Shorts Series: Batcave - 2025
“ANTIEEEE JEZZZ”
Daniel watched as the 5-year-old ran to her aunt who had just come in through the door, wrapping her little arms tightly around the blonde who looked less than happy at Dan. Why? Who knows - there were many things Daniel had done in the last five minutes that would p!ss her off, let alone in the last two days which was the last time he saw her in person. Perhaps it was the fact that he told the President to fck off? That might be it - but DID YOU SEE HIS LITTLE GIRL WITH A BANDAID ON HER FOREHEAD. Not okay POTUS, not okay. Maybe it was the fact that he just purchased another pen!s shaped island and named it after Dorian DeLoughrey because he was, a dck. Get it? There was also a pen!s shaped island near there named after Kai. What could Dan say? He really loved creating tourist attractions for the people he disliked.
“Jez, I didn’t do anyth-”
Though he couldn’t even say that with a straight face. After about a second of starting that sentiment, he simply laughed, shaking his head. “Okay I’ve done a lot of things that you probably don’t even want to know about but why am I in trouble this time?”
After a few seconds of kissing VC and hugging the girl, Jez finally dropped the smile that was prevalent on her face for the little girl, before looking up and Daniel with a frown. “Tell me, Dan. Why the hell did a contractor come to Parker LLC asking where the artificial 13 story high waterfall was for systematic updates?”
Daniel looked at her, his eyes slightly widening at her words. “Bloody hell, I was wondering where he went. He must have gone to the wrong place. I swear, this is the last time I work with Rodrigo on my projects.”
Honestly, Daniel knew he was on thin ice with Jezebel after he went to vegas and bet the entire company in a game of high stakes poker. Like COME ON Jez, Dan could read cards - he knew he was going to win. But apparently, betting the entire company without the permission of your Co CEO was ‘disrespectful’ and ‘unbrotherly’ or whatever else Jez had told him during that hour long lecture. Though, hey, Dan did win the entire Coke-a-Cola company off the CEO and now had the deed on a napkin so it was totally legally binding. in retrospect, the CEO of coke should probably stop taking coke and betting his entire company away… but who was Dan to judge .
After a few seconds of a staring contest with Jez, Daniel finally sighed. “Look it’s not as bad as it seems, Jez. I think you’re just making a big deal out of nothing. You’d probably agree with me if I told you what I was doing,” That was a lie - she would definitely, 100%, not agree with him but he wasn’t about to tell her that. Without another word, he picked up his daughter and walked further into the house where she had originally been watching TV with her mom. “Love, tell my sister she’s overexaggerating. I’m a saint,” he started, though he just found his wife rolling her eyes while laughing at his words. “Jez, don’t trust him” “Don’t worry Val, I know when Dan’s being an idiot”
See - this three females against one thing was never a favorite of his. It was even worse when his dear cousin was in town, dare he say, he once had to side with Dorian. Ew. In anycase, after a few more minutes of trying to avoid his sister’s deadly gaze, he finally gave in. “Fine FINE. You want to know what the waterfall was for?” he sighed, standing up and leading his sister deeper into his house towards the library. He found Val following close behind with VC in her hands - though if there was anytime to tell this secret, might as well be now.
“Alright alright - so you know how I am absolutely obsessed with all of that superhero stuff right? Not the actual concept of it because let’s be honest, getting bitten by a radioactive spider is not going to give you powers, buttttttt…” Dan started, Walking towards a book on the corner that most people would have ignored. With a happy look Dan turned away from his family before pulling the book, revealing a secret staircase that lead one level down towards a reinforced steel hallway. Casually walking down, Dan smiled hearing the sound of his AI which he tailored after the Iron Man J.A.R.V.I.S. “Hey Jarvis, initiate protocol 42.1… family tour.”
“Of Course, Mr. Parker. Though, don’t you think it’s a little early for protocol 42.1?” the british, life like voice responded and Dan simply shrugged. “Tell that to Jez - I swear, she doesn’t bloody wait,” Throughout all of this, Dan wasn’t really paying attention to the surprised looks of his sister, wife, and daughter. Not surprised that he had been secretly doing this, but likely surprised that they had all missed it. Walking towards an elevator, Daniel looked into the eye scanner, waiting a second before verification was completed and the elevator opened. “Alright come on everyone, down we go,” Dan smiled, waiting for them to all get in. “Please keep all hands and feet inside the vessel, thank you,” Dan added, before pressing the button that clearly said “PARKER CAVE”. And down they went, multiple floors until the elevator finally opened. Before them, was a room filled with technology - inventions, computers, cars - everything one would imagine whey they thought “Hidden Superhero Cave”. “WOAH” he heard his daughter yell, and a smile met his lips.
“So… yes… superhero’s that’s where I left out right? Well, Jezebel… Val… Veronica Charlotte… welcome to my hideout,” Dan finished - walking out onto the platform. In the middle of the room were three large computers - running his tracing software he had built for the CIA, though, an advanced model. In the middle of the room was a holographic map of the world that could be worked on with the simple touch of a his hand, and of course, his Parker Mobile was beautiful.
“Please… don’t touch that… child…?” Daniel heard Jarvis say and grinned as he saw his little girl running and sitting at the computer. “Come here munckin” Dan muttered, picking his little girl up as he looked at his family who looked less than impressed. Well… no… Val looked impressed. “Dan… you’re telling me that you’ve been…” “Spending the last year creating an underground hideaway that has cost nearly half a billion dollars so far to be the superhero this city needs - I definitely have Jez. Don’t worry though, I didn’t steal the money from the company, this is just my personal funds going towards all of this. Though… the suit is going to cost a little more to make but don’t worry about that. It should be functional in a few months,”
“And the waterfall…?”
"More importantly, do I get a superhero suit? He grinned at his wife before moving towards her and kissing the woman, “Yes my love… and to answer your question, sis - if you drive that car about 1 mile in that direction, you’ll find a waterfall that connects the hideout to the outside world. It’s actually really fun, I think I’ve gotten the car functional to the point where it can be a submarine, and a plane.”
“Daniel… you’re an idiot,” she sighed, shaking her head before going further inside to explore. “Hey, HEY. At least say I’m a genius idiot,” dan yelled after her as he followed her inside. Though, she didn’t have to say that - Jarvis went ahead and did it for her. “I can, actually, confirm that Mr. Parker is a genius”
See. That’s why he liked Jarvis. IT CARED about Dan’s feelings.
@Littlefeets - Jez
Mentioned:
@CerealKiller - Vc and Val
@astxrism - Dori