[[[𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡𓆪 𓆩⟡]]
Thalia did not know why, but at Renlin’s question–asking her if she thought he would bring anyone else she pinched herself. Normally, when people pinch themselves in this type of scenario as she had come to learn, Is because they thought they were dreaming and wanted to be awaken from their dream, but Thalia knew she was not dreaming. No, she was fully aware that in this space, another person’s body existed with her, that warm brown eyes were looking at her as they talked. She had pinched herself, perhaps, because she could truly believe–no matter how surprising it was, that he had indeed not brought anyone else or maybe it was more because she couldn’t believe a person would want to cling unto memories so much like this. Why come to a place that would only bring you sadness?
She placed her tongue under her bottom teeth as he continued to talk, "This felt happy to you?"She asked genuinely shocked. No matter how much she had longed to come back here, to be one with that cabin, worries had weighted her down. She had worried that regret would follow her like a predator chasing a prey, that she would feel miserable all alone, that she would drink too much here, and no one would be able to locate her and thus she would trip on something in a drunken lust and die. Or perhaps if her memories of Renlin would haunt in here, then all of her memories would haunt her, even that bloody scene.
She needed something to drink, she thought to herself, and she was glad when Renlin offered her a flask, with her fingers stretched, she reached for it–trying to ignore the feeling of his skin against her’s. She grabbed the flask and took a sip and she watched him watch her. It was kind of strange, to be both watching and watched.
When she gave the flask back to him, though, she decided she wanted to be the better watcher. Now, perhaps, the tone in which that was said might have implied some sort of competition of who could watch who best, but there was no competition, it was simply a strange curiosity to notice what she had never noticed before. She watched his smile, his beautiful golden-like smile, and felt the need to smile herself for some reason, and to comment on that smile. The way he had responded, she had tried not too, but she couldn’t help her laughter. “Well, that was definitely not cheesy” She teased, “How long have you had that one saved in you? so what are your other reasons to smile?” She questioned, wondering what he might say and then, realizing she bored and wanted to do something with her hands, and she could not hold his hands, she asked for some snacks.
“Fair point,” She responded when he had said that if he had any snacks they would rot by now. But then he had been digging into his pockets, pulling out random assortment of things; a pack of cigarettes, a lanyard keychain with no keys but instead a pen on a string, and three pennies. He moved to the other pocket and retrieved a couple of paper clips, his wallet, and two sticks of gum. “I’ve got gum?” he offered with a grin. Renlin couldn’t help but laugh softly as he held out the gum, as if it were a prized offering.
Thalia bit back a grin, her eyes lighting up with amusement as Renlin held out the gum like it was some rare treasure. She made a grand gesture, placing one hand dramatically on her chest as if she’d just been bestowed a great honor. “Oh, a stick of gum? This is all girl could want, Truly, this is a prized offering,” she said in an exaggeratedly regal tone, her lips twitching into a full smile now. She took the gum from him with mock seriousness. “I shall treasure it always.” With that, she unwrapped the gum and popped it into her mouth. The minty scent hit her senses as she popped it into her mouth, the cool flavor spreading across her tongue, sharp and distracting. She chewed in silence for a moment, watching him as he busied himself with stashing away the random trinkets he’d pulled from his pockets.
Thalia’s heart skipped a beat as Renlin’s words sank in. Damn, she thought, biting the inside of her cheek. She had walked right into that one. She should’ve known, of course, that he’d bring it up again—the way she’d ghosted him, leaving his calls and texts unanswered like whispers lost to the wind. No amount of deflection had been enough to erase it, not from him, not from herself. “Oh you texted?” She questioned thinking of a lie.
“Weird,” she continued, her tone light but her stomach churning, “I didn’t seem to have received any texts.” She tapped her phone in her pocket for emphasis, as if the device itself had betrayed her. The lie was weak, and they both knew it. “Anyways…” She began, trying to deflect. “Your room is so comfortable,”
But AAH, of course Renlin did not want to talk about rooms, she don’t think anyone really would, unless they were very passionate about architecture like her, but even with her hyper fixation for architecture, Thalia did not really want to talk about rooms nor have a serious talk. But serious talks mixed with flirtations and teasing, seems to be the agenda for today.
After all, he was so close to her, and she could see his every movement–she could see the way he licked his lips, the way he gazed at and how husky and warm his voice sounded. He had said, *the problem is, any girl just won’t do for me"
She exhaled softly, her heart beating a little faster. Any girl just won’t do for me.
What was she supposed to say to that? Her fingers toyed with the edge of her sleeve, trying to mask the nerves that were starting to tangle inside her. “Well,” she started, forcing a lightness into her tone she didn’t quite feel, “maybe you’re just too picky.” She shot him a teasing smile, hoping to steer the conversation back into safer territory.
And then he said something, something that made her ctightened at his words. There was something profound in his admission, a hint of hope laced with uncertainty. Did he truly mean it? Could he really see her as someone worth the risk, worth the effort? And yet, just as quickly, the self-doubt crept in. What if she didn’t know how to be that person for him? What if she couldn’t handle the weight of their desires?
The chaos surrounding them mirrored her thoughts—a whirlwind of emotions she wasn’t quite ready to unpack. “Ren,” she started, her voice shaky, “I don’t know if—” And then: “Yeah,” She said, “I think I could too…”