Playlist of all songs on this post
Note from Beni:
I highly suggest if you’re going to read this post, that you listen to the playlist as you do. It does add to it the aesthetic of this post. In any case.
- Note. In gold I will be adding where you should be starting to play the specific song in the playlist.
- In blue will be quotes that represent what the overall theme of the year is.
- All in all, I have low expectations that 99.9% of you will read this. But if you do, I appreciate it. It took a lot of time to write but I don’t regret it. Enjoy.
We all make mistakes. We say things and do things out of hurt, anger, and all kinds of negative emotions. But to beat it all, we have to be willing to understand, forgive, let go, focus on being positive, and make the most out of the present moment to work for a bright future ahead. – Unknown.
10 years. A lot can happen in 10 years. A decade worth of memories. Of living life. Of finding love and losing it. Of Jessica Pierce living and making mistakes. Maybe a few too many mistakes but hey… isn’t that what life is all about? A collection of mistakes until you find the one or two things that make you truly happy? Mistakes but ones that Jessica would never want to forget. Well… most of them at least. Because you see… it’s a collection of these mistakes that made Jess who she is today. Mistakes made her… well… her. And alongside those mistakes; Jessica Pierce had some of her best memories… and perhaps some of her worst ones too.
Year 1: Age 19 - 20… or more like 5 in Jessica years
“When I tell you I love you, I am not saying it out of habit. I am reminding you that you are my life.” – Unknown
Play Stuck with U – Ariana Grande
This was one of her happier times. Well… not including a particular wedding that took… time to get over… though it would be a lie if Jessica said that seeing articles or interviews with the new… Prince and his wife didn’t hurt. Because it did. Because part of her would always love a man she never truly knew. But that was a story for the past.
In any case, graduation was gone and it was a summer filled with… well, if we’re being completely honest, a sh!t ton of sex. Well… after physical therapy that is. Let’s just say sex right after being stabbed… not fun. Not the good kind of painful either. So, most of that time was just spent… getting to know one Dorian DeLoughrey in a different way. A way where she tried to rewire her brain into seeing him less like a friend and more like… well… someone she wanted to be with. In retrospect, it wasn’t hard. Jess already had feelings for Dorian, and he had feelings for her. Though… it was fun seeing him take her on an actual date. Have you ever seen Dorian DeLoughrey nervous? Jess has. It’s quite fun to tease.
Though when her doctor finally gave her the go-ahead for the – let’s call it sex-a-pade – well…let’s just say; the two went bloody at it. And Jessica loved every moment of it. Not just the sex… mind you the sex was great. But it felt like for the first time Jess was with someone she loved and that loved her with nothing holding her back. Was this called a honeymoon period? A time where all sense was thrown out of the window? Jess wouldn’t really know; all she did know was she loved Dorian with all her heart. And that feeling didn’t disappear within a month… two months… four months… should she go on? It was an unexplainable feeling… a consistent feeling of butterflies in her stomach when he pulled her towards him. There was something about being around Dorian DeLoughrey that was just simple happiness. There was a want within her to be around him as much as she could because it hurt not to be near him. Her heart, for a long time, fully belonged to him. So sure. Call it a honeymoon period. Most people didn’t understand the relationship. But to Jess, it wasn’t ever just that. It was a feeling she had for years before when they were just friends. It just… wasn’t as clear before. And love… real love… intoxicating love that was something Jess did with her whole heart, if her past was any indication. That love was what she felt when she was with Dorian. It didn’t matter how many miles were between them. When she was with him, time stopped. It stilled and she always wanted to bask in it.
Play Golf on Tv - Lenon Stella
The memory of the two of them still swirled in her mind on quiet nights. The way he held her…touched her…. loved her… and, look I know what you’re thinking. But he did love her. She knew that with her entire heart. Jessica never had to wonder with him. But here was the thing. As much as Jessica loved Dorian DeLoughrey, there wasn’t just one way to love someone. Love was complex. It was difficult. It was messy. It wasn’t just the need to be together, it was the need to want the best for each other. And that’s all Jessica Pierce ever wanted for Dorian. The best for him and for him to succeed in anything he set his mind towards. And the funny thing was Jessica always knew he could do it. She knew from the moment she left four years ago, gifting the man a watch with the words “see you in the hall of fame.” The thing was… Jessica just never thought she’d be the one to hold him back. It was a position she never wanted to be in – but one she was faced under for two reasons.
- The pregnancy stick that read she was, indeed, pregnant.
- Dorian DeLoughry’s Soccer coach… who told her that at this point in his career, Jessica would be the thing that stood in the way of Dorian’s dream.
Suffice to say. Love could cure a lot of problems… a lot of pain – but it couldn’t fix this. And Jessica wouldn’t be the one to hold her love back from what he wanted more than anything in the world.
Year 2: Age 20 – 21… still about 5 in Jess years but she GROWING
“A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.” – Unknown
Play The Enemy - Andrew Belle
Children. It was something Jessica had always wanted. Hell… sometimes it already felt like she was a mother to her little siblings. Paige Pierce being the newest addition to their family and Jess loved the little girl with all her heart. And perhaps she didn’t expect it to be this early… but was it terrible that for a split moment she was happy. That for a second… time stopped and she just wanted to stay where she was? Happy? In love? Having the baby of the man she loved more than anything else in the world. But that was the thing about life:. nothing was ever at a standstill. Time moved on and for Jessica Pierce, it seemed as if it wasn’t ever on her side.
It was a few days after she had learned she was pregnant… a few days of working up the best way to even tell Dorian… that Jessica was called into Dorian’s coach’s office. She didn’t know what to expect… but nothing could have ever prepared her for what she heard that day. The man had called her in to convince her to break up with Dorian DeLoughrey. Any inclination Jessica had at the beginning of the meeting to tell the man to screw off and leave disappeared in an instant when he told her why. And in a way… it made sense. There weren’t many soccer players she knew that made it far in the career that weren’t single. Partly because Soccer scouts recruited people who were unentangled. Who could go anywhere in the world. Who had nothing holding them back. And sponsors, the thing that really made an athlete, paid those who they could sell. Sex appeal they could sell… and having a girlfriend for Dorian DeLoughrey didn’t fit into that picture…
Leaving that room; Jess made it all the way back to Dori’s apartment. And for a long time, she stayed emotionless about the subject. No tears met her eyes, instead, Jessica’s face mimicked that of stoic detachedness. Though finding herself in his apartment, she soon moved to his bed, wrapped herself within the comfort of his blankets; and then, she finally allowed them to fall within the comfort of his scent. Was it bad that Jessica’s mind was recollecting the entirety relationship? And the way her mind processed; it truly felt as if it was happening for the first time again. Her eyes gently closed as her hands hovered over her stomach. Her mind wondering to a memory that would make her momentarily happy before doing what she would have to do to make sure that Dorian was happy… without her.
