Hey everybody!
I figured I should make this thread as a way to inform people who may not know what gaslighting is.
This is the definition from google “manipulate (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.”
The origin of the term comes from a 1944 film called “Gaslight” about a Man who manipulates his wife into thinking she is going insane.
Effectively gaslighting is making somebody believe that they are making things up and imagining things. It’s a very serious form of psychological abuse and it definitely not something to be taken lightly.
This is a thread to talk about it but please try to keep it as considerate as possible, don’t mention methods of how to gaslight somebody as this may be triggering for some people. You can talk about what it is without saying ways of doing it.
This is very emotionally abusive. It’s really wrong and people who gaslight may just make you look like the gaslighter.
It’s even worse when you come out as a victim of different kinds of assault and the perpetrator gaslights you about it. Can be seen in sexual assaults when the victim comes out and the perpetrator gaslights them, typically in the sexual coercion form of rape.
Yeah I’ve definitely done this unintenionally. Can gaslighting also be when you’re arguing with a person and they try to make you believe your argument is wrong or that you’re a terrible person when really you’re the right one in the situation? Cuz I think that’s kinda what I thought it meant before.
So it depends on the context, a person can claim you’re a terrible person without making you believe it so I would honestly say it depends on the situation it always depends on the situation
Being gaslighted is a horrible feeling. The insecurity and doubt it puts on your own voice is harmful, it makes you fear of speaking up when it’s necessary to because you’ll be afraid that you’ll be saying may be damaging when it may not not even be your fault
It’s definitely painful. Even worse I assume coming from someone you love and or had put your trust in, and they did something to break it and you get a gas-lit response.
Being gaslighted takes away your confidence. Especially in people who don’t have self love yet, they’re even more vulnerable to being emotionally abused this way
2 years ago.
Telling me that my other friends were rude, everyday. I would go along with it. I would believe it. And at that time I thought that I could identify a toxic relationship.
I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I’ve been gaslighted significantly, but I’m just noticing how common it is. I’ve seen teachers gaslight students and parents gaslight their children. It’s a pretty horrible thing and makes the gaslighted lose their sense of self. Also, it really irks me when people falsely accuse others of gaslighting as a form of defense
Gaslighting is a horrible thing and unfortunately it’s so normalised that so many people don’t even realise it’s happening, and often when they do they’re already traumatised by it.
I unfortunately have a lot of experience with gaslighting in the past and deal with it on a day-to-day basis (I still live with my abusers), but I can share some common and lesser-known examples of this form of emotional abuse.
Some examples:
Denial of past events. “That never happened”, “That’s not how it happened” “I never said that” “It wasn’t that serious” “You’re over-reacting” “It wasn’t my fault” (Often accompanied by “omg” “Jesus christ” “calm down” and many eye rolls)
Claiming that you are going crazy. This is used in retaliation to claims made by the victim about past events or situations.
The abuser may love bomb someone to make them feel guilty or confused after the abuser did something abusive. (eg, my mother would often take us out and give us treats and be extremely nice to us after (TW - Threat) threatening to kill one of us only a day or two before
The abuser may downplay your experience with phrases like “It wasn’t like that” or “It’s not that serious”. (Eg, my father would say things like, “stop being a baby” or “I barely touched you” or “why are you crying” after hitting one of us)
The abuser may blame their actions on the victim. “You made me angry” “That was your fault” “Why did you do that?” “You only ot hurt because you…” “Well it wasn’t my fault” This is exceptionally common as the abuser doesn’t want to have to feel guilty for their actions
Gaslighting often comes hand-in-hand with guilt-tripping, love-bombing and the abuser victimising themselves
but idk-
it always depends on the situation