How do you choose your friends?

People tell me a lot I’m a pretty extroverted indivual. So I usually find myself talking and cracking jokes with a lot of people.

But for me, I’d say I have a few close friends rather than a bunch of friends. To me, friends are people you need to be able to trust. They’re people you can easily talk to about anything, not fake or manipulative or controlling or mentally abusive. In any relationship really, no one should ever be controlling the other. They’re also good with not having to speak every day and suddenly question, “oh man goodness…she ain’t my friend no more…shes backstabbing me…” so back to that trust thing XD but defintely work on both sides, and talking just comes naturally. They’re ok with your weirdness, your quirks, and your flaws. And they’re there for you :woman_shrugging:

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I usually wait for them to approach me but when I’m on my drugs I muster every ounce of courage the divine being above has bestowed on me and I approach them. If I start having a conversation in my head then I know we ain’t gonna last but if I am truly invested I’ll talk and if it’s easy to communicate with the person without having to constantly check myself and surroundings then I know we are going to be friends.

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I feel like half of the time I don’t pick my friends, my friends claim me. At least that’s how it was with one friend I made in high school. We’re very opposite. She is more extroverted and not calm or focused at all. We talked some and she kinda claimed me. People who are not calm and focused like I am seem to be drawn towards me for some reason…

Mainly though, I don’t really look to make friends. Some I’ve made because they lived across the street from me so we would play together, then a couple of guys, that are kinda like siblings for me, I know because our moms know each other. Otherwise it takes me a while to be comfortable around someone. It takes quite a while of just talking and finding common interests for me to start thinking of them as a friend. (But I also count people as acquaintances at a point when most would say friends)

my taste in friends has definitely been iffy over the years lol ik that

now i just look for loyal and accountable ppl who i vibe with

well said

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Bump!

Okay, so either I approach her/him or he/she approaches me but if we have a good connection towards each other and we understand each other’s problems. We have to act like our normal selves and not trying to impress each other by acting like someone else. If they are a true friend and not someone who goes behind your back to gossip. If they avoid conversations were people talk about me and if they are someone that cares about me and can risk anything to protect me and keep me happy. I look at their personality basically when choosing friends. If we help each other through struggles, when we need a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with or when we are angry at someone. Of course, when it comes to friendship, there are different responsibilities we have, we always know that there will be an argument one way or the other but it shouldn’t escalate to cause a problem. You need a friend who you can share your secrets with and make sure it is secured. You need a friend who wouldn’t judge you for anything you do. Overall, you need a friend who will be with you through every step you go through. :wink:

I want to say more but this is enough! :sweat_smile:

@SkyWalker

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I’m very picky with it comes to friends, that’s why I don’t have friends in the first place lol.

I don’t think there are specific things as a trait, as long as you’re nice to me, theb you’re fine.

And no, I’m horrible at choosing friends.

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We aren’t friends? :pleading_face::broken_heart::eyes::sparkles:

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This is quite an interesting one because I’ve spent time with no friends so I got to a stage where anyone would become my friend if they just let me sit with them :sweat_smile: that resulted in me landing in a few toxic friendships which I got out of too late.

But now after learning, I do have some specifications:

  1. I don’t care about being texted back right away or being left on read. It’s the way I feel after they do it. If I feel “oh yeah fair enough they probably don’t have the energy to text back right now” and I genuinely feel that way, then they go up in the friendship book. If I feel stressed and paranoid then I need to think of why they are making me feel that way.

  2. Ideally we should have at least some common interests, I don’t demand everybody likes the same things as me. More just that they aren’t rude to me if I do have different interests.

  3. They don’t f*ck with my head. Being social is hard enough for me anyway since it’s tiring, I’m overthinking, I don’t actually know what’s going on half the time.

  4. They respect my personal boundries, I had this problem with a small group of friends and despite the amount of times I said “I don’t like being touched and I’m not great with loud noises” they proceeded to poke me, screech and hug me :slightly_smiling_face:

  5. They make me feel included, they ask me for my opinions or they invite me to stuff instead of just assuming I’ll say no. They listen to me when I’m talking just like I listen to them.

  6. They don’t make comments on my eating or food choices while I’m eating or put any pressure on me or stress while I am eating. I know I look weird eating in public, that’s because I hate it :slightly_smiling_face: I have to eat slowly so I can keep it down.

  7. They don’t attempt to “one up” me all the time

If they fit this, they are probably gonna be people I hold close.

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lmao

I mean, irl friends.

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Oh :eyes::eyes:
I should move somewhere close to your house, so we can be friends irl too :smiley_cat::green_heart::eyes::sparkles:

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Move into his house

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I don’t choose friends tbh. They kinda choose me, cuz I’m too shy to get to know them more after one conversation.

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They have to be crazy/weird like me and they also have to be funny. IF THEY’RE NOT ANY OF THOSE I WILL WALK AWAY IMMEDIATELY jhwdnkfnk. :slightly_smiling_face:

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What do you mean?

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Turning things into a competition

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Same lol

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I don’t really make friends that easily and if I do I just don’t speak to them unless they reach out first because I’m shy and can’t keep a conversation going for dear life… So, yeah, I don’t really have friends lol
For some reason, there are people that like me at first and actually try to be my friend so I kinda stick with them. But the thing is, I really do like everyone and I don’t have any standards, as long as they aren’t mean and actually show some interest

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Lately I’ve been picking friends judging by what they reply to “do you like ducks?” :eyes::sparkles:

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