I have too much guilt to be a leader, i’m not a hero or a leader i’m a teenage girl who wants to go to college, that’s who Carmen Liu is, a student athlete who has never lead in her life and would rather live a life never leading or following- the instinct
Bunch of kids, Bunch of kids, they were all a bunch of foolish kids and it was pissing Carmen off. From what Carmen gathered, Her assumptions about Erek King were way off; he wasn’t some villain out to kill them. Nope, he was just using them as child warriors to safeguard himself and his tribe. Talk about a brilliant plan - gather a bunch of kids for protection! Genius level: monstrous!
Gotta love your child warriors.
How intelligent. Yes, that was sarcasm if you could not tell. Carmen was even dumbfounded at the teenagers, they were reckless, really reckless, quick to accept anything with asking for side effects or what other danger than defeating an evil that even has a born alien scared, because of their desire to be heroes. Hero complex, that’s what they had, a hero complex and a brain that was smooth- she did not mean it as an insult, ok maybe she did, but it was more concern that an actual insult of their intelligence. Carmen knew some of them and they were really smart, so she knew they were not actually dumb, they were teenagers- reckless. And yes sure she did not know this people that well, heck she was not friends with this people and from what it looks like, she did not feel the desire to be friends with them, just like she did not feel the desire to ever be friends with Erek though she found him intriguing and he was a friend of a friend. But, “It’s really hard not to figure out why I would care Jame-Jamie,” Carmen said addressing Jamie, a weird person she had seen once or twice in one of her classes that was really reserved like her (or well like she is supposed to be) and whom Carmen had once mistaken as a man, “I care because I have fcking empathy, and because an alien is injured means you should put yourself and a bunch of young kids who are not even old enough to drive life in danger?” When Carmen said child she pointed at the 5’1 short wavy brown haired person (Delphi), The 5’4 boy with an athletic build, seriously why was everybody so short, (Jo) “You’re 17, you’re supposed to know better than to put a bunch of kids at risk for your desires to be what? A Percy Jackson? If you wanted to put your life at danger fine do it, but honestly what’s the point in involving a bunch of kids? Especially when you did not ask for the side effects or the dangers? The least someone of your age could do, is ask for what possible side effects the crystal could cost on humans, how long it would last and if there would be intense pain or not. You could have ask for a step by step procedure on all the things that might happen to everyone or not and ways to at least have a little protection against this evil that you guys say will attack the alien boy- I mean Erek. But no, because you want to be a little edgy kid and btch and moan about how I don’t know you and should not care about you or everyone else because oh you want do d!e oh you listen to rock music and cry yourself to sleep-ok sorry, that was a little harsh. Anyways, and permission for what? to touch the little blue crystal? Did you even ask what may or not happen?” Ok, Carmen was obviously angry. She did not talk a lot unless she was near people she liked or she was really angry.
And Carmen was angry, she was angry that they were acting like a bunch of little kids who want to put on red capes and fly without any second or 5th thoughts. Ready to risk their lives without putting any deeper thoughts and involve a bunch of 15 year olds in this. She was angry that they were making her seem like she was crazy for caring about people who go to her school safety whether she was friends with them or not and she was angry that Erek would involve a bunch of kids in his little surviving scheme instead of involving adults or more capable people.There was really no adults he could trust to do whatever he wanted to do with this teens?
Carmen was not their mother, she was no one’s mother and she would not be anyone’s mother until years or maybe even never, but she knew a lot about playing heroes and putting yourself in risk without thinking. I mean that’s what got her running away from her old home to the Drews. She was a little kid who wanted to be a hero and payed the price of it, watching her elder sister d!e in front of her. She had trusted people blindly because at that time they seemed reliable friendly and trustworthy and she had not asked questions. Carmen let out a deep breathe, maybe she should be a little more understanding. Though Erek was an alien monster freak he was still a human-person- well young person. Though he was an alien monster ghost whatever, Carmen was pretty sure Erek was young for his kind and he was helpless. She could emphasize with that- helplessness.
Besides, it’s not a good thing to be angry- anger leads to stupid decisions, so Carmen turned to Hayden- he kind of remembered her of one the kids from her old life, just the way he looked and the way he talk, and calmed down. She walked closer to Hayden looking at the runt (affectionately runt! Her nickname for him now) and a small smile briefly appeared on Carmen’s face, but she quickly shook it off and sighed, her mind racing with concern and determination. Standing in front of Hayden, she turned to Erek and began, “Okay, let me get this straight. You’re in danger, and you want to save yourself and your fellow aliens. Turning a bunch of reckless kids into child warriors is incredibly reckless itself, but they seem hell-bent on doing it.”
And you’re a friend of a friend so Carmen could really not let him d!e even though she did not really care about him or would care if he was not friends with her friend (that was a lie, she would still find a way to care and blame her caring on someone else because though Carmen would never admit it, she cared about people, she has always cared about people and she will always care about people. It was a curse she had gotten since birth) “You’re obviously in danger too,” she continued, her tone serious. “Have you tested this crystal on humans before? Is there a possibility of it being too powerful and causing… uh… deadly consequences?” Sure, joining an alien to defeat an even more powerful alien organization? was definitely deadly consequences, but they were deadly consequences that was already bound to happen and could be avoided with the right plan. What Carmen wanted to know if the crystal could kll them, if after the evil alien is defeated, what side effects would the crystal have on them or would it go away? “And do you have more information about your attackers? Their strong points, what to avoid-you know things to prepare ‘them’ for when they touch the crystal.” By them Carmen meant them, because she was not being part of any of this crystal touching all she wanted to make sure was that everybody would be somewhat safe and then she could live on with her life.
She would not join this crystal touching thing because she had to focus on college and being an athlete, not on fighting monsters and living out her savior complex- She was not the second coming of Christ and she definitely was not trying to be, besides she would find a way to push all this in the back of her mind like she did with her past. She just hoped Hayden did not decide he wanted to be reckless and join them too, because that would mean she would have to join.
Carmen had only known Hayden for less than a day, she did not even know his last name, but she could not allow anything to happen to him. She could not fail him, and he had helped her see light, so she owed him something and honestly Carmen did not trust any of these people with Hayden. Did they even have a plan on how they would defeat the big bad guy?
Probably not. Seriously, they were a bunch of kids, a bunch of idiot kids with a serious d@ath wish, they really needed a planner, hopefully they found one.
@Ouijaloveletters - Jamie
@phnx - Erek
@M0thpawz - Hayden
and ig @/Animorphs