Flashback to happier times
“It was the way you laughed…. That I knew I wanted you in my life.” – Unknown
Play Midnight Kids – Run It ft. Annika Wells
“Oh shut up love. I could, without a damn doubt, do what you do in a day. Easy.” Jess teased as her boyfriend told her she’d never be able to keep up with him and what he did in a day. In retrospect, she was complaining about the fact that he had football practice on spring break. Who the bloody hell had practice during Spring Break? It was ludicrous.
”Really Jess? Are we betting then? 24 hours – you have to do exactly what I do. From 12 Am to 12 Am? Whoever wins gets to make the other do whatever they want?
Perhaps part of Jess knew this was a trap from the start. But what could she say? It was spring break and she wanted to spend the time with him. “Deal,”. Ironically – the worst word that could leave her mouth. Though she wasn’t thinking about that as she wrapped her legs around his waist, letting him walk the two to his bedroom. Yeah… the night was fun… that didn’t exactly last long as she felt someone waking her up at SIX in the morning. Does anyone need a reminder that Jess barely sleeps in the first place? Let alone being awoken at 6 in the morning after she had already fallen asleep was NOT fun. “Doriii,” Jess mumbled, stuffing her face in his chest as he had this annoying smirk upon his features. Come on, up you get… unless you give up already?”
“Don’t bullsh^t me Dorian, you wake up at 8 and take a shower,”
”No, you wake up at 8 and see me taking a shower.* I** wake up at 6 and go for a 2 mile run and work up a sweat for that shower,”*
See… SEE THIS? This was trouble. It was screaming trouble. But Jess got her ass up, begrudgingly at that because mama don’t lose no bet, and walked into the kitchen. It wasn’t until she tried to get a leftover pizza out of the fridge to give her some sort of life at a time only Dracula was awake that she realized what Dorian had meant by “exactly what I do,”. It bloody meant she had to eat like him. LIKE HIM. Which is why she was stuck with a disgusting protein shake at 6:25 AM with ingredients that probably should never be in a shake. What should be in a shake? Ice cream. Chocolate. You know. GOOD STUFF. What did he put in there? Bananas. Protein that “tasted” like chocolate (hint – it didn’t. Whoever made that sh!t had never tried chocolate in their lives). But like a damn champ; Jessica chugged that sh!t without throwing up.
And if you thought that was the worst of it? Or even if the 2-mile run in the morning was the worst of it? It wasn’t. Perhaps the best part of the day was the shower sex they had that morning because it just went bloody downhill from there. She had to do drills…. with his team…. Which meant… more running… during fcking spring break heat… WHO THE HELL RAN UPWARDS OF 8 MILES IN A DAY FOR JUST PRACTICE? Let’s just say… Jess couldn’t move her legs by the end of the day. And not the “oh I just got stabbed and I can only walk for a few minutes at a time,”. No, she couldn’t walk. It was pain. Periodt. How the hell… no… WHY the hell did anyone put themselves through this pain. AND SHE HAD ONLY HAD PROTEIN BARS, A SALAD WITH CHICKEN, AND PROTIEN SHAKES ALL DAY WHAT THE BLOODY FCK. Nope. No. A girl could only take so much.
So fine. FINE. If eating a brownie meant Jess had given up. She would gladly give up. She would gladly give up as Dorian carried her home with two McDonald’s bags as Jess licked her ice cream. Happy. It didn’t matter about the stupid competition because honestly, in his arms was where she felt truly happy.
Play Thank you for the happiest year of my life - James Young
Her eyes opened as she laid in Dorian’s bed the sun had set and night had approached. It took a few moments for Jess to get up. It just… all hurt. Her body… her heart. Every thought that was running through her mind intertwined with Dorian. She heard the door opening and, in an attempt to hide the fact that she had been crying; Jess started the shower, hiding her tears by allowing them to mix in with the water. Though hearing Dori enter the bathroom; Jess made no effort to tell him about the events of the day. Instead basking in the warmth as his arms warpped around her in the shower as he joined her. Probably the last time she could ever do so.
For Jess… it always seemed her happiness never lasted, and this was just another time she had to face that truth. She was holding him back. They say, if you love something, let it go. And in the morning, that’s exactly what Jessica had done. Biting her tongue… holding back how much it killed her to watch the pain on his face as she told him they were better as friends. That they just… didn’t work.
So yes. They say, if you love something, let it go. If it loves you, it’ll come back to you. The thing was… Dorian DeLoughrey didn’t come back. She didn’t expect him to, but that hurt more than words could ever describe.
TRIGGER WARNING: Year 3 contains sensitive topics. Please read at your own discretion. - Suicidal Ideation
Year 3: Age 21 - 22... She's almost six aight. We getting there...
“A shattered soul loses pieces every time it’s glued back together” – Unknown.
Play Love you from a distance - Ashley Kutcher
Junior year. Supposedly the time of one’s life, right? Maybe… Jessica’s didn’t necessarily start out like that. High points and low points, right? Well… this was a low point if anything ever qualified. One week. That’s all Jess lasted after breaking up with Dorian. She couldn’t do it… she just needed to see him… she needed… him… to tell him she was sorry. That she was an idiot. That she loved him and always had. Maybe it was the hormones causing her lack of control, but she did go back to him. Or… for clarity’s sake… almost went back to him. She took a flight out and went straight to his apartment. Jess wasn’t paying attention to the time. She didn’t care that it was 1 in the morning. She just needed her Dori back.
One week and she had given Dorian his space for a little while. For a few days. And maybe she needed the space too. Maybe she thought being away from him made any part of what she did easier. If she was being honest though… one week too long. Too long to know that there was someone out there she loved that thought she didn’t love them back. At least… that’s what was going through her mind as she used her key to enter his apartment. The moment the door opened… she heard them before she saw it. The noises, the screams of pleasure were deafening. As the door opened, what caught Jessica’s eyes was the fact that the floor was filled with clothes – both Dorian’s and what seemed like another girl’s black dress and shoe. She’d say shoes but it seemed neither had time to take off both as there was only one heel invisibility. And it hit her in an instant. The gravity of the mistake she had made. Within a few days, she had lost him. Lost the man she loved. And now… it was too late.
