What advice would you give your parent or guardian to be a better parent?

For me I would give a lot of advice to my mother. We don have the best relationship and to be honest we never will. But some advice I´d give her is:

  • The 70’s and the 21 century are two completely different eras. Us teens do not act the same way you did back then.
  • Peer pressure is a lot more difficult than it was in your time. Try to understand it a little.
  • We are not your pure imagine. We will not be exactly like you in every way. We are allowed to be our own people.
  • Us teens have feelings. We aren’t cold hearted.
  • Try hearing us out. Before scolding us ask why we did something or why we feel this way/

I feel Parents and their kids relationships would be so much better if parents took the time to understand their kids, yk-

What about you guys?

  • Do you get along with your parents?
  • What are some things you wish they did and didn’t do?
  • What’s the advice you’d give them?
    @Discussions
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I do, I think I got very lucky with my parents and I love them to death

but they put a lot of pressure on us without knowing and my friends think my mom is partly to blame for my low self-esteem, but I can’t judge that.

do things better.
runs away scared and waits for them to respond with “We’ll continue this when you have kids”

But in all honesty, stop just straight up calling me and some of my friends fat.

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I 100% agree with this.
What does body shaming your kids do? We already have to go into the world and deal with insecurities and stereotypes our parents should be hyping us up not tearing us down.

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to be fair, me, my dad and brother have a high risk of getting fat

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Ahhh I see

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no, but I’m too scared of them to stand up to them :upside_down_face:

  1. Stop commenting on how much I eat/exercise/weigh
  2. Stop being so controlling
  3. Stop getting mad and suspicious at every little thing
  4. Stop yelling all the time
  5. Stop being racist @ssholes
  6. Stop expecting me to be perfect all the time
  7. Stop being so ableist

It won’t kill you to let me learn things on my own if I don’t explicitly ask you to help.

Trying to force someone to go cold turkey off of medical drugs or coping mechanisms will always backfire, whether you notice or not.

When you raise your voice I always think you’re mad. Idc if you’re actually not. In my mind you are and I get f-cking terrified.

Stop. closing. doors. I legit get anxious every time someone closes a door now it’s not a joke, maybe try just speaking quietly or something because I feel super trapped now when someone closes a door cus I feel like they’re gonna get mad at me over something or do some other bad thing

If I am unable to speak, that does not mean you should keep staring at me and refusing to let me leave until I do.

If I ask something and the answer is no, you do not need to explain why unless I ask. It almost always sounds like a lecture when all i wanted was a yes or no.

When someone stims, telling them to stop only reinforces the believe that their disability is a inconvenience to others, and lowers their self esteem.

It’s the 21st century. I will not laugh at your racist jokes. Shut up please.

I don’t need 20 friends. It’s not some big problem if I only have a few. Stop telling me to ‘branch out’ just because you don’t like my current friend.

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MY PARENTS DO THIS- Whenever I “do” something with someone is around they drag me into another room. Like first of all you aren’t being discreet i’m sure other people can tell I’m being scolded nice try. But nowadays whenever they close the doors I feel like they do that to hit me :upside_down_face:

Lord have mercy. Say this again I don’t think the people in the back heard you :relieved: PLS- the jokes aren’t funny. We are supposed to support each other. I’m a poc and it aggravates me when my parents become racist to other races. Just because they do it to you doesn’t mean it’s okay to do it to them…yk-

Same here. My moms always talking about how I need to make new friends. Mother I have lived in the same place for 15 years and grew up with everybody. I know who and who I don’t want to be friends with. It just so happens that I don’t vibe with a lot of people, sorry ig.

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My parents love to do it when talking about ‘private’ things, usually to accuse me of (TW) self harming and force me to explain myself to them and show them everything.
It’s gotten to a point that the moment I hear a door shut all I can think is “what have I done” “what did they find” “did I leave anything suspicious lying around that they could mistake for bad stuff” ect. ect.

yupppp
Istg I don’t think there’s a race out there that my dad hasn’t made fun of at some point or other.

thissss
Like… I’m not good at making friends. Or socialising. or keeping friends. Just be happy that I actually have one and move on.

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Ahhh I can see how that’s nerve racking omg :sob: I bet it feels like your walking on eggshells. And then when the door does close your left to wonder and think until at least on of them comes out.

“Keeping friends”
ME-
My mom has literally told me to my face how bad of a friend I am. Sometimes I want to be left alone. And just because we are friends doesn’t exactly mean we have to call or talk 24/7 everyday I like my space. And my mother thinks I’m a bad friend for doing so.

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yuppp
tis scary

ew
My parents restrict my social media use to the point where actually keeping friends is a feat in itself. And still they wonder why I’m not more social. They wonder why I struggle with loneliness. I’m sorry that it’s easier for me to communicate online, mother. It’s not my fault that I’m autistic and face to face/verbal communication is extremely difficult and draining.

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My mother restricts mine too omg :sob: at this point I have this whole thing under control and manipulated now. And omg I agree. Online communication is so much better :sob: pls- I get how that can be draining as well. I hope your mother changes her habits :weary: :pray:t5:

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I wish my parents could stop being so overbearing. It doesn’t mean I love them any less or that I would take their presence for granted. I just want them to understand that I CAN be independent on my own.

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I understand this one completely :pensive: :pray:t5:

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Hard to say simply for the fact I don’t like talking about my family online for the small chance they might see it but I wanna contribute to the thread so:

  • Don’t try to tell me how I feel or why I feel a certain way, you aren’t me, you don’t have my brain, when I tell you how I feel don’t say “no you actually feel like this because…” You aren’t therapists or brain experts.

  • Stop trying to force me into things, I’m an adult treat me like one

  • When I’m getting overwhelmed and I ask you to leave me alone just do it, don’t proceed to yell at me when you can see I’m already struggling to handle the situation

  • Don’t tell me how to express my emotions, telling me not to cry doesn’t actually make me not want to cry

  • Stop making comments about the food I eat then yelling for me to shut up when I ask you to stop

  • Respect my boundaries

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oh it will probably be all about emotional and psychological things!

  • Don’t invalidate my feelings or make me not express it in front of you. I honestly really don’t understand what’s the logic behind this—I get it can be annoying, but you can just leave me alone, maybe console me about it, or something that will make me think you care for my feelings. That’s not discipline, mommy. That’s trying to turn your kid into a robot :blush:
  • Don’t force me into things I don’t like. Sure, you can advice me, but in the end the decision will always be decided by me and none other than me. I would really appreciate it if you let me be confident about it at least once in a while, and maybe I wouldn’t have to question myself every time you let me choose which shirt to buy in the mall and taking more time that what you want.
  • Don’t make it seem like everything is my fault. Some may be mine, but not always. It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault, honestly. Maybe we can just have a mutual understanding about that argument or stuff and call it success in every side.
  • Please respect me. I’m also a person, and even though I’m younger than you (which doesn’t even matter) I have the right to stand up for myself as an individual especially if I know I’m right and doing that doesn’t mean that I disrespect you. If anything, it’s the other way around. And if I tell you to leave me alone, don’t scold me and ask me what I’m doing in a calm way. Let me speak too. Maybe I will slowly open to you just as how you want me to.
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