disney FINALLY made a trailer that made me physically yaet my phone across the room
like for those in the staff chat that care and/or remember I was literally raving when the teaser trailer for this dropped
but this is
THIS AINT IT CHIEF
So, a normal person might watch it and think, “What’s the big deal?”
But those of you that are fifth graders like me and read the books will probably have a seizure within the first five seconds of the trailer
THEY TURNED IT INTO A BARGAIN BIN HARRY POTTER
the person who hugs nory has to be hawthorn. please tell me that is hawthorn because if it’s nory’s dad i’m gonna cry
WHY IS NORY GOING TO SAGE SHE DOESNT GO TO sAGE (aka ripoff hogwarts in this movie apparently )
THE DEAN IS LITERALLY RIPOFF UMBRIDGE. LIKE I HAVENT READ ANY OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS OR WATCHED THE MOVIES BUT I KNOW THIS
THEY WHITEWASHED ANDRE
THEY WHITEWASHED MS STARR AND ALSO TURNED HER INTO A DUDE
I AM LITERALLY GONNA FIGHT THE DISNEY EXEC THAT MADE FLICKERS HAVE TELEKINESIS INSTEAD OF INVISIBILITY
I have so much more beef but those are just my main things
Like, in the first book there’s actually thought put into the plot with the ‘box of normal’ and the UDM kids feeling like they have to conform to normal expectations and it’s a lot more man vs. self and it’s SO obvious that disney is trying to inject synthetic plot with the whole sHaDoW mAgIc thing because kids these days have the attention span of a walnut
and clearance isle umbridge is obviously gotta be evil because GOD FORBID Disney have an actual strained relationship between family members and then have them work it out like reasonable adults
Honestly, Disney used to be so much better than this. Before it catered to like television. Like, the movies used to be so great and now they’re just cheesy and bad… The only newer disney movies I can think of that are actually good are Moana and Frozen.
DCOMs used to actually pretty good, like Teen Beach movie was the crap for 9-year-old me, I loved how meta it was. Now it feels like it’s getting trashier every year.
Oh geez yeah. I can’t even describe these movies… the only way I can even try to describe it is… plastic. Lmao. Like those crappy plastic toy sets that don’t have everything in them and are super colorful but overall trashy- that’s what my mind goes to when I think of these movies.
Yeah. Have you heard of Ever After High? Like, that’s what all this reminds me of but of course Ever After High was a much better version lol. It all kinda seems like it’s fanfiction at this point (And bad fanfic cuz fanfic can be pretty good- I’m just not a fan which is why I’m using it for comparison).
I actually really liked Ever After High, but disney pretty much forced it to shut down when Descendants came out, which is bs. It kinda feels like the kid’s menu of bad movies
)