Leaning against the wall, Jess could feel a silent tear falling down her face as she listened to the two – her hand moving gently to her stomach as she let her fingers gently touch where her child was growing. Though after a few seconds; Jess’ hands went to her keys, removing the one that allowed her entrance into the apartment and softly placed it on the side of the kitchen counter before walking right back out the door, back to the airport, and took the first flight back to London. Honestly, she was numb to the pain. Numb as she left his apartment. Numb as she sat on a flight back home. Numb until the moment the warm water of her bath hit her skin and then… and only then in the comfort of her empty apartment did she let her tears fall.
Play To build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra
Within all of this… Jess did find brief happiness. She switched all her classes to online during the next semester when she was 3 months pregnant. And honestly, it hadn’t been a terrible 2 months after the breakup. Jess had continually reached out to Dorian. She knew him; she knew if she didn’t, he would push her away and she could deal with a lot but losing him was not one of those things. Maybe she couldn’t be with him, but she still needed him in her life. And perhaps she had set herself up for failure? Jessica had learned a lot in her short 20 years of life and one of those lessons were that being happy just wasn’t in her cards. Hell just look at her past. Anna hurting her… Simon dying in her arms… losing all of her friends for years… losing Kai… and losing Dorian. So should she have kid herself in thinking that she could be happy again. Happy with kids of her own. Happy as there was a mini her for the rest of her life?
She shouldn’t have and that idea was only exacerbated when she learned she lost her babies. And yes… babies. Something she learned when she was brought into the hospital. She hadn’t checked before… maybe because part of her wanted to know with Dorian and she couldn’t get herself to learn by herself. Because part of her would always want to share in the joy of learning the gender of her child with the man she loved though… that would never happen. Despite that, Jess had already decorated her penthouse. Bought toys and clothes for both girls and boys. Bought a crib… decorated a room.
She didn’t expect it. To wake up in the middle of the night with a piercing pain so unimaginable that she could barely reach her phone to call the police. Waking up in the hospital, she had already known what happened before the doctor even came in to reveal that she:
- Not only was going to have twins, but
- she lost both of them because her body was still recovering from her injuries a year ago and her body couldn’t handle the stress of the babies.
No pain that Jess had been through up until that point could compare to what she felt in that moment. To learn that the one thing she always wanted she had lost in an instant. Because of her idiocrasy. Because she wasn’t enough… because she was never enough.
Reaching her apartment when she was discharged – Jessica immediately fell apart the moment she entered the room filled with what she had bought her future children. She couldn’t contain it anymore. Her body broke down and all she could do was cry. At one point; Jessica found herself laying in the large crib she had built, sleeping where her children would have and just stayed there – unmoving. Food, water dimmed in comparison to what she felt. Days felt like seconds. Nothing mattered. If she wasn’t crying it was because she had cried so much that her body physically couldn’t anymore, and she passed out from dehydration. It had gotten to the point that even if Jess wanted to move, she wouldn’t be able to. Bu that was the thing. t she didn’t… want to. She just wanted to close her eyes and be done with it all. Because honestly…she was just so tired.
She probably wouldn’t have survived if Daniel Parker hadn’t found her sleeping in the crib she never moved out of. The man had been rightfully worried that he hadn’t heard from her for over a week and burst into the apartment. He didn’t have to guess what had happened. The room was filled with every answer to any question he could asked. Daniel saved her… but honestly, she didn’t even know what being saved even meant at that point. Had he truly helped her? Or did he just extend her pain?
It was Jezebel that truly helped her get out of her own depressive psychosis, telling Jess how she had lost her own baby years earlier. And for a while; Jess found comfort in her cousin – a connection to her that she had never had before. A bond… one that neither should have ever had to endure, but one that helped Jess live past the age of 21 and get back into… well… living. Something no one except Daniel and Jezebel would ever know. Something that she would never put on Dorian because he didn’t need that. He deserved more then her. More than a girl who lost their babies.
And now; Jessica realized how wrong Jordan truly was – something else she never knew about until that day. Because sometimes; for those you love, you take more pain than you, yourself, can physically handle to save them from any. And honestly, she’d make the same choice if she ever got the chance again.
Year 4: Age 22 - 23 - ONE MORE YEAR AND SHE's SIX YES SIR
“There is no ‘past tense’ in loving someone. It’s either you always will, or you never did,” – Unknown
Play Rubberband - Tate McRae
Things were better the next year. She was working through everything with Dan and Jezebel’s help along with taking therapy for her health – though it was something that stayed between Daniel, Jez, and her. Perhaps it was needed… something to push her to finally talk about the pain she had endured in her life with someone else in its entirety. What Anna had put her through… the pain she endured with Dorian, Kai, Simon, and now, her lost children. The pain in her past had a way of piling up and after a year, she was finally in a good place again. She was thriving at her college as the senior editor of her school newspaper. Not to mention finding a way to love herself again… a difficult feat after the previous year. It took a long time for her to look in the mirror and not despise the person who looked back at her. But this year was filled with something else. Something she thought she had left behind a long time ago.
Past love. People have many names for it. Exes… the one who got away… the as$hole that cheated on you… Honestly, it really depended on how the relationship ended and the person you asked. Though there’s one thing that remains the same with all of these ex-lovers; if you ever see them again, it hurts. Like a fcking b!tch. And the same holds true for Jessica Pierce. Senior year: Jessica Pierce was editor and chief of her college paper. At the time, she didn’t know that it meant that she would be here. Standing at the Listerian castle with dozens of other editors and chief’s who all got the chance to do an exclusive interview with the Prince and Princess of Listeria. It was apparently part of a new outreach program that the kingdom was doing but all it really meant was Jessica was here… seeing Kai for the first time in two and a half years. Jess was a master avoider… for a girl who could disappear off the face of the planet for four years… trust her on that front. She had even avoided him at Dan’s wedding… or tried. Hell, that was hard. Jessica always had a magnetic pull towards Kai and that ideal didn’t cease during the wedding as she found herself running into the man outside only to commence into an awkward conversation that ended with her rambling her way back inside and away from him.
Armed with a notepad, and an audio recorder; Jess sat in the audience of the press conference. The security had taken everyone’s cameras and phones – not that Jess cared too much about that. Honestly, she just didn’t want to be there. She had even tried to convince her second in command to go without her… before her mentor threatened with not writing her the letter of recommendation for when she graduated… something she needed if she was going to go on that trip to North Korea next year after being chosen two years ago as one of the final candidates…
So here she was. Voices filled the room with excitement from the other editors; most of them bragging about their accomplishments. Being on Harvard’s staff, or having articles published in the New York Times in the past. Stating things that Jess honestly didn’t care about. Because honestly; her mind was too wrapped up in the person she’d be seeing in a little bit. There was no requirement to ask questions and part of Jessica just wanted to sit silently and just write up an article of the answers from other people. Maybe she could avoid being seen. ”Hey are you okay Jess?”
