As he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tighter - Jessica, for the first time in a long time, felt a crushing weight leaving her shoulders. She relaxed into his touch and instinctively allowed a sigh of relief to leave her lips. Perhaps it didn’t mean anything. Perhaps this would simply turn into another fight - one they often had as of late. And could she blame him? No, if she was anyone else; she’d hate ‘Jessica Peirce’ for all the fck ups too. For leaving… for coming back and still not explaining anything and rather pretending nothing ever happened. She didn’t deserve anyone’s forgiveness… especially not Dorian DeLoughrey who honestly was a man she hurt the most. Not to mention she had hurt him in the cruelest way possible. Falling back in touch with his cousin, with his parents and brother… but never him. Though she never meant to hurt him in that way. He was the last person she wanted to hurt… the person she loved the most was hurt the most by her. What an ironic twist of fate.
She just… could never find the right words to say to him. After all; what do you say to the best friend you left four years ago with barely any explanation? So instead, Jess took the easy way out; simply not saying anything. But now that she was here, in this moment, wrapped in his arms and immediately all of that faded away. All of the pain that he never knew about - the one that she herself went through in not telling him. It was present in everything she did… from secretly sending him birthday presents so one day he’d know that he was always a part of her life. So that he’d know she never truly forgot about him… and she never did. Little things always reminded her of their lost friendship even when she was gone. And the pain she felt when she couldn’t talk to him was unimaginable. So yes, she apologized. She always meant to - for the last four years she needed to. But how to get it out? It was almost impossible - perhaps that’s why she held off on it for so long. But she couldn’t anymore. If there was one thing Jessica Pierce knew more than ever before… here in his arms as he held her was that she needed him in her life. Needed her friend back that she talked to every single day for years. The person she did everything with.
So with her apology; she finally pulled away, looking at him… really looking; something she couldn’t say she had done since she arrived back at Cerulean Hiigh. Perhaps because it hurt so much to see him look at her like she meant nothing. Perhaps because she knew if she looked, she’d simply break. And Jessica Pierce was already too broken to allow that to happen. She attempted to read his features… anything as she spoke. But despite him saying nothing, she continued; telling Dorian DeLoughrey everything that had been on her mind for 4 years. Hell… part of her didn’t know exactly what she was saying. But for the first time - she was getting something off of her chest that she needed to. Another chance… that’s what she had asked for. How ironic; asking for a gift when it was his birthday… but it was one she could only hope he would grant.
Vulnerability filled her entire being as she finished her words… waiting but a millisecond before rambling about what they had dm’d about earlier. It was, after all, in her nature. Nerves = filling the silence with things she probably shouldn’t talk about. She didn’t know what was going through his mind - perhaps she was even expecting him to say he couldn’t. And Jessica would never blame him for that. Four years… was a long time. Though as she found him walking towards her again, another weight lifted off her shoulders as he hugged her for the second time; her arms naturally wrapping around his neck as he held her. Though this time, she held him with a ferocity of never letting go.
“Thank you,”
Perhaps she didn’t know what he was thanking her about, but she simply shook her head no in his shoulder. “No Dori… thank you.” she mumbled. “god thank you so much,” she whispered again; pulling her against him tighter if it was possible and placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Though what she hadn’t expected was his next words. “Dori no…” Jess sighed as he finished, pulling her head away just so she could look into his face. “I know you would have done anything… I always did. I… I never gave you the chance to do it. Maybe part of me did that on purpose because I just… with what I had to do no one could have stopped me… but I wanted you to know that I loved you more than anything else. That even if it didn’t seem like it… I was always thinking about you. So don’t ever blame yourself for what I did.” she whispered in response to his statement and smiled softly with his mention of being hurt - and put her head on his shoulder again… a tear leaving her eyes that she didn’t want him to see.
“…and gosh, you’re so wet. What happened in there?”
A smile met her lips with the joke as he pulled away; his shirt slightly wet from her hug; though still in no comparison to her. “I decided to recreate Rhianna’s umbrella music video of course. Where the hell were you?” Jess smiled though it faltered ever so slightly as she looked back at him. “Hey Dorian…jokes aside… there is one more thing we need to talk about… that you’ve deserved to know for… god, years.” Jess said, her heart dropping… not because she wanted to tell him… but because of the reasoning itself. “But I’m not going to tell you today… I just want you to spend the next few hours having the best 18th birthday you can have because today isn’t about me, it’s about you.” Jess smiled, nudging his shoulder in a joking manner. “Welcome to the 18-year-old club by the way… and I swear to god if you say some joke about me being 4 I’m going to throw a football at your head,” Jess smiled. “I just… mind if I come see you when you’re done with dinner and ice cream? I can throw some rocks at your window again around midnight like we used to?”