “lost” theirs well before me (I don’t know anyone personally who’s waiting until marriage).
But in hindsight, it really wasn’t a big deal. I’m glad I waited, even though my first time wasn’t “special” at all. I kind of lost it in a “I want to get this over with” kind of moment 
but I don’t regret that either because it was by choice 
.
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Idk if waiting for marriage is the best idea… simply because you could find that one of you is asexual or something like that, or one person has way more expectation of sex or something.
And then what? They’re married already!
But I don’t think it’s right for people to judge other people over whether they have had sex or not, idk even know what the best option is.
I just want to avoid unexpected pregnancy tbh, like, I’m not having sex until both me and my partner like have a talk about what if I get pregnant after and stuff. I’d really want to trust the person I’m going into it with, and right now I don’t even know if I even want to have sex, so all of this could be off the table.
Probably would do it with someone I was in a trusted relationship with if I was comfortable with it, then I could find out what my limitations were and if I had any problem with it or something. But I’m not going to feel self concious if I don’t wait for marriage or if I do, both are good options and both have bad sides too. Just don’t expect other people to wait for marriage or have sex or something.
Also, don’t have sex underage, just don’t. In the US even if you are consenting and doing it with someone your own age, that’s illegal, for us, you have to wait till you’re like 17 to actually have sex legally. It’s called the Romeo and Juliet law.
Oh yeah and also obviously I’m a virgin, probably gonna be forever or for a long time until I decide what I’m comfortable with.
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i’m obviously a virgin, considering both my age & self confidence.
virginity is… so stupid. not being a virgin yourself, or losing it before marriage, but the idea. my parents always shamed girls who lost it earlier, calling them sluts, or other derogatory terms since they seemed comfortable with their sexuality. i get the need to protect your child from unwanted pregnancy, diseases, etc., but… it will always be their choice.
i think anyone should be able to have sex with whomever they want, whenever they want (of course the other person has to give full consent–that should go without saying), & feel comfortable enough to tell someone they feel cared about around.
don’t even get me started on how society views virginity and sex. “oh, you had sex? disgusting… you’re barely an adult!” or “you haven’t had sex? why… you’re seriously waiting until you find someone?” just don’t feel the need to bring that into every conversation!
i think having sex, at least one time before marriage, is a good idea. there needs to be a physical spark–connection, if both feel comfortable with that. for me? i’d have to make sure i feel comfortable with my body. i couldn’t even picture myself having sex.
make sure you’re in a safe place, mentally, physically, socially, health, and whatever else. it’s not something that should/will define you as a human being.
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I don’t get why people get shamed for being a virgin and shamed for not being a virgin. Lol, you can’t have it both ways. 
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Exactly.
Remember, just because you had sex doesn’t mean you’re a slut; just because you’re a virgin doesn’t mean you’re a saint.
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See, while I do personally agree, this can invariably lead to problems. Lots of people thinking this way leads to things like abstinence-only sex education and stuff like that. Also, when the age of consent varies so wildly from country to country (14 in some places, 16 in some, 18 in others, 20 in a couple), you get people trying to say that their arbitrary law is the morally correct one, which just invites a whole host of other problems.
Learning to drive, getting a job, owning a house and having a bank account are all way more dangerous than sex, and yet people can do those earlier in most countries than have sex? Where’s the logic?
The fact is, sex happens. People feel ready at different rates. Shaming people for having it early (Trust me, it doesn’t take a huge leap from what you’re saying to shaming) causes steep rises in STDs and unwanted teen pregnancies. That’s just fact
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I mean, I’d never shame anyone for doing it, I just think that it’s a good idea for them to not do it then. Like I feel like people shouldn’t be shamed into doing it that early.
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I didn’t say you would, I said it’s not a large leap. Like, you say ‘not a good idea’ and ‘shouldn’t’, so what are you saying about the people who do? Not a leap =P
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I’m being a little unfair, these are anti-purity culture arguments I’m pulling out, but the point stands. When you say people ‘shouldn’t be doing’ something, you need to think about what you’re saying about the people who do. You’re shaming them
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And for a crime, that’s good! Consensual sex getting teens jail time though? Do we wanna encourage that?
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Lol idk, I’m a teen myself, I’d just rather advise people against it but then if they do it, then I’ll assume that they were like careful with it and let them live their lives and I just frankly don’t really care after they’ve done it, it’s just that if someone has the wrong idea about sex or is uneducated, I’d want to advise them to wait until they are a little older and understand more about it.
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Or educate them properly, the thing that’s proven to reduce teen pregnancy and STDs.
Like I said, I’m not accusing you of anything. I just think it’s good to think about how small a leap it takes to get to sketchy territory
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Hang on, I think it’ll make sense if I tell you that it’s illegal in America to have sex under 16 years of age.
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It’s illegal here too. But people still do it.
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Yeah, but I don’t advise people to do illegal things, even if people still do it (cuz they still do it here too).
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So what does that say about the people who do if you ‘advise against it’? Is it inherently morally wrong? Are they bad, somehow? Dirty?
I hope you’re seeing how it’s not a large leap in the slightest
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Yeah I don’t either specifically but I feel like it’s one of those laws where you just think to yourself why report this? as long as both people involved are consenting and ideally both around the same age.
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Well I’m going to tell people not to do illegal things, but it’s not my business if they actually do them.
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I know this makes people feel weird, but age of consent is arbitrary. Do I think we should have a legal age of consent? Yes! God, yes! But is it a hard and fast rule that means if someone goes against it consensually they are a criminal? WTF no, that’s ridiculous. Comparing two people who are underage performing any sexual act in a completely consensual way to stealing, rape, or murder is frankly ludicrous.
Do I like thinking about this? No, I’m a freaking adult, it makes me feel weird too. But we need to talk about this because people keep going in the wrong direction with it.
“Ignore it and it’ll go away”. No, it won’t. You need to address it
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I’ve never actually been given the talk so to speak. I pretty much just picked things up as I went along. My Mum just told me to wait until I’m ready and that I’ll know when I am ready. I don’t like when people give me sex advice when I haven’t asked for any and I don’t like being treated like a child because I’m slightly innocent to it. I may be innocent but I’m not stupid.
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