Malachi Azure
Alt Universe: If Skye died before the reunion
Kai felt drained, emotionally, physically, mentally. It was like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and it was crushing him. He knew something as simple as taking care of his own child shouldn’t be as difficult as it was, but the more his baby girl cried, the more he felt like a failure. A parent should be able to know what to do for their child right away, but he didn’t, which only made him feel even more like he wasn’t good enough. Though, when in his life had he ever been enough? Kai certainly couldn’t think of a time where he had been, so he didn’t know how he ever could be enough. All he knew was that Scarlet was the only thing that made him even try to do anything. She was the only positive he could hold on to, and he couldn’t take care of her.
Kai knew he needed help, and Jess could clearly see it too. When Jess carefully took Scarlet from his arms, he could see she knew what she was doing. She knew better than he did, and all he could do was to follow along and watch her with Scarlet. When she told him to wash out the bottle and make the formula, Kai simply nodded and did as he was told. He had done it enough times to know what he was doing. Kai quietly washed out the bottle, mixing in the formula with the water, listening to Jess talking. Bottle in hand, Jess quickly calmed the little girl, who was happily drinking her milk in Jess’s arms.
For once, there was some quiet. Kai found himself leaning against the wall, eyes closed, letting out a breath he had been holding. If he could just ignore the storm in his head, it was almost peaceful. He barely noticed that after Jess told him he looked awful she stepped out of the room, coming back to him and giving him a pill container, telling him to take two. He looked at the container that was now in his hand, then back to her as she sat back down with the now sleepy infant still in her arms.
“What…” he began, stopping himself before asking about what she was giving him to take. There was a part of him that was unsure about it, but what difference would it make to not go along with it? There wasn’t a reason to not trust her. If he was being honest, he trusted Jess more than he trusted himself. “I trust you.” he admitted, as he walked towards her, to take one more look at his daughter now that she was calm. He knew Jess could take care of her, far better than he could at that point. He looked back to the container in his hand, then back to Jess. She was right, he needed to go to bed. Maybe knowing that she was taking care of Scarlet would help him actually sleep for once. With a last look to Jess, as if to thank her for watching his daughter since he didn’t have the energy to say the words, he reluctantly walked back into the other bedroom to try and sleep. He was exhausted, but didn’t feel like he could sleep. Though, perhaps while he slept, nothing would matter, he wouldn’t feel like he was drowning, for just a little while.
It felt like a long time before he managed to fall asleep after taking the pills Jess told him to, but exhaustion soon took over. When he woke up, he had no idea how long he had been out. He did feel more rested, though he was still far from actually feeling better, but that much Jess would be able to tell. There was no hiding that he was little more than the shell of the person he once was. Kai didn’t have the energy to even try and keep up the fake smiles he had put on for so many years. Walking out of the bedroom, he did find Jess. He didn’t know what to say, and after a moment, the only words he could muster were “Hey Jess…”