Hey y’all!
So, I’m working on a story that I want to publish on Wattpad. It’s called Long Lost Sisters, and it’s about two twin girls who were separated as babies (due to their parents divorcing), and then one of the twins end up moving to where the other twin lives! This sounds kinda cliche, I know, but I wanted to write it anyway 
I wanted to ask for feedback for the first two chapters (I haven’t finished the third yet) because well I’m kinda insecure about my writing, and I don’t think it’s very good 
So I’ll probably be asking for feedback for a lot of chapters
Anyway, here are the two chapters!
Chapter 1
Chapter One - Jennifer “Jenny” Woods
“Dad, are we there yet?” I groan sleepily. It had been seven hours since we left our old home behind in the small town of Weston Hills, California.
“Not yet, honey,” my dad says from the driver’s seat. “Hang in there for just a little while longer, okay?”
I was too tired to respond.
It felt like a century since we had left Weston Hills behind. Why couldn’t my dad’s job move him to a place that was a little closer to it? Why move him halfway across the state?
Not only was my dad impacted from the move, but me, too. I had been homeschooled for all my life back when we lived in Weston Hills (I’d been enrolled into an online program). So moving shouldn’t be a problem for me, right? I could just resume my classes right where I left off.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. As the years passed, my dad grew extremely worried that I’d turn out as an antisocial human being with zero communication skills. He’d started to think of enrolling me in a public school for a while, but he never exactly did it. Part of the reason was that I didn’t want to leave the online program. Minus preschool and kindergarten, I had never step foot in a school before.
When he found out he was being moved to a new place, however, he saw this as an opportunity for me to make new friends and stuff. So, he’d pulled me out of the program, despite my protests. I would now resume my eleventh grade year at Spring Hills High School in Spring Hills, California.
To say that I was nervous was an understatement. The only time I had gone into a school in all these years was when our neighbors invited us to see their son in a school play, which was more like a musical. I remember sleeping through the dialogue and waking up for the songs.
And now, I would be going to an actual high school. I had no idea what to expect. Would there be cliques, like in those (cringy) Episode stories? Or would it just be an ordinary high school? I honestly had no idea.
…
Forty minutes later, the sound of a car horn startles me awake. Where were we?
I sat up and peered outside the window. We were in front of a tan-colored house, and there was a moving truck parked behind us. Finally, we were here after what seemed like an eternity.
I jumped out of the car and stretched my arms and legs. It felt so good to finally stand up after sitting in a car for four hours.
My dad was talking to one of the moving guys on the porch. The guy nodded and carried a big box of stuff inside the house.
“Hey, Dad,” I say, strolling up to him.
“Hey, Jen,” he said, ruffling my hair.
“When did we get here?” I ask.
“About fifteen minutes ago. Sorry I didn’t wake you up. You were in a deep sleep and I didn’t want to wake you.”
“It’s fine,” I say, shrugging. “Has all the boxes and stuff been brought in yet?”
“Almost,” he says. “Just a few left. Do you want to see your room?”
“Of course,” I say.
He leads me inside, and I look around in awe. This house is way bigger than our old one.
We trail down the hallway. Finally, near the end of the hall, my dad opens a door.
“This one’s yours,” he says, ushering me inside. “I picked this one for you because of the view outside. Take a look.”
“Wow!” I exclaim, heading toward the window in the back of the bedroom.
My room is in the back of the house. Our town was surrounded by large hills, which I guess that’s the reason why they named it Spring Hills. From here, you got a clear view of those hills. As I gazed out at them, I felt a calming feeling run through me. This really was the best view I’d ever seen (besides those at Yosemite, of course). And I’d get to look at these hills any time I’d like!
“Pretty great, huh?” Dad says, coming up behind me.
“This view is amazing!” I say, giving him a hug. “Thanks, Dad.”
“No problem,” he says with a smile, hugging me back. “I know we just got here, but you might want to unpack.” He gestures to the boxes surrounding me.
“I’ll do it after I eat something,” I reply. And change my clothes. I felt hot and sweaty in these clothes that I’ve been wearing for over six hours. “I’m super hungry.”
“There’s a Pizza Hut nearby,” he says. “Want to go?”
If it meant pizza, I’m down. “Yes,” I say.
“Okay. Come downstairs in ten.”
I nodded, and he exited the room.
…
Twenty-five minutes later, my dad pulls into the parking lot of Pizza Hut. He takes the key out of ignition and we both open the doors and step outside into the fresh California breeze.
We head inside. The lady takes our order — as always, I order pineapple pizza, because it is the best — and we find a table and sit down.
“So, are you looking forward to starting school in two weeks?” my dad asks me.
I mentally rolled my eyes. What does he think? I’ve been homeschooled since first grade, and he, out of the blue, decides to send me to an actual school.
“I don’t want you to feel lonely, Jen,” he says softly.
“Da-a-ad,” I groan. “I’m alone. That doesn’t mean I’m lonely.”
“I know that. It’s just…with this job move, I’m most likely going to be working late a lot. I won’t have much time to help you with school.”
