I couldn’t answer to his words. No proper words came out as I hugged him back befire he left to go to the backroom. As I was left alone, I unconsciously walked to the window. Removing the mask I touched my decaying skin gently.
those words…would they be real? - I wondered as I stared at myself in the reflection of the glass. I looked into my own eyes.
"I wish I could see your eyes, I bet they are a really pretty color. I’m sure that yours are amazing Genosta.”
Archers words rang in my ears. My own eyes. They were tired, they were red… They were glistening. They looked empty and sad but there was also an spark in them.
I let out a sigh and looked at the mask in my hand. Expressionless, always the same, split in half like my own face.
I smiled to myself by the idea that someone opened uo to this never changing face, that was hiding my every changing one.
I then put the mask back on. not yet - I told myself. don’t get your hopes up just yet, but maybe this time… I can one day - I thought.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I took a deep breath as I looked in the mirror. I had never really been loved but I was hoping that this was a change. I was going to put my heart on the line again and if it hurt me then I was done putting myself out there for other people. I took my glasses off and got in the shower letting the warm water wash my insecurities away.
@Meekepeek
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I heard the sound of the shower water start and I paused while putting on my mask. As long as I hear the water, I won’t have to worry about him walking in, maybe it’s nice to take of this discuize, even for a little bit.
I sat down on the coutch and closed my eyes while leaning my head backwards in the back of the couch, my head facing the ceiling.
As I closed my eyes, I could feel it all growing, the numing feeling of the decaying and the buring heat of the burns are always present, but today, they seem less. They seem more in the distance…
The sound of the showers were fading so I placed back my mask.
@bpalmer.
Maybe it would be interesting if Archer walks in and sees the decaying in his neck but not his face. He just sees the black skin a little.
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Archer
I walk out of the bathroom as Genosta pust his mask back on. “Genosta I dont care what you look like behind that mask it’s not going to change that I care about you. You dont have to show me now but I know regardless of how you look it’s not going to change how I feel.”
@Meekepeek
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I slowly raised my head and looked at him. I then sigh and lowered my head. "In all honesty, the more you tell me stuff like that… The more I want to hide it from you"I said softly. “You won’t like what you’ll see” I added and turned away,putting a hand on my left side of my mask, the same side as my curse.
“Sorry Archer” I tell him.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I sit with him and hold his hand Genosta I know that you have been hurt before but I will tell you right now I mean every word Ive said to you and I intend to make sure that I do care about you more than you even realize." I say as I take a deep breath. “I like you for you not your looks ok.”
@Meekepeek
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I let out a sigh. “Which is why it would be hard for you to see me without it” I said softly and squeezed his hand as I noticed they were slightly shaking. “I can’t show you…because I don’t want to upset or scare you” I said.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I run my other fingers through his hair as I try and hols his hand to stop them from shaking. “You don’t have to but when your ready I will be willing ok.” I say as I smile and lay my head on him. “Im not easily scared Genosta.”
@Meekepeek
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I nodded. “no… You won’t” I said softly. “It’s a different kind of scared” I added before I let out a sigh. “It will hurt you if I show you. I don’t want to hurt you” I mumbled.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I give his hand a squeeze and take a deep breath. “Genosta can I tell you something that I have been scared to tell you?” I ask as I lay my head on him cuddled in as I smile and play with his hair.
@Meekepeek
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I nodded and looked at him. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, abd from how things looked, he necer showed any sign of having difficulty talking to me about anything.
@bpalmer
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Archer
“I have feelings for you maybe more than friends and Im sorry that Im going to ruin our friendship by telling you this.” I mumble as I try not to cry or get upset by what I was so sure was going to happen next.
@Meekepeek
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I looked at him confused… Surprised…
I didn’t know how to respond. I looked at him. His eyes… They look like mine were. “Your eyes… They look tired, almost red… They are glistening. Your eyes look empty and sad but there is also an spark in them…they are the same as mine” I tell him. “I’m sorry Archer” I added softly. “I didn’t see you were broken… Like me” I said and hugged him.
I then decided to say the thing I was never told “You are loved, you are cared about” I tell him softly.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I was shocked by how he reacted. “My eyes always have been Genoata.” I mumble as I say as I hug him back. “Its not your fault Im broken so far your one of the few things that has started to hold the pieces back together. I want to hold your pieces back together for you too.” I say as I lean my head in cuddling into him some. “You are loved and cared about to Genosta.”
@Meekepeek
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I nodded as tears made their way past the mask. I wasn’t sure why, but I was both happy and hurt. I didn’t know why I felt this way but I just held him. “It hurts…being alone hurts, doesn’t it?” I asked. “I never realized it hurts this much” I mumbled. “You were also hurt” I said and sigh before hugging him tighter. “I don’t want you to be hurt anymore” I said.
@bpalmer
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Genosta
I wiped his tears off the edge of his mask with my finger. I felt my own tears run down my cheeks. I was happy that he finally understood but I was sad that he was hurting even more than I was. I cuddle in closer as he holds me and I hold him back. “It really hurts bing alone.” I mumble as I lay my head on his shoulder again. “I don’t want you hurting either. I wish I could take all your pain away, even if it added to mine.”
@Meekepeek
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I nodded and removed a tear from his cheek. “I don’t want you to take my pain” I tell him and sighed. With shaking hands I removed my mask. As we were still hugging, he wouldn’t see right away but I felt now was the best moment. Dragging it out longer would make it more painful.
“I don’t want you to feel this pain” I mumbled.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I saw his face and gently wipe his tears with a finger. “I would take it in a second if it made you smile Genosta.” I say as I kiss his cheek and cuddle back in. “Your eyes are as pretty as I thought they would be. They look tired and like you’ve been crying but you have a little sparkle in them that suits you well.” I squeeze his hand tight. “Does it hurt you??”
@Meekepeek
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I gave him a weak smile. His touch I couldn’t feel, but the gesture left enough. “I don’t want you to take it…” I repeated. “I promise I won’t leave you” I tell him while holding his hand firmly. “I will explain it later” I said and put the mask back on before grabbing his hand. “Only when we go outside” I tell him.
@bpalmer
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Archer
“I know Im just saying I would.” I say as I hold him close. “I want you to feel loved and cared about even safe Genosta.” I hold his hand just as tight “Im not leaving you either but Im still just scared about being left I have been left too many. times already.” I lay on his chest. “You don’t have to explain and you can keep it off if you want. Lets stay inside for a while longer then if outside hurts you.”
@Meekepeek
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