Penny and Anna were arguing a lot, and one day, Penny stole the jacket Anna’s deceased mother gave her out of her locker, and a week later, when someone found it, Anna found out, and Anna ended up talking to Eli in the campus garden. And at this point Anna’s crushing on Eli
Later That Day Anna in the campus garden Eli walks up
Eli: Hi Ann… Anna excited to see Eli, but calms herself
Anna: Hi.
Eli: I heard about what happened…
Eli: Are you alright?
Anna: Yeah, I’m fine.
Anna: I just can’t believe Penny would do that to me.
Eli: I’m sorry, Anna.
Anna: At least I know her true colors now.
Eli: Yeah. Eli gives Anna a hug
Eli: Everything’s gonna be okay, Ann.
Anna: Why can’t I just have a normal life?
Eli: I don’t know
Eli: Anna?
Anna:Yeah?
Eli: I-
Eli: I-
Anna: What is it, Eli?
Eli: I love you!
Anna: Y-You love me?
Eli: Yeah Anna blushes
Anna: narrating As soon as she said that, I felt butterflies in my stomach.
Anna: narrating And I started imagining what a relationship with Eli would be like.
There’s something in counselling that I learnt from Cinema Therapy called “shelving your agenda”. It’s when someone’s clearly upset, so you put the things that you’re thinking about on the back burner. You put them to the side for now, help the person who’s upset and then when they feel better, you can bring It up again
It’s when you think “she’s clearly upset, so now isn’t the time to bring up the fact that I love her. I’ll talk to her about it later”. Right now, Eli looks kinda selfish because she’s just ignored the fact that she’s upset like “I don’t know. But let’s change the subject because what I’m thinking about is more important”. That’s not a good look on a love interest
That wasn’t the goal, but I didn’t really know much of how to make it better when I wrote this the first time. How would YOU suggest for her to bring it up properly?
I would actually suggest that she is really upset and he gets super defensive of her, saying that he’s she’s not going to let Penny get away with this, that he she needs her to not be upset and he’d she’d do anything to make her feel better. Then, when she asks why it matters so much to him her, he she can then admit how he she feels
And the main reason this scene needs the confession, is in this episode, they become a couple. But how’s this…
Later That Day Anna in the campus garden Eli walks up
Eli: Hi Ann… Anna excited to see Eli, but calms herself
Anna: Hi.
Eli: I heard about what happened…
Eli: Are you alright?
Anna: Yeah, I’m fine.
Anna: I just can’t believe Penny would do that to me.
Eli: I’m sorry, Anna.
Anna: At least I know her true colors now.
Eli: Yeah. Eli gives Anna a hug
Eli: Everything’s gonna be okay, Ann.
Anna: Why can’t I just have a normal life?
Eli: Anna, look at me. Anna looks up at Eli
Anna: Penny is a monster, and she doesn’t deserve you. Anna tries not to blush, and smiles
Eli: Anna?
Anna:Yeah?
Eli: I-
Eli: I-
Anna: What is it, Eli?
Eli: I love you!
Anna: Y-You love me?
Eli: Yeah Anna blushes
Anna: narrating As soon as she said that, I felt butterflies in my stomach.
Anna: narrating And I started imagining what a relationship with Eli would be like.
Hmm I’m still not sure about it. I think you need to make the scene a little longer. Have Eli get really upset. Say she’s gonna end Penny or something. Then have Anna say “you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle myself” and Eli says “I always worry about you”
Eli says some stuff about how she’s not going to let Penny get away with it
Anna: Eli, I’m ok, really. I can deal with Penny. You don’t have to worry.
I kinda like the oringinal dialouge for the confession itself, but I understand.
Later That Day Anna in the campus garden Eli walks up
Eli: Hi Ann… Anna excited to see Eli, but calms herself
Anna: Hi.
Eli: I heard about what happened…
Eli: Are you alright?
Anna: Yeah, I’m fine.
Anna: I just can’t believe Penny would do that to me.
Eli: I’m sorry, Anna.
Anna: At least I know her true colors now.
Eli: Yeah. Eli gives Anna a hug
Eli: Everything’s gonna be okay, Ann.
Anna: Why can’t I just have a normal life?
Eli: Anna, look at me. Anna looks up at Eli
Anna: Penny is a monster, and she doesn’t deserve you. Anna tries not to blush, and smiles
Eli: And I won’t let her get away with how she treated you.
Anna: Why?
Eli: Because you mean a lot to me.
Anna: (What…)
Eli: Anna?
Anna:Yeah?
Eli: I-
Eli: I-
Anna: What is it, Eli?
Eli: I love you!
Anna: Y-You love me?
Eli: Yeah Anna blushes
Anna: narrating As soon as she said that, I felt butterflies in my stomach.
Anna: narrating And I started imagining what a relationship with Eli would be like.