The girl opened her eyes, meeting her friend Lexi who worked with her. “Yeah, I just… do you mind asking the questions we came up with? I’m just… I don’t feel too well?” Jess answered. She knew the girl was going to ask her what was going on. If Jess was one thing; it wasn’t shy. It wasn’t the girl who kept her head down, and she sure wasn’t the person to let a little thing like not ‘feeling’ well stop her from uncovering a story. Though the girl didn’t have a chance as the staff asked for everyone’s attention.
Play Bad Ones - Tate McRae
Silence soon filled the room and Jess simply closed her eyes. She didn’t… want this. She didn’t want to see him because she knew the moment she did, all those feelings would resurface. Hell… part of them never disappeared. That’s what she had learned about love – it never diminishes. You could hate someone as much as you loved them. And that’s what she knew was true about Kai. Part of her would always love him. Jess heard the echoing voice of the press manager or whoever he was who uttered something about ”Please welcome the Prince and Princess or Listeria,” as applause filled the room.
”It’s great to be here with such bright students from all across the world. I’m excited to see what questions you have for us,”
His voice met her ear and her heart dropped. The familiarity of it reminding her of when the two of them were happier. Jess’s eyes moved down her hands; not wanting to look up for fear of meeting his eyes… though listening as questions were asked. Questions about their educational plan for the children of Listeria, for their global impact project, for everything and anything someone could think of. Was Jess surprised none of these questions were anything more than pre-rehearsed answers? No – especially since they all had to submit questions beforehand to get approval. After a few moments; Jess felt Lexi stand up; someone bringing her a microphone as it was their turn to ask a question. For a few seconds; Jessica continued to keep her head down. Then she heard the girl talking.
“First let me thank your majesties for allowing my editor and I to represent Oxford University…”
Jess felt eyes on her and taking a deep breath; looked back up for the first time. Her eyes immediately meeting his as a confused expression met his features for a second. Though after a few seconds… despite them feeling like hours… Jess pulled her eyes away from his and back to meet Lexi’s who had started asking the question; one that actually was deeper than asking about surface-level policy. Rather, it was a question about why their policies were inconsistent across the board with certain things. But despite this… she could feel that his eyes were still on her. Further emphasized as Kai wasn’t the one to answer the question – the princess was. And Jess didn’t know what it was about that… the princess in general but she found herself standing up and taking the mic instead of letting Lexi give it back to the staffer walking around after the question was answered.
“Follow up question. And I will apologize beforehand because this definitely wasn’t on the list of approved questions. But, your majesties, I do hope you don’t mind clearing a few things up as we and the world are curious since there seems to be a pattern of both of you dodging these particular questions in the past. First: Do you have anything to say about the rumors that were leaked a year ago by a former maid who… implied that the two of you were having sexual relations with someone other than each other….”
Jess could feel the tension in the room increase as the staff was speaking in their earphones to each other. “And second question. Prince Malachi…” Jess started, looking him in the eyes for the second time. “Various news articles have noted that next to your wedding ring, you religiously wear another ring on your pinky finger. What’s the significance behind the ring?” Jess questioned. She could feel the shock in the room… it was to be expected. This behavior wasn’t expected from an editor; let alone one from one of the top colleges of the nation.
And… suffice to say Jessica was kicked out fairly quickly after those questions were answered. Well… the princess answered the first one… Kai did… answer the second. His words of someone important to him giving him the ring echoing in her mind as security dragged her out. Honestly, Jess wasn’t paying attention to where they were taking her; though after a few moments she realized she wasn’t being led outside.
Play War of Hearts - Ruelle
“Wait where the bloody hell am I?” Jess asked; trying to pull away from the security’s grasp though it got tighter. “This is bloody harassment,” Jess stated, struggling more as she was pushed toward a room. She found the door opening and finding herself face to face with… with Kai Azure.
”Let go of her,”
Jess looked at Kai as the tight grip was removed from her arm; causing her to instinctively rub the spot.
She looked at the man whose eyes were focused where the guard was holding her – a man who immediately let go the moment Kai spoke. “I can handle myself, Your majesty,” Jess sighed after a few moments of silence. Though as she said those words; she could see the hurt in his eyes. ”Don’t… call me that,”
“What do you want from me Malachi? Why am I here and not currently being thrown out onto the street… or rather a holding cell?,” It was a valid question. The two had done well to avoid each other for the past 2 years. Though that didn’t dimmish the fact that Jess was widely aware of how close they were to one another. She stopped looking at him after a few seconds, looking around the room only to realize they had brought her to his private chambers. She was going to say something about it though she was stopped with his words of ”You can’t ask questions like that,” which honestly only went to ignite a sense of annoyance within her.
“And why not? Does the truth hurt Kai? Because god I’m really curious to hear your response to that. So what? You really have the audacity to make your guards man-handle me here to just tell me that? To tell me I can’t ask questions I’ve already asked?” Jess asked, looking back up at him as she asked the statement, taking a step closer to him so she was right in front of him – allowing her to whisper, “Too damn bad.”
Was she being mean? Perhaps… but perhaps she was reflecting how much it just hurt being around him. And it did hurt, because part of her would always feel drawn to him.
“You wanted to know why I still wear the ring? I answered you. Someone I care about gave it to me,”
“You don’t care,” Jess responded immediately shaking her head, looking at him a broken glance before turning away from him. “I can’t…” Though she didn’t have the chance to say anything else before she felt her hand pulled back towards him and his lips found her. Jessica didn’t know what it was… perhaps it was his words from earlier, but she couldn’t help herself. She reacted, her body moving closer against his as she pulled his lips towards her to deepen the kiss, letting a moan seep through. “You’re right, I don’t still care about you, Jessica. I still love you,” he whispered and it was something about that statement that just made her heart race. ” That’s why I never took off the ring, That’s why I called you here, and I know I can never change your…”
Though this time, Jess didn’t let him finish talking as she moved his lips back on his, wrapping her legs around his waist in an attempt to bring him closer as she let out soft moans of his name as he brought her towards the bed; taking her clothes off without a beat missed. There was just something about being in his presence that was confusing and infuriating. But at the same time… there was a comfort in it. But for the first time in a long time, Jess felt that sense of happiness that she used to feel when she was with him at the age of 18. A feeling that only grew as the two explored one another’s bodies again for god knows how long. She wasn’t thinking about the mistake she was probably making. All she knew was that the man who’s arms she was sleeping in were ones she missed… so god damn much.