“I never have problems with school,” I argue. What a lame excuse! “I always finish my homework and tests on time. Seriously, when was the last time I asked you to help me with my studies?”
He sighed (a little too dramatically, if you ask me). “I’m sorry, Jen, but you are going to go to Spring Hills High no matter what.”
“I’m going to go to the restroom,” I mumble, sliding out of my seat.
I was so preoccupied with thinking about my new school, I didn’t notice where I was going. I bump into a girl — actually, more like crash into her, since she was running — and we both collapse onto the floor.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I apologize as I stand up and extend a hand.
She takes my hand, stands up, and brushes her chestnut hair out of her face.
I hold in a gasp.
The girl looks exactly like me.
Chapter 2
Chapter Two - Rosalyn Peterson
A COUPLE HOURS AGO…
“Ticonderoga or Paper Mate?” I ask, holding up two boxes of pencils.
“Definitely Ticonderoga,” says Veronica, my best friend. She takes the box and drops it into the cart. “What’s next?”
I scan the list. Notebooks, check. Color-coded folders, check. Crayons, check. Pencils, check. “We need a three-ring binder.”
Since we had nothing to do today, Veronica and I had volunteered to go school shopping for her little sister, Ava.
We stroll down the aisle, looking for a binder. I scan all the shelves. They are a huge mess from people picking up items and not placing them back where they were.
“Over there!” Ver calls out. I follow her eyes to one of the upper shelves. There, at the corner, was a box full of binders.
“You have a good eye,” I remark, heading over to the shelf.
“More than you,” she teased.
Well, she was right. If you ever need to go on a scavenger hunt, I am most definitely NOT the person to do it with. Sometimes I can’t even figure out where the bathroom is at midnight.
“Which color should we get?” I ask.
She comes over to me, stands on her tiptoes, and peers into the box. After a few moments, she pulls out a rainbow-colored binder. “This one,” she says decisively.
“How do you know that she’ll like it?” I questioned.
She rolls her eyes at me. “It’s just a freaking binder, Rosa.”
“Tell that to your third grade self,” I say, and we both crack up.
It’s true. Little Veronica was a very fussy child.
Ver drops the binder in the cart. “Is there anything left?”
I scan the list again. “Erasers and markers. But you already have plenty of those, right? So do I.”
“Guess we’re done, then,” Ver says. “That was surprisingly quick.”
“Wanna get pizza and watch The Hunger Games at my house?” I ask as we head over to the checkout.
“You know I do!” she says enthusiastically. “How about you pay for the stuff, and I’ll go ahead to Pizza Hut and get the pizza? I’m pretty sure it’s right down the block.”
“Sure,” I say, and she tosses me her car keys. I catch it with one hand and drop it in my purse. After that one incident a few weeks ago where a pickpocket took a lady’s car keys out of her back pocket and stole her car, I no longer trust back pockets. “See you later!” call out, and she waves as she leaves the store.
…
Apparently, Veronica going ahead to fetch the pizza did not work, because the cashier was new and could not figure out how to work the machine. I stood there impatiently as someone came over to help him. I slip my phone out of my purse and text Veronica, letting her know that I was going to be a little late. It took fifteen, maybe twenty, minutes when I finally left the store.
I rush to Ver’s car as fast as I can, dump the bag of school supplies in the backseat, and jump into the driver’s seat. I drive as fast as I can to Pizza Hut, praying that I won’t get a ticket for going over the speed limit.
I park the car near the door and rush inside. I guess maybe half the city apparently decided to have pizza for lunch, because it is packed. I don’t see Veronica anywhere. Has she already left?
I take out my phone and send her a message. Ver, where are u?
Her reply comes back almost instantly. Standing by the window in the back. 
I scan the back of the restaurant until I see Veronica. She sees me, too, because she starts waving me over. I smile and start rushing toward her.
Well, running was a stupid thing to do, because a few seconds later, I had crashed into a girl.
“Crap,” I mutter under my breath.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” the girl says as she extends a hand. Why does her voice sound so similar to mine?
I take her hand, stand up, and brush my hair out of my face.
A second later, I’m staring at a girl who looks exactly like me.
Specific parts I want to improve:
My room is in the back of the house. Our town was surrounded by large hills, which I guess that’s the reason why they named it Spring Hills. From here, you got a clear view of those hills. As I gazed out at them, I felt a calming feeling run through me. This really was the best view I’d ever seen (besides those at Yosemite, of course). And I’d get to look at these hills any time I’d like!
^ I’m not good at describing things whether it’s a house or feelings LOL so I need some help on how to improve that paragraph.
I park the car near the door and rush inside. I guess maybe half the city apparently decided to have pizza for lunch, because it is packed. I don’t see Veronica anywhere. Has she already left? I take out my phone and send her a message. Ver, where are u? Her reply comes back almost instantly. Standing by the window in the back.
^ I just…don’t like this part.
If you give feedback, I’ll mention you in the story when I publish it! 
).
