Kaiâs Todo List - Courtesy of Anna Pierce:
Forewarning: Read this whole damn list, Love. I know you better than you know yourself - and as much as you want to delete this, you canât. Want to know why. Your sister has a mighty big mouth so not only do I know a lot about her, there are a few⌠little Azureâs that I know about as well and I can easily make sure they go into the cross fire. Hence this statement: If any task is not done by the deadline, one by one, one of your siblings will suffer in one way or another. Glad to know weâre on the same page, Kai, Darling. After all, you only have a few months to make my sister fall head over heels for you and then completely demolish her. Oh⌠and Iâll be watching. I donât really⌠trust you Malachai. But who can blame me. Letâs just say every move you do, and my sister does is now under close surveillance. Good luck. Oh, and donât f^ck up.
March 27th - April 5th: First Meeting + Get her to notice you. Oh la la, wonât this be interesting. A little tip from me - make it interesting. Jessica wonât⌠really care otherwise. And you donât want to start off on the wrong foot, would you? I suggest flowers or some sh!t. Iâm sure sheâd love that.
April 5th - April 7th: Oh look at me. Tightening the deadlines. You better figure out a way to go on a date with her by these days. First dates are so⌠annoying but itâs a must. Be your charming self⌠if you can. Well⌠I hope you can because if you canât, youâre in for a world of hurt. I suggest taking her out to a nice dinner. Let her talk about herself - she loves to do that. Get her a little drunk, red wine should do the trick. And I suggest you get her tipsy enough that you get your second requirement of the night - a kiss. Oh⌠trust me Iâll be watching for that. And then be a little gentleman and drop her off.
April 5th - April 7th: Here we go - Stroll in a park or some sh!t before classes. Yes, what a bore - a morning date? Maybe even before you go camping. And itâs not even the morning after. Sad. But a must. If thereâs one thing I know about my sister, she wakes up early. So go make sure youâre the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up. I need you to get close enough to her within these few days that she loves to be with you, around you, whatever. She canât get you out of her goddamn mind. I donât care what you have to do - but this date is a requirement love.
April 7th - 10th: Oh the camping trip - wonât this be fun. The great goddamn outdoors. Who doesnât love that? Get closer to her. Devise scenarios that she falls on you or some sh!t. Sheâs a clumsy idiot anyway so it shouldnât be hard. Midnight make-out sessions. Skinny dipping naked. I donât care - but I want to progress. But mark my words - no sex yet Malachi. This early and youâll just be a fling, and my dear sister does like to sleep around. I need you to make sure sheâs not sleeping with anyone else and can only think about you. Donât forget - I have eyes everywhere.
April 11th -15th: Take my darling sister on another date. By now, she should be starting to fall for you - which is why itâs the perfect time to add sex into the picture. Oh, and I mean mind-blowing sex - if you can even manage that. Letâs just say I hope sheâs screaming your name that night - because if sheâs not, you didnât do step 1-4 correctly. Or youâre just bad in bed⌠which I wouldnât be surprised at. Good luck - maybe put some rose petals on the bed, she seems like sheâd be into that sh!t.
April 20th: I suggest you secure yourself as Jessicaâs arm candy for the annual fashion show. It would do you well to make sure sheâs absolutely in love with you. Make sure you go into the event with her and come out with her. Your goal for that day - I hope to see Jessica texting someone about you or telling someone about you. Trust me, I have ears in that place so hopefully, youâve made her fall for you enough to do so.
May 2nd - May 7th: Ahh, love is in the air. Well⌠hopefully, it is. Iâm going to need an âI love youâ from Jessica right about now, sweetie. I donât care how - but I suggest you get one out of her. Wish you the best. But do me a favor - donât say it back. Tell her you need time and you care about her. Make that mind of hers start churning.
May 8th - May 25th: More dates, more lovey-dovey sh!t that people do when they like each other. Capice? Oh and maybe a stary night dinner where you tell her you love her back? That would be just perfect.
May 30th: And now, I need you to break her damn heart and make it fall apart into a million pieces in front of everyone at that soccer game, sweetie. Do me a favor - find a tramp and sleep with her the night before. My⌠friends will make sure photos are taken and spread to the whole school at the same time so it really hurts. And then, when she confronts you about it - tell her she meant nothing to you. That she never would.
June 4th: I hope, for your sake, she decides to pull a disappearing act at graduation. I want her so broken she canât function enough to even show up. Do this - and your job will be complete - and I will be out of your life.
