I’m about to post this for school. It’s for a discussion post that I have to write a paragraph about settings. what do you think?
The trees rustled in the wind that whispered through the forest. Disturbing those who dwelled inside the branches. Birds started chirping when the wind ruffled their feathers. They alerted those in the forest that morning was here. Causing many to stir awake, little feet started running around in the undergrowth of the trees. Those little feet belonged to baby rabbits that were trying to catch up with their mother. They weaved in between the under bushes and roots that were gnarled in the ground. It was their playground and home even if they were following their mother they stilled played with each other will dunking and jumping over the naturally grown obstacles they so used too. Bigger beast roamed that were their enemies but that didn’t matter this was their time to be out, to find food, to play for as long as they wanted. Their mother was there to keep them safe and watch as they played. She kept a watchful eye on them as they headed to their clearing.
@fcukforcookies @BrutallyBritish @MeghanWrites
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I’m not sure I’m a legit person here but okay.
Overall I liked it. A few things that I think might improve (but again, not sure). I would merge 1-2 sentences into one, and also 3,4 sentence (possibly 5) into one as well.
It might be the Russian thing, cause we are known for writing long-as* sentences, but yep.
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Thank you! I will try that out!
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I had to re read that bit. Maybe say
“over the naturally grown obstacles that they were so used to.”
Instead? It might just be me though 
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Also how the heck am I qualified to help? 
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Oh! Thanks for pointing that out! I thought I put “were” right there.
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I don’t know! I just saw people I talked to enough that I trusted their input on my writing!
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Bumping this so I can give my opinions later on
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Thanks, I will be adding this to my short story I write for school.
Great imagery. Maybe try a bit of personification??
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You mean by giving the rabbits their own thoughts right?
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To personify something (the rabbits are perfectly great the way they are), meaning to give, for example, the trees “human” characteristics.
Like: “the trees sang softly through the rain”.
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Oh okay! I actually forgot about personification. I can’t believe I forgot that. My teacher gave me a 98 on the assignment, sh said not use too many cliches when I continue on writing.
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Thank you! I just have to make sure I write by showing rather than telling, which can be hard for me to do.
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That is a bit hard. Don’t worry. You’ll get it soon!
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Thank you! It just takes practice which is what I need.
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If you still want to put your thoughts out about it I’m all ears still.
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