Jess laid with her head against his shoulder, the two lying naked in his bed as her mind went over their past. Jessica Pierce couldn’t deny the fact that despite years apart, her heart still wanted him. Maybe that was the reason the words came out of her mouth. Words that were filled with senseless hope. One fooling her into thinking everything she had been through in the past could possibly have a good ending. A happily ever after… with Kai.
“Kai…,” Jess mumbled. “You asked me a question four years ago. Would you say yes if I asked you the same question today?” Jess asked, looking him in his eyes with a ferocity she hadn’t had in a long time as she indicated the time he asked her to run away with him. There was something in his eyes at that moment, but it wasn’t hesitation. Instead, she found him her closer, kissing her once again before nodding. And once again… there was a brief sense of happiness bubbling within Jess as she let the man turn the two over once again, closing her eyes as she basked in the feeling of his lips moving from hers and gravitating down her body towards her stomach.
…
Play Arcade - Duncan Laurence
“I love you, and it’s killing me.” - Unknown
She should have expected what happened next? Should she have even been surprised with the way her life went? Should she have gotten her hopes up as he told her to wait for him outside the castle as he tied up a few loose ends? Should she have expected that the world would let her have her happy ending? These were questions that roamed her mind thinking of this particular moment and was it even bad that she had fooled herself into believing it could happen? For the first time in a long time – she felt it again. That pit in her stomach. The feeling of going into the unknown with someone together. The feeling of being with someone who makes you so happy, it hurts. To be in love.
Suffice to say she was a fool – something that was clear when he came out and gave her a look. Perhaps it was her own blindness in not seeing it as first as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Thinking back to that moment, it was there…. The pain in his eyes. And then he said it… breaking Jessica’s heart for the second time. “I can’t Jess… I’m so… sorr…” she didn’t let him finish that. All Jess did was let go of him, give him a look that clearly portrayed the pain she felt, and without another word, she walked away. Saying nothing. He didn’t deserve it. And again. Jess was broken. By a man who broke her so many times before. A man she was a fool for loving. A man she was a fool for still loving.
Year 5: 23 - 24 – my lil 6 year ol' cutie
“You cannot continue to move forward if you continue to carry baggage from the past. They can continue to life in your heart, but you must let them go” - unknown
Play This is All we Got - Robin Schulz
Happiness… Pain. It was a reoccurring theme in Jessica’s life. And god she was tired of it. Perhaps it was a benefit that after the moment that killed her inside with Kai… that after the worst year of her life after losing her babies… she had the excuse of disappearing. The excuse to do what she did best. To leave. Though this time… she did say goodbye to her friends. To Dorian who she always kept in touch with, despite the pain it brought her below the surface. But she would never let him see that. For, she would forever need him in her life. To Andy, who was still happy with a little girl and Ziah… despite Ziah’s condition getting worse over the years. To Daniel, her cousin though, he would forever be her brother, and Jezebel who she only saw as a sister with their connection. Goodbye to Anna, to little Paige, William, Emmy, to her family. This time she had the opportunity to do so. She had to do so. And she did… And then. She left.
One year. One year of working under the most brilliant professor she had ever met. One year of being undercover. You see. This wasn’t just a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It was the once in a lifetime opportunity. Jessica was there as an undercover writer. A strange ideal as they were allowed into the country under the guise of reporting. However, here was the twist. Having darker skin made it possible for Jessica to pretend she was nothing more than an uneducated aid. Someone to carry bags, to set up the camera. No one expected she was the true writer when the world-renowned Sebastian Varlock was doing the reporting. But here’s the secret. Professor Varlock made this plan with her so while he was shown what the government wanted him to see, she could sneak past the lies. Be treated as they would treat servants. Snake past and see the real North Korea. And with Daniel’s help, Jessica Pierce had the best technology on her side. Cameras smaller than the current technological capabilities even allowed. Gear that allowed her to get information that no one had ever gotten out of North Korea. And honestly; that year, as difficult as it was, was the best thing that could have ever happened to her. She needed it. A year without technology. A year without being around people who, despite their best intentions, could never understand what Jessica felt. How she felt. And suffice to say, she did a hell of a good job. Well… she did almost get caught at one point near the end. On the day they were headed back to the US, Jess was… let’s say… momentarily imprisoned and to stand a death trial but after quite literally escaping, she came back and wrote an invigorating piece about her experiences; and within a month it was released everywhere.
Though there was some sadness when she returned. Jess found out a few days prior to her return, Ziah had passed away. It was within the same day that she got back that Jessica showed up at her Nugget’s door with as much food as she could carry from McDonald’s. Ringing the doorbell to see a saddened man who she wrapped in her arms immediately. One year – that’s how long it had been since she had seen her nugget. And it hurt her that the moment she did, he was broken. But Jess had been there, and Jess wouldn’t leave him until he was ready to walk again.
Year 6: Age 24 - 25 - she do still be 6... it will be a while till 7
The reason why we can’t let go of someone is because deep inside, we still have hope – Unknown.
Play Pierre - Ryn Weaver
After winning her first Pulitzer following her return, things were crazy. For one, Jessica had a year’s worth of messages to catch up on. And two, she was doing interviews at various places talking about her experience being in the country. However, despite how ‘crazy,’ life was. It was a good crazy. The kind of crazy that keeps someone distracted from all the sh!t that went wrong in one’s life. And honestly, it was a healthy crazy. If there was one word that could describe this year it honestly was ‘healthy.’ Not just in her personal life as she caught up with her friends… Andy… Dorian… still two very important people in her life, her family which included being thoroughly involved in Daniel, Jezebel, and Anna’s life not to mention playing with her 5-year-old sister and learning about 11-year-old Will and Emmy and what was going on in their lives. Honestly, they were both such smart kids and Jessica loved them and spending time with them after a year apart.
But there was also a sense of healthiness in her romantic life. During one of her many interviews for her award-winning piece, Jessica’s old friend Trevor Jackson had been performing for his new album. Honestly, it was always fun to be on Jimmy Kimmel and running into someone she hadn’t seen in ages was just the cherry on top of it all. Especially since the last time she had seen Trevor was when they did a truly awful music video together for one of his songs when he was younger. Despite dating rumors; the two had just stayed friends at the time. But there was something about him that just… gave her a sense of familiarity that Jess couldn’t shake. Perhaps that’s why after a few casual meetups just to catch up, the two started dating and just fell into a rhythm of being with each other. Jess supported his music career, and he supported her writing one. It was simply the definition of a healthy relationship and honestly, Jess loved it.
There were no ifs with the man. Not to mention all the worry… the fear that it wouldn’t work out because of their past didn’t exist with him as it did with Jess’ past lovers. Though the question of love. That was a tricky one. Jess loved being with him. She found comfort in his side. But did she ever truly love him? The intoxicating ‘I don’t want to be without you’ love? The love that consumes you. That gives you passion, adventure, danger?
