Yeah. Itβd have.
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@WolfGamerGirl37, listen, I think thereβs a problem - when I finished episode 1, it restarted, if you get what I mean. I replayed and no matter what I chose, the episode restarted.
Could you please check this out?
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Yeah, Iβll check that out and get back to you.
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Alright, I found the issue. I just put in a goto command that sends it the ending. I did that to all of the published episodes. It should works this time.
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Review of the story: βPowerful Crisisβ by @StarMaryGoth.
Thank you for waiting (and for asking me to give you a review again 
. I really appreciate it).
Plot: The storyβs plot is well written. And together with the cover - it is strong. That combination can tell a lot about the story. But, I think you should just write βThe year is 2119β. And the plotβs ending: Maybe Iβd write βFollow the lives of 5 girls fighting for justiceβ (but itβs just me, so just leave it).
By the way, the title is not bad at all 
Chapter 1
- The beginning is simple and suitable. But:
It is βWhat if I tell you that people are just lying?β - as you can see, you forgot to write βIβ as a capital letter and add βthatβ between the words βyouβ and βpeopleβ
- Well, I think itβd better if you wrote βNote: Itβs better to play the story on your phone, not on your tabletβ.
- The main characters look good and different from each other (and I hope to see that itβs true later in the story).
- Thatβs a proof of the worldβs injustice. And I already can see that the story matches the plot and emphasizes. I like it.
You should have added a colon ( : ) after writing βageβ. It should be written like this: βAge: 17 years oldβ. In addition, I think you should lower the narration a bit.
- Delilah seems to be a bold girl.
- You should have added a comma ( , ) after the words βFor onceβ.
- Again, write βIβ as a capital letter.
- Anddd, I wasnβt wrong. Delilah is definitely a bold girl
. What can I say? Well said.
- Hehe. Saying this only proves Delilahβs point.
You didnβt really use punctuation correctly:
- Age doesnβt matter**.** Stop trying to find excuses
- Just go to your room**.** The conversation is over.
- Oooh, Erika has a sassy attitude .
- Not fair at all. Why make Erika marry someone she doensβt love?
Great point. I liked it how her mother had nothing better to say after Erika said that.
The backgroundβs color shouldnβt be a bit pinky when the texts starts to appear. And the zoom should be still on Gigi. Check it out.
- Who is he to decide what should she wear?
You should change the speech bubble tailβs side (and lower the speech bubble a bit )
- Oh, poor girl. Married to such a man. And sheβs young to be married!
- You forgot to use punctuation here as well.
- Write βyou**'ll** do what I tell youβ
It is time for a change 
Chapter 2
- Life was hard for Sylvia, huh? Good sheβs gonna run away.
- Oh, no. I hope he will not realize that sheβs gonna run away.
You should have written her husbandβs name with a capital letter - Abel.
-
Oh, oh. He catched her in the living room. Will he find out that Sylvia is trying to run away?
-
Well, thank god Sylvia has brains.
You didnβt write correctly a word: Itβs βdefinitelyβ, not βdefinetelyβ.
Oh, man. Erika is such a sassy girl 
Itβs βindependentβ, not βindipendentβ.
Correction: βFine, I am done with talking to youβ.
Is this supposed to be a threat?!
Note: Iβd like to correct the sentence - βIf not, I guess we**'ll** make her understand in other wayβ
- Yeah, Erika. Fight for justice!
- Poor Gigi and her mother.
Seems like theyβre being bothered by dangerous people for what her father did.
I am not gonna lie - you still have grammatical errors, especially with wiritng the pronoun βIβ in a capital letter and you should know how to use punctuation correctly - you still have to work on these.
However, I see that your cast is diversed. I cannot say that itβs 100% diversed as the story has just begun. I really hope to see more diversity characters later in the story. But, donβt forget - do researches and ask people here about what you are gonna show in your story - whether it is religion, race, disability, sexuality, etc.
In short, thereβs a certain improvement. After all, thereβs always a place to improve, right?
I wish that your story will get lots of reads, that it will be a great story that many readers would love it 
.
And most importantly - enjoy writing it.
I hope my review helped you 
. Even just a little. And take your time while writing it (I noticed that technically you wrote only 2 chapters when you need to write at least 3. So, no need to rush)
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Thank you again for this review, i will make sure i fix those 
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Of course
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@WolfGamerGirl37, is it just me or episode 2 of Daughter of The blue Dragon has a scene repeating itself over and over 
? Could you please check it out?
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Is it near the end, beginning or middle? I found it. That is very strange. These errors must have recently popped up because I never have seen them before in my testing trials when I worked on the story. Let me know if you see any more scenes like this. Sorry for that unexpected hiccup in the story.
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I think middle (?)
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Yeah, it was the scene where Rina had cc template in place.
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Itβs included.
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Yep, thatβs weird that it sent you to almost the very beginning of the episode.
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Well itβs been fixed now. I checked it by restarting the episode to make sure after I put a label in place to send it to the next scene.
If itβs possible, please make sure that it wonβt happen in the next episodes.
Yeah, Iβll check the next two to see if a similar problem is happening. Just give a moment to do that.
Oh, donβt worry. Take your time. Iβll probably keep on reading the story either on Saturday evening or Sunday.
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Sounds good to me.
Bump
@WolfGamerGirl37, another glitch 
: why is the same scene being repeated on chapter 2?
(I checked out 3 times)
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