Dorian DeLoughrey
“It was a joke on your parents because of the comments they make at every single dinner about us being together and we both wanted it to stop. But I’m glad you and Anna were happy.”
“Funny,” was the only thing he could say with a straight face after a moment of silence, avoiding looking at her. Now that was just… good to hear and stupid. But can he say that? When he did a similar thing?
So not only was their idea stupid but he felt stupid. If he knew that before she asked about Anna he would say how that was also a joke but no. Now he would feel even worse if he told her the truth so the only thing he could do is avoid her gaze and nod. “Yeah, happy.”
If he ever felt more ignored and not appreciated, more than he feels in his own home, it was in this room, in this very moment. The feeling of not belonging, it wasn’t very nice. A feeling he would never wish for anyone, not even the people he supposedly hates. One small room and four people but he still felt alone. A completely different feeling than from just an hour ago, but both terrible. And there wasn’t really anything he could do. In that situation, if it’s not his family, he would act the same way as the other person, so that’s what he did.
Leaning back against the wall, he looked away from the group, trying to ignore their voices as he drew random shapes on the floor with his finger. Kind of like a calming down mechanism, a distraction. Circles inside of circles, spirals and squares. But it wasn’t helping, he was still listening to everything that was happening, almost wishing things were different. Wishing he was able to say something that would make sense, to joke about the reason why the two of them joined them… but wishing things were different meant this, being here, would’ve never happened.
The moment Jessica left again was the moment he said his first words after a while, or whispered them. “We’re not. I guess I wasn’t important enough to even know she’s alive,” he simply shrugged, keeping his head down as his finger continued making random shapes. But what actually made him look up as what the topic of marriage. Or just that new information he didn’t really get. Married? Who? What? Or just… how? But at that point he was already too hurt to even ask so he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and chuckled to himself. I don’t want to be here, the only though he had in his mind.
“Andy? Mikel?.. Dorian?”
Hearing his own name made him slightly raise his brow, but as his head was down it wasn’t noticeable. So now he was important? Letting Andy answer her question first, he started playing with the laces of his shoes. “I don’t want to play that stupid game,” a mumble, followed by a shrug. “It’s not like what I’d say would matter because it seems like I’m not supposed to be here, in this group. So continue not acknowledging me, please.” He whispered. “It’s very comforting.” Another whisper as he continued playing with the laces of his shoes almost nervously, not even looking up at them once.