{ Fck off Trevor part 2… Before part 1 }
cause when something hurts this much i know it’s real
Once again Dorian found himself on his balcony late at night, at first just playing with the phone in his hands as he overlooked the city. And it was a beautiful city if you ask him… everything he wanted when he was in high school - far away from his family where he could have a life of his own without any disappointment and feelings of being unwanted but a lot has changed, hasn’t it? At times like these there is a part of him that wished he was anywhere but here, wished he had someone here who truly understood him, he wished he could still talk to his sister like he did a few years ago but what was the point of that now? It didn’t matter how he was feeling or what was happening in his life… It really didn’t matter. He wished at least Elias was here so they could go out and Dorian could waste the night doing anything that would get his mind off of things he doesn’t want to focus on. But Dorian actually had someone he could call now, someone who he wanted to call the moment he found out about the engagement and it’s funny how that person was the only person he… trusted now. It was just that he didn’t care that much about what she would think or say to him so it was easier and less scary to talk. Bitting on the inside of his cheek, his finger hovered over the call button for a few second before he hit it and walked to a chair he had there. Once again putting Anna on speakerphone so he could leave the phone on the table, he crossed his arms over his chest looking into the distance. His gaze not focused on anything, his mind for a moment empty, just listening to beeps and as soon as he heard she picked up the phone he spoke up before she could. ”Did you know?”
Whatever she was saying, whatever was happening he wasn’t paying much attention to. He wasn’t listening to her because he already knew the answer - if she knew she would’ve told him but he… Just didn’t really know what to say, how to start this conversation. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Did you know he was going to propose?.. Sorry for ruining the surprise,”[/color] so he once again repeated “the question”, still just blankly looking in front of himself and listening to his own quiet voice instead of hers. Instead of trying to explain what happened and how he knows, he continued ignoring the girl on the phone as his mind started going over the events that took place that week. His calls with Anna and advices he couldn’t take, stupid SpongeBob and street food, late night conversation with Jess in his bed when she wasn’t supposed to be there and his arm over her when that’s not what he was supposed to be doing, all the things he decided to say but… Didn’t get a chance to because it was too late. The couch that was still in his living room which he was planning to replace and what happened on it before he noticed the ring. It was a mess of emotions he couldn’t put into words and never in his life knew how to. A self doubting boy who would only turn that into self destruction. [color="lightsteelblue”]”At least it was a pretty ring… He seems nice… Yeah. I don’t know… I don’t like him… But he is nice and he brought pizza and… She was happy. She was… And then I kicked them out,”[/color] at this point he was talking over the girl, and it almost felt like he was just talking to himself which… It was something like that. Just saying everything that was on his mind because who cares? Right? [color="lightsteelblue”]”Hah, it’s funny… There is this building across the street and… Only one… Light is on. I wonder what they are doing,”[/color] chuckling to mask his shaky voice, Dorian started playing with shirt. Aaand maybe saying what he was truly feeling about the situation he called Anna for wasn’t the best idea so let’s just move on with this. It hurts less. [color="lightsteelblue”]”Staying up this late… Having a better time than you right now, am I right?”[/color] Another chuckle but this time Dorian finally shifted his attention to his phone to see if Anna was still on the line because from the moment she picked up he kind of forgot he was talking to her. ”Sorry, I should go. Just wanted to share the news. Good night or… Have a productive day? I don’t know.” With that he simply hung up the phone, now not being able to repeat a single words she said and for the next few minutes he stayed there, looking at one lonely light across the street.