I just think nobody should be made to feel less than someone else for the way they view virginity. If someone thinks that virginity is a big deal then they should feel that way freely but they shouldn’t look down on someone who doesn’t. Similarly with someone who doesn’t, they shouldn’t feel the need to look down and mock someone who believes that virginity is something special.
I just want a lot of people to know that your virginity really doesn’t determine your value.
For a long time, with the environment I’ve been raised in virginity has been a really big deal and in a way, some people do look down on you when they find out that you’re no longer a virgin. I lost my virginity sometime this year (no regrets at all lol) and it really was not that big of a deal. Also turns out that I didn’t even have a hymen but that’s a little extra information. What I’ll say is that just make sure that you’re ready to do it. Make it your decision and not anyone else’s.
Thank you for reading lol.
By arbitrary what do you mean?
Personally, I think they should change the age of consent, because in America, that’s the legal age for a lot of things. Including the adult film industry, but that’s another album for another year.
Arbitrary as in it’s not hard and fast. There’s nothing intrinsic or natural about the legal age of consent, it’s a social construct that was made because it’s the most efficient way of handling things without actually needing to talk about the issues.
This isn’t a simple issue, and it’s not black and white. There are complexities and nuances that people ignore because it makes them feel funny
So the age of consent can’t be simplified?
No it really can’t, the rate at which people become mentally and physically ready for sex varies too wildly. However, making a strict age of cut off for when it is not okay for someone above that age to date someone below it works in society. That isn’t about nature or biology or anything like that, it’s about power dynamics. That’s very different to two people of the same age engaging in consensual acts
But the fact that this is a discussion at all proves it isn’t black and white
I don’t really think that 10 year olds are ready for sex and can properly consent to having sex, which is why we have these types of laws.
Now that I think about it, that is incredibly complicated.
What would you propose to change about that?
I mean statistically speaking, 10 year-olds aren’t physically ready for sex, that’s why I’ve explicitly been saying young teens, not children. That’s a different story that I completely agree with you on.
10-year-olds often aren’t physically developed (I’m talking about puberty, some do start early though) so I can’t disagree with that.
I mean even young teens, let’s say 13, I think aren’t ready for sex either. I can’t exactly comment on older teens because I myself am still a teen.
Having a legal age of consent doesn’t need to change. We just need our mentality towards sex when teaching it to teens to change drastically. Good sex education is literally the best answer, it solves everything. Teaching teens that sex isn’t this mystical unknowable thing is the first step. Teaching them not to value themselves only for their virginity. Hell, even teach them that sex is a good and sometimes very important part of a healthy relationship.
Teaching young teens about sex is important because they have biological urges that they don’t fully understand and it’s becoming increasingly clear that parents are not doing a good job educating their children about this.
You cannot change the fact that these urges are there, and they are perfectly natural
Right so, same argument. What does that say about 13-14 year-olds who feel ready? What’s the logical leap to take from what it is you’re saying?
I would always teach to make sure you know you feel ready, do not feel you need to rush into it, but in the end, the decision is ultimately yours.
Telling people what they are and are not ready for for them is patronising
How do you know you’re ready?
I mean a part of being ready for it is knowing about it, so I can’t comment much on it but I would say that they shouldn’t go into it not knowing a lot about it and rushing into it, that’s when I say that they’re not ready.
But the problem is a lot of schools, especially in urban communities, don’t have that kind of education. And if they do, it’s mostly, “if you do this, then this happens”. What do you think of that approach to sex education? In my opinion, it’s kinda patronising and almost makes teens feel like kids who know nothing.
You can’t know, no-one can. You feel it. If you have doubts? Then you have doubts, you’re not sure. Those are the cases where having a legal age of consent come in handy, but it can also be a detriment for people who still don’t feel ready or aren’t sure after that. They may start to feel like they’re somehow wrong or different.
Feelings are weird, you can never really pin them down
Exactly, good sex education is the way forward, I’m glad we agree
Not in-depth enough. It sounds a lot like abstinence-only to me. If you have sex, you’ll get pregnant and die type stuff
It’s also a bit iffy because they may only feel like they want to have sex because everyone else is doing it or something.