Malachi Azure
Alt Universe: If Skye died before the reunion
Kai knew showing up at Jess’s place was a terrible idea. He could never begin to truly make up for everything he did to her, but he couldn’t live with himself knowing he never tried to make things right. Why Akielah had been willing to tell him where to find her, he couldn’t be sure. Maybe she just wanted to help him, or maybe she knew that he needed Jess, that she was probably the only person who could pull him back from the edge. After what he did, he didn’t deserve her kindness, he didn’t deserve her accepting his apologies. He didn’t deserve to be there.
He watched as Jess went to the door, paying for the Chinese food she was waiting for, before setting it on the counter. “I know…” he admitted when Jess said how sorry didn’t fix everything he had done. As Jess left the room, closing the door to her bedroom behind her, Kai only felt more guilt. He shouldn’t have let himself come back into her life.
For a while, Kai just sat with his head in his hands. He shouldn’t be there. Jess didn’t want him there. Scarlet would even be better off without him there. He looked to the door, considering just leaving right then. Maybe everyone would be better off if he was just gone, if he was no longer in their lives, if he didn’t exist anymore. Either way, he decided against it, for the moment at least. He simply put the food away for Jess, despite her words saying he could eat it, and went in to the guest bedroom where Scarlet was sleeping.
He didn’t know how long it had been, he couldn’t sleep. He tried, but any sound or movement Scarlet made had him awake. He may have gotten a few minutes altogether, but it was only a matter of time before she began to cry. He picked her up, cradling her in his arms, but it wasn’t enough. “Shhh. Don’t cry… I’m right here Scarlet, please don’t cry… please…” He was exhausted, at his own limits of what he could handle in every way. The one thing he could push himself to do was try to take care of his daughter, and he couldn’t even seem to do that. He didn’t know what was wrong, how to get her to stop crying.
He didn’t know how long he had been trying to calm Scarlet. It had probably only been a few minutes, despite feeling like much, much longer. He didn’t notice the door open, and only realized when he heard Jess’s voice. He didn’t mean for Scarlet to wake her up. He should’ve been the only one unable to sleep, but when she asked if he needed help, he looked at Jess unable to protest. “I don’t know what to do… She won’t stop crying…”