DOMINANCE: Description Help

Writing Desk Archive
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asmirandah.regular (1)

I’m currently working on a story called “Dominance”, I need help on the description and I was wondering if you guys would give me your opinions on it. Thank you very much for those who decide to help.

Aaliyah moved away from Red Creek two years ago due to a terrible incident that Ryan had control over. She has now moved back, and Ryan wants forgiveness from her, she wants nothing to with him. Ryan said he would do ANYTHING for her to talk to him, so she takes on the deal. Anything she wants, when she wants it. But Ryan’s girlfriend is not too fond of that and she goes crazy and all that, and tries to ruin Aaliyah’s life.

I would also very much love feedback on my character Aaliyah. Tell me the word you first think of when you see her.

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I don’t think she should accept Ryan back into her life. He screwed her over

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She looks kinda hippy. I dig it

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:joy: Do you know anyways I can shorten the description and make it better?

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Possibly. What’s the maximum ?

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180 letters

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Oh. I can work with this. :thinking: do you want me to try now or have you figured it out?

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Haven’t figured it out :sweat:

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Oof okay, I’ll give it a go then

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Aaliyah departed Red Creek two years ago due to a incident controlled by Ryan. Now she returns and Ryan seeks forgiveness, but she wants nothing to do with him. Ryan pledges he will do ANYTHING to be friends again, and she accepts. But Ryan’s girlfriend soon hears of this, and she is out for blood…

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I love it. I love it. I love it. You are amazing, anyone ever tell you that today? If not, I did!

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Make sure it’s short enough first :sweat_smile:

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I figure it out if it doesn’t, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time out of your day to help me.

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NP, I’ll gladly take an excuse to stop archiving roleplays for 5 minutes :sweat_smile::joy:

Fingers crossed it works :crossed_fingers:

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@AMagic are you still looking for advice or would you like this thread to be closed?

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I liked some more advice on my charcter since I was asking for more than one thing.

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She seems outspoken and funny to me. :cloud:

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She looks like a friendly and confident person with a good sense of humour to me :eyes::sparkles::green_heart:

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You’re still working on this story right? Let me know when it comes out I’d finally have something to read in awhile. Also bump.

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I would… But my laptop has to be repaired after I got water on it from trying to change the song while I was showering :joy::sweat_smile:

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