No… but she was happy with him. Though she couldn’t be sure of much, she did know that. Perhaps that’s why when he proposed to her after 3 months of dating… Jess said yes. Because in the end, he did make her happy and a part of her could see herself being with him for the rest of her life, despite not feeling that rush. Because guess what? That “rush” that love… it didn’t exist in the long term. Hell, it didn’t last. That much was clear with Dorian and Kai that the type of love shown in the books and movies wasn’t meant to be. It was fleeting but this… what she had with Trevor… this was what a real relationship was like.
But then why… why did Jess always feel like there should be more? Was it because she had that in the past and lost it? That love that just makes you want to wrap yourself in their warmth and never leave? It was easy to say that one could be content with love… but that’s not always how it worked.
About a month and a half into the engagement, Jess recalled the royal function she had to go to for her family. Trevor was on tour for his album so he couldn’t make it, but there she was after two years at a royal event; her baby sister Paige in tow. Honestly, Jessica usually didn’t go to these types of events anymore… a pertinent reason being avoiding a certain… prince. However, Anna was busy alongside her parents and so Jessica was elected to represent the family alongside Paige. In retrospect, the Prince and Princess of Listeria often sent their apologies at not being able to make events anyways, so Jess was almost hoping this was another case of that. Long story short… it seemed the one event Jess had come to over the past two years was the one event the Prince of Listeria had elected to go to… abundantly clear when Jess heard someone announce Malachi’s presence at the charity gala. A sigh left her lips as she looked over at the bartender, “Make that a double… please,” Jess sighed, grabbing the glass and drowning it before looking towards where her little sister was originally playing with a few other kids including her cousin, Aria. The issue was, neither of the two were where she had last seen them.
Jess wasn’t necessarily worried; after all, with the security in this event she had her doubts anything happened to them. But she also didn’t want to lose sight of the two. So instead of just leaving the two; Jess walked around. What stopped her in her tracks was when she saw Paige dancing with… well… do I even need to tell you? Malachi bloody Azure. It was ironic. The first time Jess felt something for Kai was when he was dancing with a little girl at a wedding and now, this scene, did make her remember remnants of that feeling for a brief second. Because honestly, he looked happy with the little girl. But that feeling didn’t diminish the overwhelming feeling of… anger. Of utter frustration. With an air of purpose; Jess walked to the two, bending down towards the little girl as she looked Paige in the eyes. “Paige what did I say about going up to strangers?” Jess questioned the little girl who looked at Jess with bright eyes.
“Umm… to…. Do it?”
Play Remember That Night - Sara Kays
A sigh left her lips as she looked at the girl who had her innocent smile playing upon her lips. “Paigeee,” Jess muttered, kissing her forehead. “Paige you can’t go to strangers. Where’s Aria? Is she with her mom? Why don’t me a favor and go find them and I’ll buy you ice cream?” Jess bribed with a soft grin. “okay?” Jess watched as the little girl nodded, before running away waving at Kai with the words “BYE MISTER.” For a second, Jess didn’t look up at him. Though after taking a deep breath, she gave him an unreadable look. “Your majesty, If you don’t mind, I would rather you stay away from my sister and my family,”
Emotionless. That was the only way to describe Jess’ tone with him. Could she deny that a part of her still felt something at being so close to him? No. But did Jess have enough control not to fall for that again. She thought so. Jess was going to leave him with that – the only words she had said to him in over a year… since the moment he told her he couldn’t be with her. The ‘why’ was something she had never found out. Because honestly, she didn’t want to know the reason he didn’t want to be with her. She didn’t need to know. All she knew was as he once asked her to disappear with him, she had asked him and this time, it wasn’t her who said no.
“Jess,”
“Don’t, Kai. Just…don’t.”
Though what she hadn’t expected him to do was to pull her to the bathroom; possibly the only place that was quiet enough for the two to actually hear one another. And why she let him? She didn’t really know. But for the third time; the two were alone in a bathroom. ”Jessica. You don’t understand…” She listened as he started explaining how the princess had told him she was pregnant. That she lied. But did that matter? Was that the point?
“Kai just stop…” Jess sighed, running her hands through her hair. And that’s when he saw it – the ring on her finger. The symbol that it truly was too late. The one thing that had kept them apart the first time would once again keep them apart. It didn’t matter how Jess felt when she was around him. She was… happy with Trevor… right? She was happy…
Though she didn’t expect for his lips to be on hers within a few moments, her body being pushed against the wall. For a second, she let it happen. She kissed him back, and that rush. That feeling she never felt with Trevor filled her body. The one that allowed her to realize the true extent to what she had been missing with Trevor. ”Please…”
As he pulled away, Jess gave him a look. One that was simply filled with… confusion. She had been so sure for the past month that she had made the right choice. What was it about Kai that made her doubt all of that In an instant? “Kai… I…” Jess muttered. She lost her words as he held her body in his hands. ”Be with me,”
And so… Jess did it again. She followed her heart. She said yes. And for the second time, the tiniest sense of happiness filled her body as the two escaped the party; spending the day as if they were once again 18. As if nothing had changed since the moment when Jess used to call him at 2 am to pick her up from whatever random location she had ended up. Since the moment she used to spend every night in his arms.
But this isn’t a love story, and life was never that easy. Despite leaving her engagement with Trevor… telling him that she could never love him the way he deserved. For the third time, Jess had to endure watching Kai walking away from her. For this time, his wife was really pregnant and the words the reasoning that Jess had used to leave him that first time so many years ago – the fact that his family mattered more than anything else – came true. Because for the third time. He left her again. And honestly, did she blame him? No. She blamed herself. She did this to herself. She had found something that could last… a friendship that would last through marriage. And she let it go for something that made her feel alive. But as much as Kai made her feel alive, he killed her every time. But she wasn’t wrong. Trevor did deserve better than her. And so, did she regret leaving Trevor? No. Did she regret falling for the same old story with Kai? Yes.
And this time, it would be for the last time. Because, as Einstein once said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
Year 7: Age 25 - 26 - Another year :)
“You don’t marry someone you can live with. You marry the person you cannot live without” – Unknown.
