I slowly raised my head and looked at him. I then sigh and lowered my head. "In all honesty, the more you tell me stuff like that… The more I want to hide it from you"I said softly. “You won’t like what you’ll see” I added and turned away,putting a hand on my left side of my mask, the same side as my curse.
“Sorry Archer” I tell him.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I sit with him and hold his hand Genosta I know that you have been hurt before but I will tell you right now I mean every word Ive said to you and I intend to make sure that I do care about you more than you even realize." I say as I take a deep breath. “I like you for you not your looks ok.”
@Meekepeek
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I let out a sigh. “Which is why it would be hard for you to see me without it” I said softly and squeezed his hand as I noticed they were slightly shaking. “I can’t show you…because I don’t want to upset or scare you” I said.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I run my other fingers through his hair as I try and hols his hand to stop them from shaking. “You don’t have to but when your ready I will be willing ok.” I say as I smile and lay my head on him. “Im not easily scared Genosta.”
@Meekepeek
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I nodded. “no… You won’t” I said softly. “It’s a different kind of scared” I added before I let out a sigh. “It will hurt you if I show you. I don’t want to hurt you” I mumbled.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I give his hand a squeeze and take a deep breath. “Genosta can I tell you something that I have been scared to tell you?” I ask as I lay my head on him cuddled in as I smile and play with his hair.
@Meekepeek
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I nodded and looked at him. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, abd from how things looked, he necer showed any sign of having difficulty talking to me about anything.
@bpalmer
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Archer
“I have feelings for you maybe more than friends and Im sorry that Im going to ruin our friendship by telling you this.” I mumble as I try not to cry or get upset by what I was so sure was going to happen next.
@Meekepeek
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I looked at him confused… Surprised…
I didn’t know how to respond. I looked at him. His eyes… They look like mine were. “Your eyes… They look tired, almost red… They are glistening. Your eyes look empty and sad but there is also an spark in them…they are the same as mine” I tell him. “I’m sorry Archer” I added softly. “I didn’t see you were broken… Like me” I said and hugged him.
I then decided to say the thing I was never told “You are loved, you are cared about” I tell him softly.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I was shocked by how he reacted. “My eyes always have been Genoata.” I mumble as I say as I hug him back. “Its not your fault Im broken so far your one of the few things that has started to hold the pieces back together. I want to hold your pieces back together for you too.” I say as I lean my head in cuddling into him some. “You are loved and cared about to Genosta.”
@Meekepeek
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I nodded as tears made their way past the mask. I wasn’t sure why, but I was both happy and hurt. I didn’t know why I felt this way but I just held him. “It hurts…being alone hurts, doesn’t it?” I asked. “I never realized it hurts this much” I mumbled. “You were also hurt” I said and sigh before hugging him tighter. “I don’t want you to be hurt anymore” I said.
@bpalmer
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Genosta
I wiped his tears off the edge of his mask with my finger. I felt my own tears run down my cheeks. I was happy that he finally understood but I was sad that he was hurting even more than I was. I cuddle in closer as he holds me and I hold him back. “It really hurts bing alone.” I mumble as I lay my head on his shoulder again. “I don’t want you hurting either. I wish I could take all your pain away, even if it added to mine.”
@Meekepeek
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I nodded and removed a tear from his cheek. “I don’t want you to take my pain” I tell him and sighed. With shaking hands I removed my mask. As we were still hugging, he wouldn’t see right away but I felt now was the best moment. Dragging it out longer would make it more painful.
“I don’t want you to feel this pain” I mumbled.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I saw his face and gently wipe his tears with a finger. “I would take it in a second if it made you smile Genosta.” I say as I kiss his cheek and cuddle back in. “Your eyes are as pretty as I thought they would be. They look tired and like you’ve been crying but you have a little sparkle in them that suits you well.” I squeeze his hand tight. “Does it hurt you??”
@Meekepeek
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I gave him a weak smile. His touch I couldn’t feel, but the gesture left enough. “I don’t want you to take it…” I repeated. “I promise I won’t leave you” I tell him while holding his hand firmly. “I will explain it later” I said and put the mask back on before grabbing his hand. “Only when we go outside” I tell him.
@bpalmer
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Archer
“I know Im just saying I would.” I say as I hold him close. “I want you to feel loved and cared about even safe Genosta.” I hold his hand just as tight “Im not leaving you either but Im still just scared about being left I have been left too many. times already.” I lay on his chest. “You don’t have to explain and you can keep it off if you want. Lets stay inside for a while longer then if outside hurts you.”
@Meekepeek
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I removed the mask again but shook my head with a sad smile. “Its not the mask that hurts. It feels the same with or without it” I explain. “But it’s muffled most of the time so don’t worry” I said before gently touching his cheek with my hand. “I won’t leave you willingly unless it’s better for us both or if it’s out of my controle” I promised him. “I… Think I wanna be by your side permanently as well” I said unsure. “I want you to snile like you did this morning and be as open as you are right now” I added now without any doubt.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I cuddle in as I play with his hair as I take a deep breath feeling better as I hear his words. “Im sorry that it hurts Genosta.” I touch his cheek gently. “Is there anything I can do to help your pain?” I ask as I just cuddle close to him. “Im really glad to hear you say that your not going to leave me and its not going to be better for me if you leave me I will tell you that now. There is no situation where you leaving is better for me.” I hold his hand tight. “I will always smile and be open with you I just want the same for you though.”
@Meekepeek
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I shrug. “It’s a small price to pay for being here” I said as I put my hand on the one that held my cheek. “I think you already are, so don’t worry about it” I reassured him.
“I meant it in a way that if you want me to go, I won’t stay” I explain. “But only then” I added.
I smiled and rested my head against his. “The same goes for me, but I also want to see you sad or angry, I don’t want you to just look happy all the time, just be honest about your feelings, okay?” I tell him.
@bpalmer
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Archer
I cuddle in honestly content and happy for the first time in a long time. “Genosta I like this a lot.” I mumble as I listen to him talking. “I honestly don’t think I will want you to go and if you want me to go just tell me ok.” I say as I rub my thumb on his cheek gently he made me happy despite any flaw. “Im not the type to hide my emotion well so you don’t have to worry about that ok but I want you to show me yours to I don’t want you always hiding. You can be venerable with me.”
@Meekepeek
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