I was going through my character notes while I was editing my story to make sure I didn’t deviate from her original character idea when I noticed I didn’t have enough research on Apthiosexual people. I did a little internet deep dive and realised I made the stereotypical sex-repulsed character (I didn’t make her nauseated at everything tho, I just didn’t give the extent of how she was affected so she seemed inconsistent).
I checked Shannii’s blog to see if she had anything but there wasn’t so, I decided to reach out to the community. I was wondering if we had apthiosexual people on the forums or someone who knows anyone that is apthiosexual and can give me proper information on them?
I’m going to share my experience in general; maybe it will be helpful.
I’ve crushed on guys since I was in middle school, but whenever someone mentioned anything sex-related, I was like… ‘Ew, no, I just like the way he looks and I want to go, like, to the mall or to eat out with him… and just spend time together and have fun.’
I wasn’t averse to the idea of hugging and kissing, but I had no desire to see a guy’s private part or to be sexually touched. I just thought, “Oh, maybe when I’m older and married, I’ll be into that.”
When I was in my first relationship, my partner wanted to have sex. I gave in because I thought it was a way to show him I loved him, and a way for him to express his love to me. I didn’t really like it and dreaded the moment whenever he called me to have sex with him. I didn’t understand why I was feeling that way because, according to me, I loved him… so why didn’t I like having sex? Why did I not feel what I was supposed to feel?
Well, the relationship didn’t work out, but since then, I decided that sex isn’t something I like, and I’d only have it when I get married, in order to have children (because I would like to have children eventually).
I found out about asexuality and apothisexuality only recently, maybe last year, so I finally understood why I feel that way about sex. And it’s not just this particular experience that made me feel that way… I always cringe at explicit sex jokes, don’t get “turned on” by seeing ‘hot bodies’, and don’t crave sexual intimacy in the least bit… just seeing very specific details about sex in stories or in general makes me uncomfortable as well.
Of course, everyone’s experience is different, but hopefully it can be useful to you in some ways, and feel free to ask me any questions you’d like.
Just because someone is sex-repulsed doesn’t mean that they are completely clueless about sex.
Sometimes people think that people that are asexual or sex-repulsed do not care about their appearance, don’t wear makeup, etc. I love makeup, nail extensions, cute clothes, jewelry, etc. I don’t dress to impress someone and attract them sexually; I like to look good for my own self-esteem. Looking nice makes me feel more productive, too.