Play Weekend - Verite
Dorian DeLoughry. Throughout the years; Jessica had stayed close to the man. No amount of him pushing her away could stop her from pushing back. Because here was the secret. She loved him. She always loved him. Maybe she couldn’t be with him, but she wanted to be there for him. And she was – through games, through life events… through the simple day-to-day events. Perhaps part of her would always wonder what if. Because out of the loves she had in her life, he was the only other one that made her feel truly happy. Fully happy. Fully in love. With nothing, holding her back. Not the Trevor kind of love which… was something on his own as the man had recently released a song targeted at Jess. And not the Kai kind of love that made her doubt everything she was doing. But that true, safe, invigorating, love. Probably the kind of love Jess would never have again, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t happy for him when he proposed to a girl named Kennedy. It was a clear yes from the girl when he had asked her to be his best man… after all, he was her best friend. And as such, Jess would give him the best damn party she could. And she had; planning a party in Las Vegas with his best guy friends.
Play Heat Waves - Glass Animals
Perhaps she should have said no. Perhaps she should have recognized that loving the groom in a way that was stronger than a ‘best friend relationship’ was just asking for trouble. And that was exactly the problem. One drink too many, words exchanged that should have been kept to themselves, and Jess found herself in bed with Dorian DeLoughrey that night. Her head may have been throbbing that morning; but unlike Dorian, she remembered every moment of the day before and she let it happen. The way he told her he loved her, the way she couldn’t stop herself when he kissed her – immediately kissing him back. The way she had pushed him into a closet where they had sex for the first time of the night. How they had run into a chapel and signed a piece of paper that pronounced them man and wife. And finally, how they ended the night having sex in his hotel room again. Suffice to say… it was a mistake. Not because in another life, Jess didn’t want this. Want him. Want to be his and only his. But because he wasn’t truly hers. Because he was getting married to someone else within the span of a few days. Someone he loved.
So yes, it was a mistake. Jess didn’t want to ruin his life how she had ruined her own. So, she did what any sane person would, she got it expunged. A drunken mistake is what she called it. And then she told Dorian she couldn’t be his best man. She couldn’t… you couldn’t love the groom the way she loved him and still support him at his wedding through such an important role. She couldn’t… god she couldn’t watch him get married to someone else. So after telling him those words… she left. Not disappearing without another world “left,” but in a ‘took an offer she had been holding off on’ left. One that would allow her to disappear for another year under the guise of working for a monarchy – though attempting to find the true corruption within it. Did she know that Dorian canceled his wedding until a few weeks after she disappeared? No. Did she know why he did… honestly… it seemed as if Jessica had once again hurt Dori and the regret she felt was indescribable. But there was also something else… a sense of hope? A sense that maybe… just maybe Dorian still loved her. That maybe… she wasn’t the only one?
Year 8: Age 26 - 27 - Wow she gonna be 7 soon
“Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say I love you, but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true,” – unknown
Play Feelings - Lauv
It was this feeling…. One of hope that resulted in a letter she had written to Dorian during her undercover job. Something that was difficult as Jessica was pretending to be Juliette Massey as she worked as an assistant for the royal family while attempting to gather enough information for a story. Supposedly, the monarchs of the country she was in were having dirty dealings with Cuba through a Nuclear deal and Jessica’s job was to gather enough information to take it down.
Though she couldn’t help how she was feeling… and so she risked it. She sent Dorian a handwritten letter telling him everything… the fact that she still loved him… and that if he still loved her, to wait for her. That if she returned in a year and he still wanted to be with her… that… maybe… they could be happy as they once were.
And she left it at that. After sending that letter – Jess attempted to get it off her mind. If they were meant to be together, then they would talk about it when she got off her undercover work. And thinking about it just… wouldn’t do anything. So instead, Jess put her all in her job. She thrived under her role, being the bright-eyed assistant – setting up publicity appointments for the royal family. Getting to the point where they trusted her to handle their books. Be in meetings… record meetings for their books.
One particular meeting threw her off her game, however, causing slight distrust and ruining months of work. The day that the Prince of Listeria came to do peace talks. Jessica could still recall walking into the surprise meeting to give the Prince of Alexandra an update on talks with Cuba. Though, she stopped in her tracks when she saw Kai. Though this time, there was no love in her eyes. There was only ire… frustration… annoyance… shock. “I…” Jess started, though shook herself out of it.
Play Infinity - Jaymes Young
“Prince Victor, I have the transcript you had requested,” Jess muttered, attempting to ignore the man who was looking at her. “Give it to me later Juliette, I have a meeting with the lovely Prince Malachi. Do you mind bringing us some tea, darling?” Jess looked at the two princes in the room, and attempting to remain as calm as she could – she nodded.
“How much sugar do you take, Prince Malachi… was it?,” Jess replied. It was a sentence that represented a secret signal for her to record the meeting in the room with the hidden mics so Prince Victor would be able to use anything that was said against the man if need be. Though as much as Jess hated Kai, she would never hurt him. So instead of recording it; Jess simply sat into the meeting with her earphones in, recording the conversation for her own records though having the intention to tell Victor that the mics had a technicality issue and didn’t record.
She sat into the meeting for 10 minutes, listening as Victor attempted to convince Kai to join his “cause.” Though after 10 minutes, Jess stood up; grabbing the tea she had been sent to “fetch” and returned with the tray. Handing Valor his cup, she saw the man thanking her, though as she handed Kai his; she dropped a tiny bit on his suit – ‘apologizing’ immediately. “Let me help you, Prince Malachi, I am so sorry,” Jess stated as he stood up immediately at the heat of the cup. Leading Kai to the bathroom; Jess led him inside as she grabbed a rag and dipped it in water, throwing it at him. “Don’t ruin this for me Kai. Stay the fck out of my way, and I’ll stay out of yours. Got it?” Jess asked, watching as he dabbed his suit; though his eyes were only on hers.
”I won’t get in your way,”
With that, Jess moved back towards the door… stopping before she opened the door. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret. He’s making me record your conversation. Don’t sign his peace treaty, he’s hidden amendments in it. And don’t be stupid Kai. Victor might only be 19, but he’s dangerous. He doesn’t care about his people. And he sure as hell doesn’t care about this peace treaty,” Jess stated, giving him a look before opening the door before leaving his presence. But there was something clear about this meeting. Something that there had never been before. Jess may have still cared about Kai… that would never diminish, but she wasn’t the same girl he had fooled before. She wasn’t the same girl who’d ask him to run away with her as he once did. Because now, that time was over.
Year 9: Age 27 - 28 - Wow my baby growing up. 7 years yes
“To be content doesn’t mean you don’t deserve more, it means you’re thankful for what you have and patient for what’s to come.
Play All I want - Olivia Rodrigo
What ifs. Life was truly filled with them, weren’t they? What if Jess had never left Dorian? What if Jessica had said yes to Kai the first time? What if Jess was smart enough to go to the doctor before she lost her children? What if she never left Trevor? We could go on forever. But what was the point in asking the same questions? Jessica Pierce couldn’t change the past – but that didn’t mean she couldn’t change the future.
