I got the nerve to create this topic after I saw this video:
So have you guys have had(or currently have) sucidial thoughts or attempts?
I have had thoughts and one attempt.
No, I have some pretty strong opinions on suicide that I’m guessing a lot of people would misinterpret or disagree with, but personally I have never considered it. Thought about it, yes, but never considered it.
Oh, what are your opinions on it then if you don’t mind me asking? 
(Trigger I guess)
Well I wasn’t sure wether I wanted to comment on this thread or not because it’s not something I usually talk about to people, I rarely ever did.
Opening up isn’t really easy for me but I felt like I should this time
I’ve been depressed for years now, I’m energetic, quirky and all but honestly I had a sh*t life especially growing up
There were many many times in my life I had suicidal thoughts, but I never actually gave up and attempted anything until earlier this year.
The time I spent in the military really grew my depression and broke my soul, and eventually I ended up trying to kill myself, twice. Both failed (obviously)
I never talk about it, only like 3 people knew about it until now.
It’s not fun, it’s a terrible feeling but honestly I’m glad I failed even tho I’m still not ideal and happy
I’ve come a long way since then but it did change me.
That’s it I suck at sharing stuff
Trigger warning though it ends on a positive note
Yes, I have thought about it a couple of times in the past I even had several ideas on how I would go about, it. I however never actively went through with any one of them because I just couldn’t bring myself to actually hurt myself to the point of no return. I did actually try to cut myself once,but as soon as I did the sooner I regretted that decision.Which actually made me even sadder because I thought I was such a coward. Which I in retrospect totally wasn’t
I desperately wanted to end the situation I was in as well as the hurt that came with it, but I didn’t want to end my own existence because of that as well.As I still had a small form of hope left in me that the situation would be better…that I would be better.
Looking back on the situation now I’m glad I kept up that feeling of hope even on days where that shimmer of hope shined less bright than on other days. I would have never had been able to meet the amazing friends I have now as well as make the most memorable experiences with them.I do still feel down from time to time… some days more than others, but I still try to have a positive outlook on life and my future. As well as remember the things I still have and am still grateful for instead of the things and people that I have lost.
Me too…
Yeah? It’s okay. At least you survived right?
I wish I didn’t survive mine but here I am.
Tell me about it. It sucls.
Oh? As I said, I wish I died 100%.
Yeah, I am not really sucidial or wasn’t until yesterday.
Okay.
I always put myself last-
Same.
That’s how I felt and sometimes feel now too.
Yeah, I was horrible too…
Wow-
Definitely
Sharing is still sharing and I think you were able to explain your feelings well enough for us to understand.
Yeah, I really went for it-
I attempted on a school bus, on a field trip-
With a freaking LECTURE for my teacher after my friend told her, the WHOLE class was there and staring…
I almost cut my right hand off while my mom was upstairs…
Yeah…I keep telling myself that I should have…hurt myself more. I should have dug deeper, the amount of blood wasn’t enough, the amount I choked myself wasn’t close to what I wanted, etc.
Yeah, I wouldn’t have been able to write my story or ongoing book but I…I still have SUPER dark thoughts day by day.
I’m glad this forum can be an escape for you and that you are able to share this story with us. Sharing can often help us heal from our past traumatic events as we can reflect upon them as well as on ourselves.
It’s also very normal to still feel affected by things that happened several years ago .Trauma as well as depression usually stays with you for a VERY long time. It’s not something you can just get over with. Those extreme periods of feeling sadness, hurt, helpless or even times complete numbness are just things that you should try to accept as things and feelings that happened in the past but don’t have to be part of your present or future. You just have to try and stay strong. Which I know that is easier said than done especially on certain days, but just think of all the current people that are still with you and love you endlessly.
That’s awful to hear,but I’m glad they never were succesful or else we would have never met you now.
I’m glad to hear that and I wish you a lot of good luck on your ongoing book. I can very much understand that there will be dark thoughts clouding your mind whether that is because of things that happened in the past, now or a mix of both. You’ve just gotta stay as strong as you can . As well as ask for help on the days where they are super dark to the point that you have difficulty battling it alone.
I also would like to say that I think you are a great person as well as tremendous friend to kpopcorn. Knowing you have your own demons to battle with yet still continue to try and defend others from there’s shows real bravery and selflessness.
Yeah, it’s awful but sometimes like now when my online best friend hates me, I wish I died with 99% of my body. I don’t want to see the day my mom and grandma die, or even my brother and friends.
Maybe that would have been a good thing.
Thank you, it’s very…dark I guess. So it is easier to escape to then other things…
Yeah, I had this vision(sometimes I get small visions of the future) and I was…drowning myself in my tub…I honeslty was wishing that was last night as I pretty much cried myself to sleep last night.
Thank you. Sometimes the memories of that day, that YEAR was…and is…something else.
I mean, I literally choked myself when the teacher was away…
When I tired, no, actually not tried, did commit, I was scratching myself until I bled from my hand. I was also choking myself in class and while scratching myself…
I try not too, but I keep remembering the choking, blood, almost cutting my hand off, all of that stuff but I can’t seem to forget it.
Yes.
Thanks for being honest.
nods silently
I had a mental breakdown and cried in front of my mom…which I definitely didn’t want to do.
I don’t think they would ever want to see you die either.
Well I would never consider it a bad thing, I bet you have been able to bring a lot of people smile friends as well as make some interesting topics that people can love and appreciate. For example you made this thread which already gave me as well as Isidora and Michelle a place to share our stories with each other. There might be even more people who would be interested in doing that once they see this thread.
Hmm is it it the Burn girl book or what’s the premise of the story?
It was a very emotional and traumatic event for you, it’s going to be hard to just forget or “move on” from it.It’s going to take a long time to process it.
Look at this way would you say that the way you are feeling right now and your current life right now are at least a bit better even if it’s just 1% than it that dreadful year you made those attempts? Because incase it is yes it means you are making some progress in your life.
And if it’s not… know that are still lots of people including me that you can always reach out to help you get through these tough times. Whether that is just by listening or by trying to distract you by sending you some funny memes.
Were you at least able to get help after that event from loved ones and-or professionals?
Breakdown happened today. I’m just overwhelmed because I just started college.