≪ °❈° ≫ August 2017 ≪ °❈° ≫
TW - blood
Tae winced as he woke up and became aware of how much his body hurt. Beside him, he heard someone move.
“Tae, oh my god. Hang on. I’ll tell your mom.” Felicity. It was Felicity’s voice. Except it also wasn’t. Her voice sounded scared and sad. Tight. Not like her. “She should be here soon, she was just getting a coffee."
“…hurts.” It was hard to use his voice.
“What was that?”
“I…everything hurts.” He whispered before taking in his surroundings “Where am I?”
"You’re in the hospital. Do you remember being in an accident?” He nodded. As soon as she said that, he remembered the glass in his arm, being thrown against the side of the car and his brother, covered in blood. “I’ll call your nurse and see if there’s something to help your pain.”
“Isaac…” He felt his breathing speed up as he tried to remember what happened to his brother after that but everything was black. Felicity hesitated, which made Tae fear for the worst-case scenario.
“I think we should wait until your mom gets back.”
“Where’s dad?”
“He’s at home. He was here all night because it was the only way to convince Sara to get some sleep.”
“Taeho.” His mom’s voice was even more heart-crushing than his sister’s.
“Eomma.” He responded as she hugged him. He hugged her back, breathing in the familiar comforting scent of her perfume. She began to softly sob. “Eomma, it’s okay. I’m here.” At this point, Felicity begins to cry, leaving Tae confused. “What happened to Isaac?” He asked firmly.
“Tae-ya, Isaac didn’t make it.” His mom answered. Tae felt his breathing become heavier, his dread becoming a reality.
“I’m so sorry. Liss, I’m so sorry.” He repeats the words over and over again.
“It’s not your fault.” She insisted. “I’m just happy one of you is still here.”
≪ °❈° ≫ Present ≪ °❈° ≫
“Don’t get too excited, I haven’t said I’m going yet.” He quipped as she began excitedly searching through her makeup. He once again glanced at the drawer beside his bed, remembering what his original plan for the evening had been.
Ayla very confidently dismissed his concern about Ren hurting her. “He’s like, twice your size.” He reminded her while also trying to justify his concern. He was trying to ignore the fact that the thought of Ayla going up against Renlin made his chest feel tight. He remembered what happened when he got on the wrong and of his cousin’s temper and he was scared of what that could mean for her.
He felt her hand on his back and put his head on her shoulder, leaning into her touch. “I…I know that,” He responded when she told him that his father’s love wasn’t conditional except something in his voice showed evidence of disbelief as if he was saying what he thought she wanted to hear instead of what he actually believed.
“I feel like I’m letting him down if I stop trying but I just want to stop feeling like surviving was this horrible thing that I did.” Out of all the things Tae had to process and recover from after the accident, survivor’s guilt was the worst. Over time, his pain became tolerable and the nightmares became sparse but the guilt was always a constant, even as his sister’s words reassured him. Ayla had a point though. Losing himself to complete an impossible task wasn’t helping him heal. “I guess you’re right.” He agreed, resting his head against her shoulder.
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@eunoia - Ayla