She had finally gotten done with her undercover job, finding exactly what she needed to. The nuclear codes that she sent straight to the FBI. She needed to write up her experiences, but the moment she got out – the only thing she was wondering was if Dorian had waited? Maybe… maybe there was hope for them yet. She found herself reaching his apartment, knocking on his door with her sense of hope that never really disappeared when it came to Dorian DeLoughrey.
Though as the door opened, a girl wearing his shirt looking back at her with a raised eyebrow.
”Sorry did you need something?”
Jess felt the soft drop of hope when she saw the girl… it seemed Dorian had made her choice. But she wasn’t necessarily upset. A choice was a choice, and she respected his. “I- sorry. Hi I’m Jessica Pierce, I’m friends with Dorian DeLoughrey I was wondering if he was home?” Jess asked the girl who shook her head, telling her he was at practice. But what she hadn’t expected was for the girl to invite her in. And honestly, Jess liked her. Liked her for Dorian. Clio. She was a sweet girl – funny. Something that Dorian deserved. Apparently, the two had been dating for the last year, and for a while, the two laughed about different stories involving the man. Jess smiled as Clio gushed about Dori, showing her a trophy in his room that he had one from a recent championship – and in other words catching her up for the last year of Dorian’s life.
Jess had just been randomly roaming his room. Letting her own memories cloud her mind as Clio talked. Opening his closet, Jess smiled. “Does he still have that hideous green sweater that…” Jess asked; though she shut up when something fell out as she found the sweater she was talking about. Seemingly tucked within the seater was a small box, and the moment it fell to the floor, Clio’s eyes widened. “I didn’t do that,” Jess stated, in her daze as Clio walked up and opened it to see a gorgeous ring. “That’s…” Jess started, though the other girl had already started putting it on her finger. ”Perfect,” the girl mumbled, and honestly, Jess had to agree.
Play Slower - Tate McRae
And in that moment, Jess understood. Her coming back… like this… she couldn’t do that for the second time. She couldn’t ruin Dori’s life for the second time… his relationship for the second time. Hell… his happiness. “I’m so happy for you two,” Jess beamed for the girl. “Hey… I need to go, I have a few things to take over but… enjoy tonight with Dori. I’ll reach out later this week and maybe we could all hang out?” Jess asked, grabbing her jacket and leaving the apartment with a sad smile – though one that had no negativity towards Dorain. And she did have a talk with Dorian, pretending to find the ring herself so she could tease him about asking Clio to marry him. Placing the ring on her finger, she said something like “She’d be an idiot to say no with this ring, you know,” but that’s where it got strange. Maybe it was what happened in their past with his previous wedding, but Dori visibly became upset at her comment and told her to take the ring off. Jess wasn’t sure what had happened, but that night he told her to leave, and wanting to give him space, she did. Jess said goodbye and left him to do what he needed. Maybe it was best if she stayed away while he proposed to Clio.
Coming back home; Jess finally begin working on her article about Alexandra, and once again, earned a Pulitzer for her work with a few months. And then… Jess did something she never thought she would. Her past kept… roaming her mind. And so she… put it to paper. She wrote… and wrote… and wrote about her life. About Anna… about her nugget. Her crazy tech genius cousin… her loves. She wrote it all. She didn’t think she was going to do anything with it. It was something just for her. But Anna found her journal, and the girl, despite so much of it being about her and the pain she had caused Jess, sent it into a publishing house and soon – The Whim’s of a Pierce was released. And after that, Jessica’s name became comparable to that of some of the great books. The Harry Potter, the Shatter me Series, the Divergent. Perhaps because people thought it was fiction? Either way, it was a story that was loved. Her friend Michelle Obama and Barack put it on their must read list, alongside Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, and soon, the New York Times called her book a best seller.
It wasn’t long when she was getting calls about making it into a movie or tv show. Despite offers, Jess waited for one that allowed her to write on it. It was her story… she didn’t want it turning into something that she didn’t want. And that’s when Netflix allowed her full creative rights. Working in collaboration between CW and Netflix; she made a story. A story for her. A story for her friends. A life in picture.
Year 10: Age 28 - Present Day
“To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.” -Charlie Chaplin
Play Dance in the Dark - Rihanna
So, ten years. Ten years had come and gone. And within those ten years, Jess had the best memories a girl could ever have. And she had the worst ones. She was so far gone, and she somehow came back from it. She somehow survived. Honestly… she did feel stronger because of it. It wasn’t a lie to say that without being through what she had been through, Jess wouldn’t be who she was today. Wouldn’t be the person people had known her to become. Was that a good thing? That wasn’t a question she truly knew the answer to. But she did know that she was at a point in her life that she wasn’t bogged down from the past. Carrying the weight of every single thing on her shoulders. She had moved past her pain. She had learned to live with it. To play with it. And for the first time, in a long time, Jessica Pierce was unequivocally happy. Happy with where she was in her life. Happy with who she saw looking back in the mirror.
But there was something else sitting on her shoulders now. A reunion. Some with people she hadn’t seen in years, and others, she saw constantly. Jess found herself parked outside a gas station, running inside as she was on the phone with Daniel.
“Jess I swear to god, get your ass to this boat before it leaves without you and we have to fly you in,”
A laugh left her lips. “I am I am but Dannn I’m starving. I need sugar,” Jess stated, walking into the gas station and grabbing a small handheld bucket, and placing about 14 different snacks into the basket. Chips, drinks, a slushie… damn she loved slushies. There were also some questionable corn dogs being sold and sure, did they have the possibility of making her sick? Maybe. But hey, everyone needed a little spice in their lives, so she grabbed a few off the heater and brought all of the snacks to the counter as Dan said something about there being food on the yacht. “Okay yes Dan, I know that. But that’s fancy rich people food. I need good, cheap food that’ll make me sick in a few hours,” Jess stated on the phone.
“I’m sorry… Dan I think your…” Jess started making a staticky noise with her lips, “… breaking… up… oops,” she stated, before hanging the phone up.” As the man finished scanning the items, Jess looked behind him. “Can you add three of those too?” Jess asked, pointing at something behind him, and the man nodded.
And once again, she was off. Did Jess barely make it to the boat before it left? Yep. But did she come on the boat with a tone of food in plastic bags making the next night livable and edible? Yep. With that; Jess didn’t spend too much time on the man deck – heading straight towards where her room was located so she could put said items down before joining the rest.
@astxrism - Dorian (Like just all the years)
@Littlefeets - Kai and Jez and Ziah (I mean… all together, probs all the years scattered)
@CerealKiller - Andy (Like year 5? and present? I think?)